It hit me once again today how random my opportunities to talk with my teen sons seem. It is very rare indeed that a time I set up to officially "talk" with them ever turns out to be a real time of communication between us. The only thing I've found those official talks effective for at this stage in their lives is when I'm clearly communicating the guidelines and potential consequences or talking about everyone's activities agendas and transportation; the business of livings kinds of issues. But for issues of the heart, the real communication always takes place during unexpected, unplanned, times that seem to just randomly occur.
So I've determined to be on the look out for these times so I won't miss out on my chances. I've decided to start praying for these times and for what God wants me to share with them.
I just decided this today after God blessed me with an opportunity for a deep discussion regarding the existence of evil when we have an all loving God. That discussion led into one about the fact that bad things happen in this world; that we need to have an approach to life that will expect the potential of terrible stuff, instead of just expecting only good things to come our way. To see that hardship is inevitable but how we respond to hardship is our choice. It was a great discussion.
What about you, what have you learned about talking with your teens? Or, what do you remember about relevant talks with your parents when you were a teen?
4 comments:
Planned talks seem to turn out badly. They always anticipate the worst. So, I just plan most-of-the-day-trips with them to go some place, grab an iced coffee, and connect. It takes a few hours to get through some times. but these 4-6 hour excursions work the best.
Being busy now that my son is back to school, I try to make an opportunity when we are having dinner together. He usually shares things that went on every time he gets out of school. Until we get home, he gets some snack and sits down to keep chatting with me. I find it precious and if there's an opportunity to share His wisdom/discernment, I take advantage of that precious time.
Sometimes, I'm the one who ends up learning things from him. Blessings to you sister Tracy. You're a great mom.
I have tried talking with them as often as possible,hope to make every moment count. I believe communication is one the most important connect in a parent-child relationship.
At the risk of preaching ... forgive me if I do ...
Don't plan a talk with your teens ... they're far too busy enjoying life than to listen to a grown-up; (at least that's the impression I got!).
So I talked when the occasion arose ... watching TV for instance and something happens in the film/story we're watching. I'd say "Did you see that ... if X had not acted this way then Y would not have done this and ..." I use the opportunity for a quick unplanned talk, asking their views on matters and how they interpret it ... or how they would have behaved in the circumstances.
Prayers at all times ... and God will provide you with the opportunities to talk ... and listen.
God bless.
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