In John 10:10 Jesus promises His followers abundant life. This blog is about my life as His follower.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Forgiveness is only easy in Theory

First off, I'm grateful.
Taken from

When I saw my doctor yesterday she wrote me off for 10 days.  I think my new boss and employer may be upset, but since I've got a physician's off work order, there is nothing they can do.  Since I've never used any of my sick time in the 13 months I've been on this job, I've got more than sufficient days to take these 10 days off with pay.  And I need them!

After a brief time in the Word I took a hike with John this morning, made us a wonderful brunch, and then settled in to to read the next chapter in The Cure . Can't express enough how incredible it is to not be exprierencing constant calls from work and to be able to engage in my life.

 Not surprisingly, God must have had this chapter just waiting for me today.  There's a lot in this chapter about forgiveness and, much to my surprise, the Holy Spirit convicted me about my need to repent and to forgive my employer.  Wow-here I've been feeling like the victim and then I'm hit with the fact that I need to do some repenting!  Although I may have been victimized, for my own health (not to mention the fact that I'm supposed to be a person who reflects God's love in my workplace) I need to both forgive my work and repent of the sins I've committed in the midst of all this.

Isn't that annoying?!  I don't know about you, but I'm much more comfortable with self righteous indignation than with humility.

One of the truths the authors brought to my attention is that my struggle with forgiveness is related to my trust in God.  If I believe that He is control of everything, and that anything that occurs in my life is because He has allowed it, then I will trust that these tough situations are going to be used for my good and that God will see me through them.  (Obviously one of my sins has been my failure to trust God, my self will.)

I'm grateful for this book because the authors reminded me that the repentance is not something I can work up on my own. 2 Timothy 2:25 makes it clear that God gives us the gift of repentance.  So it was no big dramatic thing; I just asked God to give me the gift of repentance and spent some time letting the Holy Spirit bring to my mind my sins.  I asked God to forgive me, thanked Him, and then asked Him to empower me to not fall into these any more.

Interestingly enough, repentance of wrong doing on my part in all of this, makes it easier to forgive my employer.

Have you ever had a situation where you had difficulty forgiving?  What did God teach you through it?


RCUBEs said...

It seemed like we had the same He also did that with me. Like enough of self-pity because what was lost from my work was nothing in compare to all the richest blessings He gives. It was hard to forgive those who hurt me and abused their power. But He reminded me it was only me suffering more than them whenever I got into that "I didn't deserve it" attitude...True enough, when I yielded to His leading, His peace and joy flooded my heart and mind instead. How true His Word is...How faithful His promises!

Oh...that's awesome you got the much needed break! May you be refreshed by His power!

Tracy said...

Thanks Rcubes.

I too am grateful for the break; to say I need it is an understatement. If I took vacation they'd still be calling me and expecting me to take care of things and this way they can't because I let them know in writing that my physician said to turn off the phone.

God spoke to me through this book I've been reading. The authors point out a pattern that people who've been wronged fall into, and I fit much of the pattern. The pattern parts I fit being:
Become preoccupied with the event, become a prosecuting attorney who's constantly "building my case" against the wronging party, become obsessed with justice and accuracy, stop loving others in my life as well due to my preoccupation, become entrenched in my own viewpoint, become uptight and less joyful,have a drive to tell my story, become progressively less healthy.

That's why I've needed this time off. To get some sleep, to listen to God, to get back in line with His way of dealing with life.

RCUBEs said...

You know how we are...inside the Armor..weary and wounded at times. But I'm grateful for His loving arms. Always ready to accept us and give His shoulders for us to cry on. You'll be okay. Because even your time off, that was already a part of His plan. He will strengthen this waiting period. No doubt about that! But the most beautiful part of healing would come from your being able to forgive. Then letting the Advocate do the fight for you. For me. And for those willing to suffer. He knows. Because He also suffered. Blessings sister and if I sound like I'm strong, compassionate and other things when I talk about my journey, believe me. There's still lots of work He's doing in my heart. It is about Him. Truly...His glory!

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