I want to remember this one

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Had an experience yesterday that I want to remember.

Every morning before work I sit in this specific beige chair that's next to the bed at where I'm staying during the work week.  Every morning I take time to spend some time with God.  At different times in my life I've approached this time differently. Right now during this time I have this routine:

• Set my phone timer for 3 minutes during which I try to just quiet myself down and spend time being "still" and knowing that He is God.
• Spend time thanking God for specific blessings and good things in my life.
• Read a chapter in the New Testament.  Typically I try to read it out loud. Right now my goal is just to make my way through the New Testament one chapter a day.
• Reflect on what those verses taught me about God and how God is speaking to me through those verses.
• Pray

This is not a lot of time, maybe only 10-15 minutes.

These last couple of weeks have been just brutal at work.  One thing after another and then another.  I've been working long hours 5 days a week and coming in for a couple of hours on Sunday evenings.
A HFEN with the California Dept of Public Health (CDPH) had come in on Thursday in response to an incident which we had self reported.  Initially I felt very comfortable because the DON and I had worked hard to make sure we went over the top to handle this situation and document everything excessively.  I thought of it as a nothing berger. Then CDPH comes in and gives me an intent to cite behind the situation.  He said we did everything right but that the regulations changed in this past November and now we have to report anything that is anywhere in the realm of an "abuse" allegation within 2 hours of the incident - no matter what day or time. For years and years and years the regulation has been within 24hours unless bodily harm occurred and then within 2 hours.  In this situation it was not even an allegation - it was witnessed by the 2 patients involved and an LVN and RN.  The LVN and RN had intervened when the one patient went to hit the other so that no contact was made.  There really was no abuse involved but I reported it as an unusual occurrence.  The HFEN told me that I didn't know that the abuse didn't happen until I investigated when one of those patients told me about it on Monday.  I explained that it had been witnessed and the reason the nurses didn't call me was because no abuse occurred.  He pointed out that one of my interviews showed that a C.N.A. said that the 2 patients used "bad words" and that one patient saying bad words to another patient is resident to resident abuse and should have been reported in 2 hours.  I felt frustrated and angry because these type of things keep happening with DPH at this facility.  It is difficult not to feel like they are out to get us. I've been an administrator for many years and never had this type of incessant problems with CDPH.

Anyway, I was all upset.  I complained.  I allowed myself to get a bad attitude. Some other annoying things happend too.

In my time with God yesterday I read Matthew 7. Typically I've been reading NIV in my devotion times, but when I started this series I decided on the 3rd day to start reading the Message paraphrase for a while just to change it up a bit.  Yesterday these words from Matthew 7, starting with verse 7 caught my attention:

Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. 

When I read those words I just had to stop reading and do what it said.  I started asking God for what I needed: forgiveness for my bad attitude, a change of heart, His peace....on and on it went  But suddenly as I was praying I head myself saying words that hadn't been what I'd anticipated.  It was like the Holy Spirit started giving me the words to pray.  I've had that happen a few times in my life, not many. Then I begin to cry as I prayed.  It was as if the tears washed out my heart-all the anger and bitterness and frustration.  I felt clean.  But even more than that - I felt His presence.  I know that the Holy Spirit lives within me and God is always present.  But I don't always feel His presence.  Yesterday morning I felt Him there and it was so very precious.  His peace grew like an outward flow from the depth of my being.

It was a special time.  One of those times I want to remember.

That's why I recorded it here.