Amidst the work craziness

This morning I was blessed by these words from Proverbs 27:9 (HCSB):

Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.

Today has been a super challenging day at work.  At 6:30AM my cell phone rang with a phone call from work.  I've been running every since. Right now I decided to actually take a lunch break and use a moment to slow down and reflect.

Amidst all the challenges of the day I'm grateful that I am not alone.  God is always near me.  He's also given me some great people with whom I get to work.  I talked to my boss a few moments today about 2 pending lawsuits and horrible (and untrue)  newspaper articles about my facility. I'm grateful that she's my boss.  She's smart, she cares, and I feel like she understands me.  Our staff developer, director of rehab, dietary supervisor, medical records director and admissions director are awesome at their jobs. They are people with whom I can partner to fix things when it's needed.  The DON remains problematic, but she is smart and can be helpful sometimes.

Basically I'm just grateful to know that in the midst of all of this work craziness, I don't have to rely solely on my own counsel.  I've got God, His Word, my boss and these other people with whom I work.

I didn't get exactly what I asked for, but I'm still grateful

Photo from http://purpleinkllc.com/

Recently I wrote about how I felt good about myself because I asked for a raise.

Yesterday my boss was talking to me about something and let me know that my raise had been approved.  She asked me to complete the paperwork , scan it, email it to HR and cc the owner so that he wouldn't forget that he had agreed to it when it came time to sign off on it.  I received 79% of what I asked.

I am grateful that I received a raise.

This owner is very difficult to get to give people raises.  I've worked all year long very hard to pull out those few raises regarding which I was successful. I get the feeling that my boss really dragged it out of him.  I think he's foolish to come so close to giving me what I asked and not giving me it.  He does not realize, or perhaps not care, the message he sends.

I'm someone who runs his business.  I frequently have to use my own money because he is too new in business, growing too fast, and doesn't have the cash easily available.  When there's emergency repairs, it's my credit card that gets used.  Currently I'm out of pocket about $600 and it always takes around a month to get that money back (if I put through the paperwork right away and send a couple of reminders).

I'm sure grateful for the Word I read this morning:

"Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24 (HCSB) 

May I work enthusiastically today.  I am not doing a good job here for the owner, I'm doing it for God.

Oh Heavenly Father, may I work as unto You today.  May I notice the people who work for me.  May I be a voice of encouragement and support.  May I work together with my staff to make a positive difference in the lives of these patients.  Thank You for Your goodness dear God.

Learning to ask for what I want

I don't have any problem asking for what I want at work when it's related to employees or running the business. I work hard at communicating clearly and concisely on these issues.

But when it comes to asking for myself, I'm uncomfortable.I don't feel good about myself when I do not stand up for myself.  I am not as effective if I don't take care of me.

August 15, 2015  marked my one year at this job.  August 14 was a Friday so I emailed my boss, and cc'd the owner, a self evaluation.  In my experience as an administrator for any company, my supervisors have never provided me with a job evaluation.  I don't know if it is because everyone is too busy, or that they may want to blame something on the administrator later if things go south and so they don't want anything good in writing.

For my self evaluation I listed what I believe have been my key contributions this year. Prior to that list, I pointed out that this list was accomplished by our team at this facility working together. Then I listed areas where we still need to improve.  I wrote a few short goals.  Lastly I wrote that I was petitioning for a 6% increase in pay and what, if this is granted, my new annual salary would be.

Even if I do not get the raise I'm asking for, or any other raise, I still feel good about myself.  I feel good about the work I've done and the things we've accomplished at this facility. I feel good that I clearly and succinctly asked for what I want. If the owner ignores me, or chooses not to give me a raise, I will continue to work hard as unto the Lord.   If I do not receive a raise, I will pray for God to bless me with another job where I will be respected and valued.  I would start keeping my eyes open and applying.

The day after that email my boss emailed me that she appreciates my work and is asking the owner to give me the raise.  I emailed her back how much that means to me.  I let her know that, whatever happens in terms of money, I want her to know that it means a lot to me to know that my work is valued. When I spoke with my boss this week about another matter, she brought up the raise and told me that she's hoping this next week to get the owner to give me the raise.

I really love my boss.  She's a sister in Christ, a wonderful person, and professionally brilliant. I feel that it's important however that the owner respect me.  He pays my DON more than anyone I've ever worked with closely and I know that he gave her a bonus for our incredible annual survey this year (even though I believe that I deserved as much credit for that survey as her). That bonus that he gave her is 5/6 of the amount I'm asking for as an increase.  I feel that if he does not give me the raise, it is an indication of his lack of respect for me as an administrator.

It's an interesting situation because it is not about comparing myself to the DON.  For me it is about asking for the respect that I know I deserve.  In order to be optimally successful in my position I need the respect and backing of my supervisor and the owner.

You get what you ask for

Every since I started this job a year ago, I daily  pray for wisdom.

Recently I received some very specific wisdom as to a way to do my job better.

I'd been thinking about how I spend too much time in my office and not enough time out on the unit. Although I walk through the building a few times each day, I feel like I'm not integrated enough with what's really going on. I have a lot of paper/computer work that needs to be completed.

Yesterday morning as I was waking up the thought came to me that I need to take my lap top and sit out at the nursing station and complete paperwork. I can't easily get internet connectivity at the nursing stations, but I can work on documents on the computer. Yesterday I spent about an hour and a half at station 3 and today I spent about an hour at station 2.  It's a good idea. I'm just sitting there doing my work, but the line staff are seeing me.  I'm overhearing things that are going on.  I find myself questioning why I didn't think of this before, but it just never occurred to me.

I'm grateful for the idea.

The silver lining

Photo from The Hollywood Republican

I have a love-hate relationship with my job.

I love many of the people with whom I work.  They genuinely care for the patients.  They're smart and go above and beyond.  They have that same dark humor that makes us all laugh at terrible things.  It is never boring because there's always some new drama going on with the patients or staff. I have lots of autonomy. I feel like I can make a difference. The drive to work is a stress free 40 minutes - none of the all too common congested freeway traffic common to southern California.

It's a bummer when family members are mean and unreasonable.  I hate it when my DON lies and manipulates. Or when she engages in behaviors that make me think about the fact that it's my license on the wall and it's me who will ultimately face the consequences. I hate that money is often such a stress because the owner doesn't reimburse petty cash quickly. We can't get credit accounts so we do much of our business on a cash basis. I frequently have to go into my pocket or use my credit card and then a month or two later I'll get paid back.

Lately I've been spending time reflecting on these verses:

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Philippians 2:14-15a (NIV)

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

I pray that God would do for me what I can not do for myself.  That He would put a guard on my lips and let me a positive light that reflects His glory in my work place.  I remind myself to focus on those things that are good where I work.  I look for things at my work that I can specifically petition God regarding.  I want to see Him work and change things here.

When I look back over the past year that I've worked here, I can see many positive changes that have been made. I may not get everything I want here, but I've sure got a lot of good things.

Is it a sin to be fat?

Last Sunday the pastor was teaching out of Matthew 4:1-11.  This sermon was part of series of sermons he has been preaching on overcoming temptation.  In last Sunday's sermon he took a closer look at each of the areas in which Jesus was tempted. The pastor categorized these temptations as food, presumption, & pride.

When he spoke about food the pastor talked about the number 1 health problem in the U.S. being obesity.  He talked about how we look to food for comfort and all struggle with this temptation. He showed how Jesus spoke of His relationship to God and His Word being more important than food.  He showed his struggle by these 2 examples: 1-He adores McDonald's french fries and thinks no one makes fries as good as them.  He said he'd love to go buy french fries and have them with a vanilla shake; nothing could be better.  But he doesn't because that's not good for him. 2-He may go to a buffet and he likes all the food there and wants to eat all the food, but he can only eat a little, because it's not good for him to eat everything.

I felt very guilty during the sermon since I'm significantly overweight.

Since that sermon I've been thinking on what the pastor said and I have mixed feelings.  I have a bunch of thoughts and feelings regarding this topic.  I want to unpack these thoughts and feelings so I can really see them, and hopefully achieve some clarity on this issue:

* The Pastor's right and any time I eat more than my body actually needs it is a sin.  I must be fat because I sin.

* I feel less-than, not good enough, because I have this struggle.

* All sin is forgivable.  But what about if we keep sinning? How hard do I try to overcome this specific temptation? I have an incredibly demanding and emotionally exhausting job and am so tired at the end of the day.  I know I need exercise but typically don't.  Sometimes I just eat food that is easy and not necessarily the most healthy.  I eat more than I absolutely need due to taste gratification, comfort, and habit.

* We all sin.  Although in the Matthew 4 account Jesus had been fasting and Satan tempted him with food, many Bible teachers generalize it to any gratification of the flesh. Gratifications of the flesh include food, sex, pain relief with excessive medication, excessive spending on beautiful things - things that involve the senses.

* We all sin. We all have specific sins that are more tempting for us; sins with which we struggle to refrain from regularly. Our common culture as well as our church culture focuses on some and not other sins.


* One type of sin would be the excess issue.  There are things that are good and right in and of themselves, in the right context and quantity; but are unhealthy and sinful if engaged in to excess or in the wrong context.  Things in this category would be: food, sex, shopping, alcohol consumption, etc.

* Some of us struggle with some things that can be done in excess and don't have too much trouble with others.  If you don't struggle in a particular area, for example shopping/spending, it's easy to be critical of others who struggle in that area.

* I feel like food and weight are not really issues for our pastor so it's easy to focus on those sins.  I see him struggle with judgmental-ism, temper, and impatience.  If I'm 100% honest, a part of me feels like - so he's focusing on food but not those things.  Yet, the Word is the Word and Truth is Truth - it is there in God's Word and He's teaching it. The fact that I know he struggles with those things is partly because he's open about who he is (and partly because I'm observant about people).

* I feel frustrated, and maybe if I'm entirely honest with myself, angry. Angry that the sin I struggle with is impossible to hide.  My body shows my sin for all to see. Whereas some sins not everybody has to know the moment they meet you.

* I'm thinking how Psalm 139:13-16 depicts that God knew who he was creating when I was in my mother's womb.  That he had a specific design when He was forming me.  Because Scripture also teaches that God knows everything (Isaiah 46:9-10, Psalm 139:1-3, 1 John 3:20, Romans 11:33, Hebrews 4:13), I take it to then mean that God knew that I'd be predisposed to weight gain as well as unhealthy food use.

* The reason something is a sin is because it's not what God wants for us.  He loves us and only wants our best. Hebrews 12:1-3 talks about getting rid of sin in our lives so we can run the race God has for us.  I believe that each of us has a specific, unique, race or path that God has for us.  The Bible is saying to get rid of the sin so we can experience more success on our journey.

* The pastor's motives, thoughts, or possible inadequacy are not relevant.  My attitude toward God, my submission to Him above EVERYTHING else is.

God is enough

Lately I've been trying to start my day off right.

The moment I decide to get out of bed I've been making myself talk aloud to God and thank Him for another day. Thank Him for His goodness and blessing that by faith I believe I will experience in the coming day. Then I make sure to take just a few moments to pray and reflect a bit on some Bible verses.  Lately I've been utilizing Proverbs 31 devotionals.  This morning the devotion was from Luke 2:1-4 & 2 Corinthians 12:9.  The devotional author talked about how sometimes you feel like you're not enough. How when you give everything that you have to God, He uses His strength and power to make us all we need to be.

Little did I realize this morning how relevant these thoughts would be to my day.

When I first arrived at work today I was bombarded with a newspaper article. The local newspaper carried a negative article on part of the front page about our facility.  The same article is posted on facebook. On the facebook article there are more than 50 terrible comments (several of them posted by former employees who had been separated from their jobs).

The news article is not accurate.  The comments all basically say how terrible we are and how bad facility management is.  The truth is that since I came to this facility almost a year ago, by God's grace and goodness, many positive changes have been made. We have many caring and competent employees who go above and beyond to take excellent care of patients.  Things are not yet where I want them to be; sometimes we have employees who do not utilize good common sense, who are lazy, or who have poor customer service skills. Sometimes our communication regarding patients is dis-jointed.

We've all worked so hard.  I want to do such a good job.  It breaks my heart to read all these terrible things in the newspaper.  Things are not where I want them to be yet; but things are not as the article makes it seem.  I felt so inadequate today.  Like I'm not good enough.

Then I remember -of course I'm not good enough!  But God is enough, and I pray that His wisdom, strength, and ability would be manifest in me at my job so that this facility would become increasingly wonderful.

A little thing can be a big blessing

As I was driving to work this morning I was listening to an audio book You can you will: 8 undeniable qualities of a winner.  As the author spoke about the 8th quality, serving others, I felt impressed.  I was praying that I would be more constructively positive and encouraging to the people with whom I work today.

Interestingly enough, it was me who ended up receiving encouragement today.

We have a really good employee who had to have surgery recently.  She had not worked for us a year yet so she was not eligible for FMLA.  Our company policy says that we will grant personal unpaid leave for up to 6 weeks.  This woman needed longer than that.  I helped her out so that she could keep her job.  This was not super hard for me to do.  It just took a bit of effort and figuring.  It didn't take a ton of my time. I took care of it a few weeks ago and forgot all about it.

When this employee came back today she not only gave me a thank you card, but it included a Starbucks gift card.  I was surprised because as an employer I typically give people thanks, cards, and gift cards.  I have rarely ever received anything from an employee to say thank you.

What a blessing!

May I not get too busy and forget to notice and speak out the good that people are doing.

Things aren't always what they seem

Have you ever been in a situation where you don't realize what you don't know?

I encountered just a situation recently at work.

Although I've held my nursing home administrator license in CA since 2002, until the past year I've always worked in setting with individuals with psychiatric issues, developmental disabilities, and prisoners.  Last year I was blessed with a job as an administrator in a skilled nursing facility.  I've learned a lot this year and I'm still learning every day.

We have a contract with the veterans administration (VA).  It really has not turned out to be a good thing for us financially.  The facility where I'm at is called a post acute because our focus is on rehabilitative therapy and the bulk of our patients are short stay; between 1 week to 3 1/2 months.  There are a few long term (LTC) patients for whom this will always be their home, but we are not really accepting any new long term patients.  The VA knows this because I explained it to them the very first time I met with them to start talking about contracting with them.  They weren't pleased but they decided to go ahead and contract with us any way.  Yet they send us patients for rehabilitative therapy and then stop the therapy within a week after arrival.

Recently they had cut off therapy for one of their patients and, in this case I can kind of understand. This patient has pancreatic cancer and it would make more sense to just help him be as happy and comfortable as possible.  The nurse manager from the VA contacted me regarding putting him onto Hospice and I directed her to our director of nursing (DON).  The director of nursing services was on vacation and this nurse felt like she just couldn't wait.  I explained that we don't have any Medicaid/LTC beds available.  She kept insisting that it wouldn't be long and that if I could just give her one for a month.  Like a dummy I allowed myself to be pressured. (Goes back to that truth that I only need to do what I believe God wants me to do; not be overly concerned with pleasing everyone else around me.)

A Hospice nurse shows up at our facility on Friday and I had her talk with our DON.  Later in the day that VA nurse manager kept calling and calling and calling me.  I was busy and she would not let the receptionist put her call through to voice mail.  The DON was in a patient care meeting with family.  I finally talked with this VA case manager nurse and she kept pressuring me about the need for this patient to start on hospice that very day.  I directed her again to the DON but told her to have the hospice company send me a copy of the letter of agreement.

When I got the letter of agreement I realized that we would be receiving 1/3 less pay than we are currently for this patient if I sign the agreement and let him go onto Hospice.  I finally got to talk with our DON and she told me that she'd already spoken with this VA nurse manager and talked with her again.  Our DON asked the nurse manager what nursing services she felt we weren't providing that were needed.  That nurse manager could not tell her any.

I still didn't understand because I asked our DON how it will benefit the VA, I was thinking they would still need to pay the hospice company.  The DON explained that the hospice company will bill Medicaid and then the VA will not have to pay for anything.

So that's why this nurse manager was in such a hurry!

So I spoke with the nurse manager again and explained that we can provide palliative care measures or any other nursing intervention necessary.   I also explained that we can't really lose revenue in that manner.  She told me that she understands we're a business, but what about the patient?  I asked her what it was that the patient needed that we weren't providing?  Again there was not an answer.


I felt frustrated because she was acting like I only care about money and she wants patient care.  When it truth it looked like she wanted to get out of payment for the patient's care while causing me to lose a great deal of revenue.  It's interesting that the very DON  with whom I have problems is the one who helped me in this situation.  This DON has worked in this industry for more than 20 years and knew exactly what the VA nurse manager was trying to pull.

I pray that I would be wise in these situations.