The Change

Graphic from Quanta Magazine

I kind of feel embarrassed to even mention this word: Menopause.

For a while now I've been trying to pretend that it doesn't affect me in any way, but the truth is that it does.  Symptoms include: hot flashes, night sweats, troubled sleep, anxiety, fatigue, and the sometimes over the top emotional response to situations.

I have to be on my guard for the emotional thing so I don't respond to what I feel. I have to stop and say to myself - yes I know this situation/person is really annoying, but do you think that the intensity of these feelings is much more than the situation warrants?  When I realize that this is the case I pray.  If it's at work I also take a walk outside for 10 or more minutes.  Basically I just don't let myself act on those feelings.


In 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 the apostle Paul talks about his ow famous "thorn in the flesh".  I keep thinking about the 9th verse when Paul is relating how he asked God to remove his thorn in the flesh and what the Lord said to him: 

Each time he said, "No But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people". Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ's power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities (TLB)

I keep reminding myself that this is an opportunity to really depend on Him, 'cuz I really can't control this.

I pray that He would use me any way.  I'm more weak than ever before in my life.  I don't have control over what I'm feeling or how my body is acting.