Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time

This line caught my attention as I was reading the second chapter in James out of the Message paraphrase. Here's James 2:8-13 (I've linked to several versions) so you can catch the context:

You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: "Love others as you love yourself." But if you play up to these so-called important people, you go against the Rule and stand convicted by it. You can't pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God's law and ignoring others. The same God who said, "Don't commit adultery," also said, "Don't murder." If you don't commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you're a murderer, period.

Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the Rule that sets us free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.

As I look at this passage in a few versions, I'm impressed that God will treat me as I'm treating others. So for the last couple of days I've been thinking about what kind mercy looks like contrasted with harsh judgment in my daily life.

Sometimes I can get results oriented to the point where I just want to point out the problem and have someone fix it. Be it my sons, spouse, employees or whoever. Sometimes I don't want to take the time to see where the person I want to "fix it" is coming from, or to just open up a dialogue and see what's going on with them. I can be harsh; there's a problem where these people are not meeting up to what I feel is expected/needed and they need to adjust, work harder - in short, "fix it". Repeatedly in life I've seen that when I become more concerned about the person than getting the results I want, that the relationship is enhanced and we're able to more effectively work together to get to those results. It's just that I don't even think this way at all unless I'm plugged into God and His mercy.

I think these words from scripture are great for community life, especially in the church. If we are more merciful with each other and outsiders, it is more effective than harsh judgment. It breaks my heart to hear people pass judgment on someone in church when they are messing up, rather than reaching out a hand to help them out of their problems. I'm uncomfortable when I hear someone criticizing the church if I don't see that person being a loving part of the church, working to make things better (and whenever I'm part of any group, the church included, I need to live in mercy because people are always going to disappointment me because people are not perfect). I struggle with the balance between pointing out the truth when something is wrong, and being merciful. If something is harmful I need to be honest about it so that can be fixed; but how I go about being honest makes a real difference.

Do you ever struggle with being honest but not harsh? Is giving kind mercy easy for you? What helps you extend kind mercy?

Did the New Life Children's Refuge do anything wrong?

I've been hearing a lot about the 10 missionaries from an Idaho-based ministry "New Life Children's Refuge" (NLCR) who have been in jail in Haiti since their arrest.

The suspects were detained at Malpasse, Haiti’s main border crossing with the Dominican Republic, after Haitian police conducted a routine search of their vehicle. Authorities report that the Americans had no documents to prove they had cleared the adoption of the 33 children - aged 2 months to 12 years - though any embassy and no papers showing these children to be orphans.

The group has a Haitian lawyer, Edwin Coq, who says that the judge found sufficient evidence to file charges against the Americans. Coq said that under Haiti's legal system, there won't be an open trial, but a judge will consider the evidence. It could take the judge three months to render a verdict. Each of the kidnapping counts carries a possible sentence of five to 15 years in prison.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called the case "unfortunate." "The Haitian nation acted to protect children who were being removed from their country without appropriate documentation," she said. "It was unfortunate that, whatever the motivation, this group of Americans took matters into their own hands."

Yves Cristalin, Haiti's social affairs minister, explains that "No children can leave Haiti without proper authorization and these people did not have that authorization."

NLCR was founded by Laura Silsby, 40, and Charisa Coulter, 23, who are both members of the Central Valley Baptist Church in Meridian, Idaho. This Baptist church is part of the Southern Baptist Convention, but these women did not go through the denomination to form their charity and instead independently formed the group. Laura Silsby incorporated NLCR in Idaho this past November, and says that it is "dedicated to rescuing, loving and caring for orphaned, abandoned and impoverished Haitian and Dominican children, demonstrating God's love and helping each child find healing, hope, joy and new life in Christ". NLCR had planned to buy land and build an orphanage, school and church in Magante on the northern coast of the Dominican Republic.

After the earthquakes, the NLCR's aim became to "rescue Haitian orphans abandoned on the streets, makeshift hospitals or from collapsed orphanages in Port-au-Prince and surrounding areas, and bring them to New Life Children's Refuge in Cabarete, Dominican Republic". The written plan involves an interim plan of leasing a 45 room hotel and converting it into an orphanage until the building of the NLCR is complete. I've read that Silsby says NLCR was working with Haitian pastor Jean Sanbil of the Sharing Jesus Ministries, who already had an orphanage in Haiti that was severely damaged during the earthquakes. I have not been able to verify any information about Jean Sanbil or Sharing Jesus Ministries.

One of the issues here is that the Haitian government has suspended adoptions amid fears that parentless or lost children are more vulnerable than ever to human trafficking. Without proper documents and concerted efforts to track down their parents, they could be forever separated from family members able and willing to care for them. Prime Minister Max Bellerive's personal authorization is now required for the departure of any child from Haiti without his parents. Max Bellerive told The Associated Press Sunday he was outraged by the group's "illegal trafficking of children" in a country long afflicted by the scourge and by foreign meddling.

The harsh reality is that in this desperately poor country — especially after the catastrophic Jan. 12 quake — some parents openly attest to their willingness to part with their children if it will mean a better life. Several AP news interviews have shown many Haitians to have this sentiment. I read the following in one such interview:

"Some parents I know have already given their children to foreigners," Adonis Helman, 44. "I've been thinking how I will choose which one I may give — probably my youngest."

Another issue is that Christian missionaries are not necessarily seen as good in Haiti. Two-thirds of Haiti's 9 million are said to practice Voodoo, a melange of beliefs from parts of west Africa and Catholicism; voodoo is widely practiced and deeply ingrained in the culture. Max Beauvior, a leader of Haiti's vodoo priests, had this to say about Christian missionaries:

"They are very arrogant, I have seen those missionaries coming here, supposedly sent by Jesus to save us. From what? I don't know. That is what they say, and I believe that is wrong. We don't need that kind of savior."

I watched this interesting video showing what these missionaries are saying from jail:



When I read all the information, I see so many ways it could be looked at and interpreted. Personally I lean toward thinking these missionaries were naive and would have better served the people they wanted to help by working with, and through, their denomination or some other larger group that is knowledgeable of the laws and inner working of Haiti. I don't see them as out to make money off these children or participating in human trafficking. I hate to think that they would end up spending years in prison in Haiti.

What do you think? Are these people with the NLCR well meaning people trying to help children in a devastated country? Do you think they are they human traffickers? Do you think they were well intentioned but ignorant? Do you think they should have to serve jail sentences in a Haitian prison?

Can we be set apart for God and in the world at the same time?

Right now I'm trying to hear God about a job for which I've been interviewing. My specific situation has got me to thinking about the age old Christian issue about how much should we be in the world.

I have not been offered the job, but I'm trying to decide for sure if I even want it so that I'll know what to do if I am offered the position. My problem is that, this business does some things that are legal, socially accepted, common practices, but with which I have issues because of how I look at things since I'm a Christian.

My husband John has an interesting take on it. He's worked in the public school arena for 35 years and really thinks Christians need to be out in the world making a difference. He talks passionately about how if we pull out of everything that is secular (which frequently most secular institutions will do some things that as Christians we do not agree with) - how are people to see the gospel? He quoted the following scripture from 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 (I'm printing it in the Message paraphrase but linked it to several translations side by side):

In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life. But those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse.

This is a terrific responsibility. Is anyone competent to take it on? No— but at least we don't take God's Word, water it down, and then take it to the streets to sell it cheap. We stand in Christ's presence when we speak; God looks us in the face. We get what we say straight from God and say it as honestly as we can.

As I read this scripture, I find myself asking if the world needs Christians so that they can experience God's presence through them, does this mean that sometimes it is God's will for Christians to be places where everything being done is not godly? I also find myself wondering if I always need to actually speak the truth out loud against things that I believe are wrong?

John's point about this scripture is that he thinks just being a Christian and having the Holy Spirit within you makes a difference to that location. I know this is true; I had one experience with this that is still vivid for me. Once when I was running a facility in west LA, we were in the midst of an annual survey with the department of public health; I had one of the surveyors pull me aside and tell me that she sensed the presence of Christ in me and to never take that for granted, that He could bring light into that dark place through His presence in me. I remember feeling like God spoke to me through that woman and I would get to work early every morning and just walk about the place, silently praying for the staff, patients and issues of the day.

Recently I was re-reading the story of when the nation of Israel came back into the promised land and Rehab's role in this. I can't help but think that those Jewish spies who came back to check out the land and met Rehab were surprised that God was using a harlot to help them, harlots were unclean people who were choosing to live in a lifestyle of undeniable sin. Normally they would not even let themselves be around such a sinner. But God used Rehab and she is even in the lineage of Jesus - my point being that God doesn't always work in ways that agree with our religious cultural morality.

Christians talk a lot about being set apart, holy, so God can use them and not wanting to be corrupted by the world. But does that mean we are not be around the world? And if we're around the world, how much around it is OK? I want to live a life that is every day, in every way, pleasing to God. I lean toward thinking that these issues are very individual and that I must be open because God may not work in the Christian acceptable box that I may tend toward building.

The last part of this scripture clearly speaks to not watering down and compromising God's message, it's speaking about hearing from God what to say and being faithful to speak just that. But does this mean we always need to speak out? Or does it imply that when God directs us to speak, we make sure to say what He wants?

These are questions I'm pondering today and would be very interested in hearing your thoughts. I've put in bold the questions I'm asking myself and I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on these issues, or anything you care to say in general on this topic.

Terrific Tuesday with Debby from Heavenly Humor

Today's Terrific Tuesday guest is Debby who writes at Heavenly Humor. Debby is a wife, mother, and a young grandmother. She has a real flair for decorating and an all out love for Christ. I've enjoyed reading her blog because she has a down to reality, amusing voice.

Here's one of my favorite posts from Heavenly Humor:

TO FAST OR NOT TO FAST, THAT IS THE QUESTION

“After fasting forty days and forty nights, He (Jesus) was hungry.” (Matt 4:2)

Just thinking about going on a fast makes me hungry. It’s like my brain starts sending signals to my stomach…”All hands and forks on deck – the captain is walking the plank!” So my stomach responds by setting anchor at the next port, and stocking up on potato chips and snickers bars.

The longest fast God ever put me on was a liquid-only fast for seven days. Right around day five I caved. Every food group and by-product was calling my name, so I ate. The next morning upon awakening, I decided I was in need of French toast sticks. I figured since I already broke my fast the night before, I might as well eat.
Apparently God had different plans. As I lie there dreaming of breakfast, I suddenly had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I rolled over towards Mark, and I groaned “Oh, no!” “What’s wrong now?” Mark asked. (Note to self: don’t start whining before Mark has his coffee.) “I don’t think God will let me eat breakfast!” “Just go ahead and eat,” he said “problem solved. Now go back to sleep.”

I immediately headed downstairs, confident that I could eat, since Mark said it was okay. (And in case God should question me, I would answer “it was the man you gave me, he told me to eat!”) I put some French toast sticks on a pan, and put them in the oven. As I was waiting for the timer to go off, God started tapping me on the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. I tried reasoning with Him, and explained that I already broke my fast with last night’s pizza. He didn’t budge. I then reminded Him that wasting food is a sin. Still nothing. Finally I gave in. “Fine” I said “but don’t come along later with a big guilt trip about all the hungry kids in China when I throw my French toast sticks in the garbage!”

I made it the rest of the week without too much complaining. On the seventh night, our son Jordan was healed at a prayer service. I finally understood why God wanted me to fast the entire week, it was for a miracle. I was so impressed by the logistics of it, that I started fasting one day a week from then on. I didn’t fast for anything in particular, mostly for other people’s prayer requests. I really thought I had struck gold with this new discovery, and I was determined to stick with this fasting regiment for the rest of my life. But then I read what the Bible had to say about fasting.

Esther instructed Mordecai to gather the Jews to fast when Haman was bent on killing all of them (Esther 3, 4). The Israelites fasted and wore sackcloth as an act of repentance to the Lord (Nehemiah 9). David fasted in sackcloth and ashes to plead with the Lord to turn from his anger towards Jerusalem (Daniel 9).

And this was interesting: Jezebel called for a day of fasting to honor Naboth, but it was all a ploy to murder Naboth in order to obtain his vineyard (1 Kings 21). That particular fast was obviously not Spirit led, which taught me that we should be careful who we listen to when it comes to fasting.

Isaiah 58 paints a different picture of what God thinks of fasting. He said “Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your good with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?”

And in Matthew 9:14 when John’s disciples asked Jesus why His disciples didn’t fast, he said “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.” So I concluded that feeding the hungry was more important to God than just sitting at home with my stomach growling. And if Jesus said we should fast out of longing for the bridegroom, then I decided I would fast out of my longing for His presence, and not just because I want some physical answer to prayer. But then another question arose– how often and how long should I fast?

And then one day God answered my questions. Oh, this is good, are you ready? He said “There is no formula.” Aha! God didn’t want me to make a ceremony or ritual out of fasting; instead, it should be a matter of the heart, not of men’s rules and regulations. In a matter of seconds, I was in the kitchen pigging out on peanut butter.

Blessings,

Tightrope walking

I've never walked an actual tightrope.

Frequently I feel like parenting adolescents must feel a lot like walking a tightrope. One has to balance just right and there are dire consequences if you lean too much to either side. In this case the sides being control vrs freedom, speaking vrs remaining quiet, involvement vrs staying out of it.

I want my teen sons to have ever increasing freedom and to experience the natural consequences (good and bad alike) of their actions so that they can become competent decision-makers. I want to create an environment that supports independent thought on their part. It's just not always easy watching them make decisions that I think are poor and knowing how much I should say, or if I should say anything.

I've invested into my sons for years and am confident that they've been given a foundation of the Bible and following after Christ. I know that I've messed up a lot, but I've always been honest about it with them, and they've always seen me repent when I'm wrong and accept God's forgiveness and move on. They can't help but have observed God's continual blessings on my life. They hear me frequently speak words of gratitude for how He has, and is continuing to, bless me. Speaking about what the Bible says on various day to day living issues is a routine part of how we live, praying when things come up is as natural for us as breathing. So I know the foundation is here.

But did you know that scientists say that the brain is not fully developed until some time in the late teens or early twenties? I saw a documentary regarding this a while back and it explained how maturation of cerebral fibers in the frontal lobes typically occurs during one's early twenties. Guess what the functions of the frontal lobe involve - the ability to recognize future consequences resulting from current actions, to choose between good and bad actions (or better and best), override and suppress unacceptable social responses, and determine similarities and differences between things or events. So why are we surprised when teenagers sometimes do dumb stuff and when we ask them why they did it they can not really explain?!

Did I mention the incredible hyper-sensitivity of a teenager?! They can say all manner of unkind things toward parents, but oh my goodness, no one knows like the parent of a teen how just the smallest comment can bring about a volcanic response that leaves one stunned and wondering what did I say that brought this result? My 15 year old actually said the other day that he shouldn't have to be concerned about hurting his dad or I's feelings, that he should be able to speak freely. This was not said in the midst of some discussion we were having, but rather in more of a proclamation situation. I wryly commented that relationships always involve considering how what we say will affect the other person and that, for what it's worth, I think kindness is grossly under rated. To these great pearls, he responded by blowing me off - ha, having teens definitely keeps one humble! I have to remind myself that teens are in the midst of an onslaught of hormones. In fact I read an interesting article that explained about these hormones not only cause adolescents to reach a flash point more easily, but they also increase their desire for excitement and exciting activities.

So let's think about this for a moment; teens are going though a time when they are experiencing intense emotions, coupled with a strong desire for thrills and intense emotions, when they are also not fully competent in the judgment, delaying gratification, portions of their brain. Gee, it's no wonder I feel like I'm walking a tightrope as a parent of teen sons!

The bottom line is that I'm grateful I can always pray for my kids, and pray often.

How about you, do you have a teen son or daughter, does your relationship with him/her sometimes feel like you're walking a tightrope? Can you remember back when you were a teen, what was it like between you and your parents?

Scattered Thoughts on the State of the Union address

Last night my husband John and I, like most Americans, watched our President's State of the Union address. Like many others, I've been rethinking what I heard. I want to take some time to explore some of my thoughts.

I was surprised. I'd expected to watch and hear a change; instead President Obama seemed defensive.

Although he claimed he was "not interested in re-litigating the past" and repeatedly spoke about moving past partisan politics toward creating solutions together, he continued to blame Bush for everything .

But maybe I did hear some change, I was just surprised because it was not so much presented as change as what he'd been doing all along. I found myself questioning if I'd missed something during the past year. Because to me it has seemed as if our President has repeatedly throughout the past year promoted higher income, payroll, health-care, and inheritance taxes on “them,”. Then last night I heard President Obama suddenly declare that he believes that small business is the engine of growth, and will therefore get new tax cuts and credits. Either I misunderstood the past year, or he has made a turn about on this; and this is one change I can get behind.

I started to get so excited when President Obama started speaking about fiscal sobriety and spending freezes; I thought, see he does get it! But then my hopes plummeted the next moment to hear him declare that these measures would begin in 2011. We've already piled up the two largest budget deficits in U.S. history, are we going to pile up yet another year of trillion-dollar-plus red ink before we do anything to remedy the situation?!

Our President's comments about how Americans are now working harder for less made me think that one of the good things that has come out of the recession and losing jobs is that it has caused us to re-evaluate what is important. I think Americans today are perhaps realizing that stuff, buildings, and machines are not where happiness lies; perhaps not being able to invest so much in these is making us focus more on people and relationships. I hope so.

I did appreciate what our President had to say about expanding the number of high-quality charter schools, and rewarding teachers for excellent performance. I agree that more school choices for parents and students means more accountability and greater achievement. I agree that a child's educational opportunity should be determined by her intellect and work ethic, not by where the child lives.

The speech left me wondering what he meant by certain phrases. Such as his comments that he won't walk away from health care reform - but I didn't hear him offering anything new, or even discussing a plan to work toward real health care reform that the people can get behind. It sounded to me like he was sticking to his plan, that has been plainly rejected (A recent CNN poll shows that Americans either want Congress to start over entirely or drop the subject all together). He even stated something to the effect that you should take another look at our plans, and let me know if you have better ideas. I do appreciate some of the ideas concerning health care reform that Bob McDonnell threw out in his Republican State of the Union response: letting families and businesses buy health insurance policies across state lines, ending frivolous lawsuits against doctors and hospitals that drive up the cost of our health care, ensure that the legislation to reform health care does not include shifting Medicaid costs to the state while cutting Medicare, and the ever pervasive ideological difference - do not turn our medical care system over to the federal government.

What were some of your thoughts and responses to our President's state of the Union Address last night?

A lesson from Daniel

I've mentioned before that I learn a lot from my kids. Recently my youngest son Daniel, who is 15, has taught me some things worth pondering.

I've watched Daniel really struggle over the past couple of years with football. We live in a small town and football is a huge deal at the local high school. Daniel is on the team at the high school; but he doesn't do well. He works really hard; he even stays after practice and does extra running, working out and weight lifting to try to increase his ability. Because he tries so hard the coach does periodically give him chances, but he frequently messes up during those times. He's talked to me concerning this more than once. To make matters worse, his older brother who is just one grade ahead of him in school, is really good (of course this particular son happens to be 6'3" and 225lbs as a Jr in high school, so he's practically made to be a line man). All I've told Daniel is that I see such a spirit of faithfulness in him and that I think God honors that, and that I think this faithful, hardworking attitude will serve him well throughout his life. I never comment on the actual football part because I don't know much about football, he does seem to mess up, and the truth is that not everyone is good at every thing they try.

Daniel plays drums with the worship team in our small church. As part of a get-to-know-the-folks-up-here-on-the-stage-every-Sunday kind of thing, he was asked to give a testimony during church. What he shared both humbled and blessed me. It's also really had me thinking about those truths ever since he shared.

Daniel read the passage from Matthew 25:14-30 where Jesus told the parable of the talents. In a nutshell the parable is about a man who was going on a journey and gave 3 servants varying amounts of talents/money to watch while he was gone. When he returned he called the servants in to see how they had done with the money he left them. Two servants had invested and done well and they were rewarded, the servant who was given the least had done nothing with what he was given and he was punished. Daniel pointed out that not everyone was given the same amount of money to invest and that the man was most interested in what they did with what he gave them. Daniel shared about his struggles with football and then shared how the bottom line was that if God had wanted him to be the best at football he would have given him that talent but that obviously that was not God's plan for him. But that he believes God is very interested in how he uses whatever it is that he is given. He said he plays football because he thinks it's fun, and he's to the point where he chooses to do his best and just leave the rest up to God. Daniel talked about the fact that there most likely will always be people who are better at whatever it is that we each like to do, but that the talents other people have is not the really important issue. The really important issue is what we each do with what we are given.

Gee sometimes my 15yr old is smarter than me.

What Daniel shared has got me to think about, and look at, what I am doing with what God has given me. It's made me check to see if I'm using my meager talents in some areas as an excuse to not step out and serve others in these areas. There's one area in my community where there is a need and I was approached about serving in it a while back; but I turned the opportunity down because I had focused on my deficits. Recently I was approached again, but this time I'm stepping out in faith in that area simply because there is a need and I'm willing to serve. I'm choosing to rely on God's greatness instead of my giftedness.

What about you, do you ever let what you perceive to be your lack of talent keep you from serving? Do you ever refrain from participating in things that you think are fun just because you think you're not good enough at them?