Still trying to figure it out

Photo from Sociais & Metodos

So much has happened on the job front.

I met with my old boss and it was a healing encounter.  I actually got to hear those words that we all long for when someone has done us wrong, but rarely get to hear. She apologized and said she'd been wrong.  She even looked a bit misty eyed when she did it.  She talked about that RN who'd talked bad about me, and the other folks that had been part of that group of people.  When she'd worked with them more herself she realized that some of them were lazy and some of them were not emotionally stable or healthy.  Although that same nurse continued to work for the company, my old boss had come to realize that she had problems.  She said she was sorry that it had taken her so long to make it right with me. She talked about the potential job and offered me a large salary plus bonuses to come work with her again.  I left that meeting feeling like I'd finally had the closure that I'd always wanted with her.

Right after that a recruiter contacted me.  Recruiters contact administrators all the time (one of the many side effects of a high turnover job). I didn't initially think much about this one. When she told me the position and company for which she was recruiting, my attitude changed.  It was a company I'd longed to work  for because I greatly admire their clinical stance and commitment to people who have mental illness.  I told her I was super interested and she had that company's regional HR person call and talk with me.  The HR person and I totally hit it off. The HR person set up for me to phone interview with the regional director of operations and the VP of operations.  The phone call with them went well; I was thinking how great it was to talk with people with the same  passion, vision and values as my own.

At that point there were two jobs I was looking at - one where I'd worked before in west LA and one where I'd always longed to work in Long Beach.  Although the Long Beach job was close to a condo my husband owns, neither job was close to where I am currently working and living. I set up to go to both job sites on the same day so I'd just be taking one day off work.

I went to the old job in west LA first.  It was fun to see all the positive changes that have been made.  There were lots of sweet greetings and hugs from the staff who still worked there.  It was a positive experience.  My old boss offered me the job and I asked for 2 days to consider due to the location. I left there thinking how fun it would be to work there again.  The location didn't please me; LA traffic is the worst.  Last time I worked there I had to drive 1.5 hours each way to and from work daily in grueling traffic.  I didn't want to do that again (plus John would never want to buy a home in the type of neighborhood I previously lived in.  It was a bit ghetto). Housing anywhere within an hour drive of west LA is off the charts expensive. I pondered these things as I drove to the next location.

At the Long Beach job I first met in person with the regional HR and 2 operations folks. That went fine.  Then they had the on site clinical and nursing directors tour me around the campus.  I fell in love with the site and all it had to offer clients as well as these two men, they would be great to work with.  Then I went into a room with about 12 site leaders sitting at a table and interviewed.  Typically I hate that kind of thing since I'm basically a shy person.  This time it went great.  I felt at home with these people.  The next day the regional director of operations, the person who would be my boss if I got the job, called me.  She explained that the way they ran the 12 people interview, every person completes a private ballet about their thoughts on the candidate.  She told me that every single person I'd spoken with that day wanted to work with me. I felt great because I'd liked them too and wanted to work with them. She said that the next step was to fly me to their corporate offices to meet with the owner and the president of operations.  She explained that they had to sign off on any administrator hired by the company to manage one of their programs.  She said that the regional HR woman would contact me with potential dates for that interview.

I was torn about my old boss.  I had only asked for 2 days to let her know my decision. I didn't want to keep her hanging. If I did not take the job, she would only have 3 of the original 5 week notice the leaving administrator had given her to find a replacement.  I knew that almost every other administrator would just accept her job offer, and then if the other job came through, tell her that a better offer came up.  That felt wrong to me.  That would leave her in a bad spot.  I prayed about it and decided to just do what seemed to me to be the right thing.  I explained about the other offer and said that she should open up the search because I didn't want her to end up without an administrator.  I said that if the other company didn't come through, and she'd not found someone, that I would still be interested. She seemed angry.  She said something about yes, I did need to tell her, it was not like she just had another administrator in her back pocket.  She stonily asked me why I would want some other company compared to the one she worked for and I explained that it was about the location and the other job was close.  She seemed like she was forcing herself but she did say that she could understand that if a job was closer to a home I already had, in that same situation, she would take the closer job. She told me not to be a stranger and to stay in touch.

When I spoke with the regional HR person for the Long Beach job she said something a bit odd.  She said that the regional operations person would prep me for that interview and that the two people I would be interviewing with were "not like us".  At the time she said that I felt gratified that she already considered me part of her group context. When the woman who I hoped would become my boss and I spoke I asked her a question.  I asked if they had sent any other candidates for this position up to corporate offices.  She admitted that they had, but that those people had not had my experience with inpatient or running a building that had a union in it.

The flight to the corporate offices was only a couple of hours.  I had my first experience using a taxi to get myself to the interview.  The interview was not comfortable.  I didn't get any vibes like they loved me but these two women were the type that were not easy to read.  Two days later the regional HR called me and said that she was so sorry, she could not offer me the job.  I felt so sad. I'd really wanted that job and all the doors had seemed to be opening.

Exactly one week had passed since I'd contacted my old boss. I texted her.  She texted me back.  She'd already put a new plan into place. The program director at the site wanted to do an administrator-in-training gig so he could sit for the state and federal tests to obtain his license.  The administrator from another building within an hour of that one would hang her license there and preceptor him in the program.  He'd learn to be the administrator there and when he was all done he'd become their administrator.  I actually believe it is a good plan.  That man had worked there for 12 years and had a life long commitment to the location. He's young and has a wife and 2 small children.  This is good for him and the building.

Now I went within 2 weeks from a certainty that I would have one good job or another, to no new job. Wow

I'm perplexed.  I don't think I did anything wrong.  It feels like I have bad outcomes.  This is one of those times when I have to choose to believe the truth - that my life is in God's hands and obedience to Him is what matters most.  I trust God.  I know He has good plans for me.  I have no idea why this all happened but I can choose peace and happiness knowing that He is in control.

Unexpected encounter

Things that happen in life never cease to amaze me

Photo from Aging Care

Several years back I was fired from a job.  I'd worked for that company for 7 years and then quit because I re-married and moved from the site location.  A few months later they'd asked me to help them out on an interim basis and I did for a few months.  Then a few months later they'd asked me to become the administrator at a location that was within 45 minutes of my new location.  One year later I was fired from that location.  It broke my heart. I'd never been fired before.  It hurt a lot.  I had to work hard to get past that and live in forgiveness and just let it go.

This week the woman who'd been my boss at that job, the one who'd fired me, contacted me. She wrote on my most recent facebook post that she'd sent me her home and cell numbers via a message on LinkedIn.  I called her.  The man who'd taken over for me when I quit due to moving had handed in his resignation.  He'd been at that location for close to 8 years.  The location staff were of course upset.  When she'd asked them who the administrator was before him, they'd named me.  When she asked the 3 department directors who'd been there since then if they wanted me back, they'd said yes.  So she wanted to talk with me about going back to work there.

It seems strange to me that someone would fire me and then call me up and want to hire me again.  Back when I was fired I didn't think I deserved it.  Afterward I looked at my performance and found ways I could have improved, but I was still a good administrator.  We were meeting budget and didn't have any problems with regulatory agencies. Patients were fine. None of the patients' families had any complaints. The problem was that the resource RN on my boss' consulting team didn't like me.  If I'm honest, I didn't have a very high opinion of that RN.  She didn't seem very professional, helpful or hard working. But she was both professional and work friends with my boss.

That RN is still on the consulting team (not to be mean but I don't think a person such as her could get a better job).

I'm meeting with my former boss this coming Friday at the Starbucks down the street from her home.  I'm praying about the meeting.  I'm seeking God's direction.

That facility is an administrator's dream in many ways.  It's a five star facility. The same administrator has been there for the past 8 years - a rare occurrence in our industry. I always loved that program.

I don't live anywhere near that facility.   The job would pay a lot and John is willing to buy a house together in that area.  It's a super expensive area but I could always buy a place, work there 10 years, and make money from selling the home.  It's an area where houses continue to increase in value.  But that RN is still there.  Perhaps I could be wise and avoid her. 

At least I feel validated by her wanting to talk to me about working for her again.

The Big Picture

My niece and I had been trading off accompanying my sister to watch over my mom. On Thursday

Photo from America Explained

I left out the door and then came back to say goodbye to my mom.  It didn't even seem like she knew I was there; which may have been due to the morphine I'd been giving her as frequently as the physician's orders would allow.  I'd stopped by the store enroute to home; the entire trip from my mom's house takes a bit over an hour.  When I was almost home my niece called and told me that mom had just passed.  

All I could feel was gratitude.  In the early morning hours, when I'd watched my mom's body struggling for each breath she took, I'd prayed asking God to just let her go in peace.  I'd said that it was all too much, she shouldn't have it so hard.  So then, to hear she'd passed, was a relief.  I'm encouraged to know that the 1 Corinthians 5:8 assures me that those of faith are present with God when they leave these bodies behind.

I was talking with John today about how  I grateful I am for these past few months because I've been able to spend more time with mom.  I'd bring food over to her house and cook a meal that we'd share together. We'd hang out and visit.  She was still relatively healthy, and totally lucid, until the very end.  I'm so grateful that I had that time.  If I'd been working I would not have been able to spend as much time with her.  It's interesting because of course I'd been deeply disturbed when I was let go at my job.  In the ensuing months I'd applied for numerous jobs.  I'd interviewed for 4 specific jobs that I could really see myself in, knew I was qualified for, and felt I did well during the interview - but never got the job.

Looking at it now, I'm just grateful for the time I've had.  Time to be with hear when things were good.  Time with her during her last days.  There was one night during those hospice days at home that stands out in my mind.  She'd taken my hand and kissed it.  At that point she was lucid but extremely difficult to understand when she talked to us. I was surprised and touched when she did that because it was not something my mom would do.

You just never know what God's got planned.  I can only see what's right in front of me, but God's got the big picture.

Only God

I've not posted in a long time because I've been writing, writing, and writing some more for school.

But I just had to share about how God blessed me!

I've shared here about all the tribulations I've been through with my jobs.  Since 2009 when the economy tanked, I've been underemployed and making around 60% of what I used to make.  I've tried to seize opportunities where I've been working to make a difference. I've sought to be a person of gratitude.  Sometimes, by God's grace, I've been successful in these two endeavors.

Recently this is what God did:

• I was not seeking a job or applying for work or even talking about getting another job.
• The Clinical Director of a small management company with whom I used to work contacted me.
• We scheduled an interview on a  Friday that she had to cancel.  We rescheduled for the next Tuesday and I was going to leave work, drive out to Victorville (close to a 50 mile trip), and then go back to work and make up the time.
• I prepared.  I researched the facility, got together an outfit, got a sharp looking notebook to bring in to the interview, read up on tips for effective interviewing.
• Monday DPH showed up at a building where I am training the new administrator for their annual re-certification survey so I called the clinical director on Monday and explained and asked to re-schedule.  She said yes we'd do it the next week.
• Tuesday I arrived at work at a home in Riverside at 6:30AM which meant I left home at 5:30AM.  I'd arrived home from work the prior day at 9:30PM.  I left the house with wet hair.  It was a hot day, my jacket was wrinkled, I had on sandals and looked rather dreadful.
• The clinical director called me and said herself and the company owner would drive to where I was at and could I just meet with them for 10 minutes.  I felt I had to say yes so I gave her the address of a Starbucks nearby.
• They arrived around 4PM, after DPH had left for the day.
• I talked with them for around an hour.  Instead of it being a typical interview they told me all about the job and the kind of person they wanted and what they expected of that person.  I asked a ton of questions -but not the interview type - just sincere questions in response to what I heard. My deficits from not having ran a geriatric building were out in the open.  I think that I presented myself as exactly who I am-none of the make-yourself-look-good stuff that the literature suggests  you do in interviews.
  
• The owner asked if I had any more questions and I said no.  No one seemed to be ending the interview so I thanked them for their time and I had to go back to work.  I told the clinical director I'd call her.
• 5 minutes after I got back to work the clinical director called me. She asked me how much I wanted for salary and when I could start.  I always hate that question about how much I want so I named a number.  She said no don't ask for that and said a number $10K higher.  She talked with the owner and came back with a salary $5K higher than I'd originally named.  The owner had also included a bonus of $1K per quarter for any quarter in which there are 50 or more medicaid patients (they are currently running in the low 30s) every day of the month.  

I did not make this happen in any way.  Only God could have made this happen.  By the way there are only 3 nursing homes in the high desert area and this one is a 5-star facility.  I am grateful.

At least it was better this time!

For those of you who've borne with me in my rants about losing a job and let me drone on about the trials of job interviewing - THANKS!

And so the saga continues....

The last time I talked with my oldest son on the phone, he'd asked about my job interviewing experiences. When I told him about the last fiasco (the one where the CEO I'd driven two hours to meet with walked out during the interview) he asked me questions that caused me to think. He asked why I was interviewing for geriatric nursing home administrator positions when, in the entire time I've had this nursing home administrator's license, I've never worked in a geriatric setting. I stumbled as I replied; speaking of how noble it was to provide care for the elderly and what a wonderful ministry. Then I honestly explained that I need a good paying job and that could be one. I also sheepishly admitted to him that I have no idea why, but that, if I'm really candid, while I find working with the elderly to be admirable, what really does it for me is working with psych patients, or substance abusers, or criminals. But then I asked - what does this say about me, as I laughed. To which my son replied - that it's a vocation for you.

I thought about that and realized he was right. Working with those populations is where my heart is at. So I prayed about it some more and went back through all my avenues of job searching again. I again came to a position for a health services administrator with a private company that sub-contracts with the state and federal government to provide correctional type facilities; it was at a relatively close (when you live in a small, mountain resort, town anything within 50 miles is considered local. Especially if you don't have to drive all the way down the mountain) location. I applied for this job a while back, but I sent them my resume, with a cover letter that I spent some more time on, again.

Within a week I heard from a man named Ted who's the regional director for this company's health services operations in the western US. He asked me to come over to a local hotel where the company was interviewing people and meet with him. This interview wasn't at all like my recent experiences, this guy was a type B personality just like me. I was relaxed and asked him all kinds of questions about the position. We just talked. He didn't feel like he had some set agenda and I felt like I could just be myself and find out about the job and discover if it was something I wanted to do. I didn't feel like I had to sell myself (something I can't stand about the typical job interview). When we were finished he gave me a very lengthy application and explained that, since this new location that they are opening is sub-contracted with the federal immigration department, all applicants have to complete the federal application.

This was on a Thursday, and Ted said to take the application home, that he would be back at the hotel doing more interviews the following Tuesday-Thursday and, if I wanted I could give him and call and he'd sit down and go through my application with me. I thought that was so considerate and helpful of him.

The application turned out to be a real pain so I was grateful of his offer. Plus I figured that more face time with him would be a good thing. So Monday evening I called Ted and we set up to meet Tuesday (which was yesterday). We went through my application and he didn't have anything that he thought I needed to fix. When we finished he told me that I'm his first choice for this position so far but that he did have a few more interviews to complete. Then Ted said he wanted me to meet with the warden of the facility since he would be my actual boss in terms of day to day life. I said I'd like that too so he called me back yesterday and invited me to meet at the actual facility this morning with himself and the warden.

Well, when I go to the facility there was another man there as well, another applicant for the same position. I thought to myself - oh no, not this again (that last time, when the CEO walked out on me, the operations manager I'd been interviewing with told me that I was his favorite but the lady who would've been my boss liked another candidate best. It was such a NOT fun situation). My "competition" had not been interviewed yet by Ted. The competition looked sharp and had corrections experience (I don't have corrections experience). But, as I waited while Ted and my "competition" interviewed, I didn't get anxious. I just figured - if this is where God wants me, I'll get the job. If not, then I don't want to be here anyway. So the warden finally finished giving a tour to some judges who wanted to see the facility and my competition and I were introduced to him. Then the warden, Ted and I sat down and talked (followed by the warden, Ted, and the competition having a private chat). The warden made me more nervous than Ted, but he's a good guy. Ted was going to give the competition and I a tour of the facility after we'd each met with the warden and the warden asked Ted, so when are you going to let them know who gets the job? Then he turns to both of us and says how we're both good people and the hardest part of the whole interview process is the not knowing, and that it's better to know as soon as possible if you don't get a job because then you can just move on. I appreciated his considerate attitude.

So Ted took us on the tour and then my competition and I awkwardly said our good byes. Within 10 minutes of being on the road Ted called me and said I'm still his top candidate. So I said great and how much I appreciate him letting me know right away. Then I asked - what does this mean? Do I have the job? He said it's not a formal offer yet and that he wants me to meet with the immigration department HR people and go over my application. We discussed times that I could make such a meeting and then he said he'd talk to the HR folks and get back to me. Ted called me back later and gave me a time to meet with a representative from the Immigration department HR, at that same local hotel tomorrow.

So we'll see what happens.

Vent, Grumble, and Ramble

So I'm here ranting about interviewing again today. As mentioned previously, writing helps me process my thoughts and feelings.

In a prior post I talked about the first two interviews for this job. Since then I had an approximately 20 minute phone interview with the boss of the lady who would be my boss; his name is Kevin and her's is Sheila. Kevin scheduled me for another interview in person with himself, Sheila, their corporate HR person, and the DON at the facility where I would be working should I get the job. Near the end of that interview this past Wednesday, Kevin mentioned that he may ask me to come down to their corporate offices in downtown LA on Friday. After 5PM yesterday (Thursday) Sheila called me and left a message about going to LA on Friday; when I called her back she sounded in a hurry but she did tell me the address in LA and that I'd be meeting with the CEO, Mr. F.

My experience in LA today has left a bad taste in my mouth.

It all started out fine, I made the long trek into downtown LA, found parking, and made it into the company's building. But then when I told the receptionist that I was there for an 11:30 apt with Mr. F., he said there were 3 Mr. F.s (why didn't Sheila mention which one?) The receptionist proved competent and called around and found out who I should meet with, but told me that they were in with another applicant and could I please wait. I waited close to 20 minutes. Then the receptionist got a call to send me down and I walked to the next floor down, located the suite, and was met by a young woman who led me into an office. To my surprise Kevin was sitting at the desk in the office, but then I noticed another man who was standing to the side and wearing a yamaka. Apparently he'd politely stood up when I entered the office; Kevin introduced him as Mr. F.

We all sat down and then Kevin began to ask me the same questions that he and I had already discussed. Since I assumed he was asking these questions for Mr. F. I mostly directed my responses to him. I made lots of eye contact and, although the man did not seem the type to ever be rude, he also did NOT engage with me. He looked totally uninterested. He honestly did not strike me as actively disliking me, just as not wanting to be there. After perhaps 15 minutes, when I looked at Kevin because he was speaking, Mr. F. stood up, politely told me that he had a meeting he needed to be at, and left. I was flabbergasted; I came at 11:30AM as scheduled, Mr. F. had been told where I lived (about a 2 hour drive away) and that I had come expressly to meet with him, and then got up and left during the meeting.

As soon as the door closed behind Mr. F. Kevin told me that now he could stop asking these questions, since he already knew the answers himself. I asked where Kevin and this Mr. F. fit into the company set up. Kevin explained that the company was family owned and run by three Mr. F.s; the 86 yr old father who was the CEO, and then the son I'd met who ran the 33 SNF and sub-acute facilities, and his brother who ran the assisted living and hospice facilities. Kevin said there were also two brother-in-laws employed in the business. (I was guessing that these were the 4 other men I'd observed as I waited who were wearing yamakas.) Kevin went on to say that the orignal plan was that, since they always had this meeting every Friday (apparently the one our Mr. F. had so abruptly rushed off to), each of the two final canidates for this position were to have gone to that meeting to meet with the 3 Mr. F.s and himself. But that the 86 year old Mr. F. didn't seem so well today, and was falling asleep during the meeting, so they changed the plan to Kevin and our Mr F. doing the interviewing in Kevin's office.

Kevin couldn't help but see how wrong this was of Mr. F. to have left as he did and so he told me that you know it was Friday, Sabbath would be starting soon (my understanding was that it didn't start until 6PM, but I kept quiet), Mr. F. was probably tired, and they always left early on Fridays so he most likely just wanted to get to that meeting and finish it and go home. He also commented on how people asked him why he'd work for a family run business instead of running his own but that he really did run the operations. Then, perhaps because he was feeling bad for me, or maybe because he just has inappropriate boundaries, Kevin told me that it was down to myself and another candidate and that the Mr. F. I'd just met always gets the last say. Especially since he wanted me for the job and Sheila wanted the other candidate. He went on to explain that typically Mr. F. would go with whatever he says but that it's up to him and he could surprise Kevin.

The whole series of events had me off balance. I felt uncomfortable with this revelation as well; I mean, if I got the job, Sheila would be my boss and how would I feel knowing I was not her favorite candidate. Also, even though I felt like Kevin and I clicked and he'd said some really nice things to me during our phone interview, I was thinking that his primary reasons for wanting me were that this facility is not too far from my home and he noticed that I worked for 10 years for my last company (in a field where lots of administrators stay 18 months at each job). So I think he correctly judged me to be a stable person in a world of flakes. Then there's the rude way Mr. F. just walked out on me; did I judge wrong and he really didn't like me, was he concerned over his father, is he a drone? I mean, what's going on?

Anyway, is it just me or does this situation with how Mr. F. walked out on me, and Kevin told me about he and Sheila's disagreement over myself, seem like a crummy way to do business? Am I being overly sensitive, or am I justified in feeling disgruntled? Should I even want to work for them after that? Granted, even if I get offered the job and take it, I'll most likely never see the Mr. F.s again. I'll probably only see Kevin once a month at a regional meeting and Sheila twice a month at most. That's part of why I understand them wanting so many interviews in different settings; because if they hire me I'll be on my own running their business for them in that location. What do you think?

The agony of Interviewing

Before you read another word you need to know that this is a post for me to process. I'll most likely ramble and vent.

I'm tired of interviewing for jobs!

Interviewing sucks!

I've never been much of a self salesperson. I basically try to just give the interviewer and accurate picture of who I am, strengths and weaknesses. I figure that then they know exactly who they will be getting if they hire me, and they will never be disappointed.

I will grudgingly admit that I learn something from each interview. So in that sense I was OK with yesterday's interview; I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. But the set up had me off balance; it was my second interview for this job and it was with the boss of the first interviewer, who was the director of operations. I didn't really catch her boss' name or position. The interview was in a coffee house and between the music being piped in over head (I think it was right above my chair) and the noise of the place, it was a bit difficult for me to hear clearly and to fully focus.

He was on the phone when I came in because, apparently my predecessor had a short interview so he'd made some calls while waiting for me. He caught my attention, I wasn't looking at him since I didn't want to seem like I was listening in, and made an apologetic gesture to which I made the oh-it's-all-right sign back (although this was not any where close to the location I was applying for and a long drive for me to get there and find the place. But that's what you get with these management companies that manage facilities in the greater, and I mean much greater, LA area). My problem is that, although I have the required state license to be a nursing home administrator, I've only ever ran psychiatric facilities, so I'm really weak on the AR side. He started out the interview by bringing this up and I didn't try to tell him any different. By the end of the interview he told me that it was obvious I could do the job, that he just needed to figure out if I was their best applicant for the position.

My friend told me when I talked with her about the interview as I drove home (a long drive home) that perhaps that was my opportunity to state why I'm the best. But I didn't, I basically just made some sort of gesture that indicated that yep that's what he needed to do. I'm just not gonna try to sell me; I'm really good at what I do, I'm conscientious and hardworking, have integrity, and am all heart for the patients, staff, and families. I figure that either he picks up on that through our conversation or he doesn't, it's really not something you can tell someone.

Today I'm just mulling over how difficult and intrinsically disgruntling the whole interviewing process can be. I mean, I am happy at my current job because I enjoy the clients, super like my boss and her boss, and like the people with whom I work. I'm trying to keep it positive there and do my very best. Yet...the bottom line is that I'm over qualified, can do more, and it pays really low compared to what I've made for the past ten years. Interviewing makes it difficult to stay focused where I'm at and to consistently choose to dwell on the good things about the job and be creative and do more where I'm at. Yet if I don't keep trying for a better job I feel like I'm not being true to myself.

OK, so I'm being a whiner. I know it. I don't like to whine in my daily life so I'm here doing it.

This isn't a terrible interview story but I've certainly got some from this past year. What about you, do you have any awful interview stories?