Learning to ask for what I want

I don't have any problem asking for what I want at work when it's related to employees or running the business. I work hard at communicating clearly and concisely on these issues.

But when it comes to asking for myself, I'm uncomfortable.I don't feel good about myself when I do not stand up for myself.  I am not as effective if I don't take care of me.

August 15, 2015  marked my one year at this job.  August 14 was a Friday so I emailed my boss, and cc'd the owner, a self evaluation.  In my experience as an administrator for any company, my supervisors have never provided me with a job evaluation.  I don't know if it is because everyone is too busy, or that they may want to blame something on the administrator later if things go south and so they don't want anything good in writing.

For my self evaluation I listed what I believe have been my key contributions this year. Prior to that list, I pointed out that this list was accomplished by our team at this facility working together. Then I listed areas where we still need to improve.  I wrote a few short goals.  Lastly I wrote that I was petitioning for a 6% increase in pay and what, if this is granted, my new annual salary would be.

Even if I do not get the raise I'm asking for, or any other raise, I still feel good about myself.  I feel good about the work I've done and the things we've accomplished at this facility. I feel good that I clearly and succinctly asked for what I want. If the owner ignores me, or chooses not to give me a raise, I will continue to work hard as unto the Lord.   If I do not receive a raise, I will pray for God to bless me with another job where I will be respected and valued.  I would start keeping my eyes open and applying.

The day after that email my boss emailed me that she appreciates my work and is asking the owner to give me the raise.  I emailed her back how much that means to me.  I let her know that, whatever happens in terms of money, I want her to know that it means a lot to me to know that my work is valued. When I spoke with my boss this week about another matter, she brought up the raise and told me that she's hoping this next week to get the owner to give me the raise.

I really love my boss.  She's a sister in Christ, a wonderful person, and professionally brilliant. I feel that it's important however that the owner respect me.  He pays my DON more than anyone I've ever worked with closely and I know that he gave her a bonus for our incredible annual survey this year (even though I believe that I deserved as much credit for that survey as her). That bonus that he gave her is 5/6 of the amount I'm asking for as an increase.  I feel that if he does not give me the raise, it is an indication of his lack of respect for me as an administrator.

It's an interesting situation because it is not about comparing myself to the DON.  For me it is about asking for the respect that I know I deserve.  In order to be optimally successful in my position I need the respect and backing of my supervisor and the owner.