Choosing Truth

One of things God's been challenging me with in my life lately is Choosing Truth.  So I figured that I'd share about that at the upcoming women's event where I'll be sharing a devotional.

So, I'm working on my first rough draft here:

In your day to day life, where do some of the prevalent messages that you receive come from?

I'm constantly bombarded with messages from the radio, TV, my family, people at  my work, and those thoughts that come into my head.  The ones in my head are a product of how I was raised, the most prevalent messages around me, my natural inclinations, what I choose to put into my head, and sometimes even the voice of the enemy.

I've noticed a huge correlation in my  life with which messages I allow myself to focus on, and how I experience life. (I'm thinking to hand out the following scriptures to 3 women who I know are comfortable reading out loud and say these few things about the scripture and then have them read it.  Since it's a Craft night I don't think women will bring a Bible so I'll give them the verse and a Bible to read it from.  For for the Proverbs passage I'm going to give a copy of a King James Version for the woman to read from, the Philippians passage a New Living Translation, and the Romans passage The Message paraphrase.)

Proverbs 23:6-8 talks about a type of person to avoid.  The passage also brings up the principle that as we think in our hearts, that's who we are and who we are becoming.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on and fill up our minds with those things which are true, honorable,  right,  pure, lovely, and admirable. To think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Romans 12:1-3 talks about avoiding becoming like the culture around us.  These verses challenge us to sacrifice our lives and our ways of doing things to God.  These verses say that the key to doing this is to choose where we put our focus and to let God change the way we think.

I can choose to spend time in God's Word, to listen to those things that reaffirm His truth, and then to think on those things instead of the other thoughts and messages coming my way. When thoughts and messages that are contrary to what God says come into my mind, I can choose to replace them with the truth or can give into them and get carried away in a direction that takes me away from God. 

Do you have any current stressors in your life?  Maybe in a relationship with a spouse, child, co-worker, neighbor, or boss?  Or do you have a current situation in your life that really is not what you want it to be?

I have a couple; some very difficult situations in my job and some decisions one of my sons has made that I wish he were to have done differently.  These stressors in my life are such that they could make me miserable; even bitter and unhappy if I'd let them.  The stressors at work, since I'm there 5 days a week, could consume me if I'd let them.  Only by God's Word, only by choosing by  His grace and power available through the Holy Spirit in me, can I not let my stressful situations and relationships make me miserable.

When negative thoughts or messages come into my mind about my job or the choices my son has made and the situations those choices have created, I can choose to either go with the negative thoughts or to stop them right there. I've taken the time to sit down and pray and look in the Word and create some truth statements about my two situations.  Sometimes, when negative thoughts or messages come my way, I  choose to say those truth statements in my head, or if I'm alone, to even say them aloud.

But it's God's Spirit that empowers me to do this.

(I'm thinking due to time, since this is just a devotional, and area of focus, to just reference these scriptures verses and not read them aloud)


2 Corinthians 3:15-20 talks about how God is working in the lives of His followers, by the power of His spirit, changing us.

Ephesians 3:16-19 tells me that the Holy Spirit gives me the power to receive God's love and strength.

Galatians 5:22-23 describes how God's Spirit in us produces a different person; that He produces His attributes in us.

It's all about God.  It's all about His work in us.  It's only by His grace and power that we can deal with life's stressors.  He does it all.  But I can yield myself to Him and His work, or I can resist.  I've seen repeatedly in my life that what I allow myself to think on, where I put my attention during my day, either allows God to work in my life or puts me in the center and makes it so I have to go through hard stuff and then repent before I can experience His power.

I want His supernatural power in my life; I need that supernatural power to deal with those 2 stressors, that I've shared about my son and job.  I can't change these situations, I don't get to make them the way that I want them to be.  But what I do want, is God to be big and powerful in me even in these situations.  For God to do things that only He could do.  

Do you want that too?

I want to challenge you to pick 1 or 2 relationships or situations in your life right now that you want to see God work supernaturally in.  Let's spend a few brief moments in individual, silent, prayer regarding those situations and then I'll close us out with a brief prayer.  I want you to pray that God would reveal some ways that choosing His truth will enable Him to work more in your heart and in these situations.

Truth Statements

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 I've got a couple of challenging situations in my life; stuff at my job, and some choices one of my son's has made and the situations those choices have created in his life.

Both of these situations hit me hard in the heart.  Both of these are situations that I could choose to perseverate on the negatives aspects of and become depressed and even bitter regarding.

Lately the Holy Spirit has been teaching how where I put my focus, what I think on, impacts my response to these challenges.  I can, and have at times chose to, listen to the messages I receive from a myriad of places or the thoughts that come into my head with regard to these challenging situations.  Or I can choose to think on what God says.

I've felt impressed to spend some time in the Word and come up with some Truth statements about my work and about my son.  These are statements that I can choose to think on when the negative thoughts come into my mind.

Here are those Truth Statements (and the scriptures they come from):

• God loves me and is in control of my life and I can always count on Him. (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 25:9-11, Ephesians 1:3-12)                                                                                                            
• God wants to use me right where I am right now in my daily life.  He wants to use me in the lives of the people with whom I come in contact. (Philippians 4:4-5,  Matthew 5:14-16, 1 Peter 2:11-13, I Thessalonians 4:10-12)
• My work is for God not my boss, or family, or anyone else.  It does not matter if others appreciate me because my purpose is to please God. (Colossians 3:22-24, Philippians 1:10-11, 2 Timothy2:3-5)
• God loves this son of mine and has good plans for his life (2 Peter 3:8-9, Jonah 4:1-2)
• Although my son may have wandered away from God and pursued his own way, God won't give up on this son of mine. ( Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 18:10-14, Proverbs 2:6 )
• God will use even this son's mistakes and sins to bring about good in his life. (Psalm 11:7, Romans 8:25-29)

Opportunity

Recently I was asked to pray about if I'd give a devotional at an upcoming women's craft event at our church.

I'm not a public speaker.  Don't particularly like being in front of people.  Yet as I prayed about it, I felt like I should say yes.  But I waited a while thinking that maybe the impression to say yes would go away.  It didn't so I agreed to give the devotional.

Figured I'd share about what God's been teaching me lately.  Have to say I'm glad that this is a small event where there probably won't be more than 20 ladies in attendance.  But I  pray that God, in His goodness & mercy, would use what I say to minister what He wants to those women that come out.

Coincidence?

Some small, but perhaps significant, things have happened yesterday.  I'm wondering if these things are correlated to some other things from the previous night and morning,or if they're just coincidence.

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The things from the prior night and morning can be traced back to, ultimately, God; but also to some people who via the written word, God's brought into my life.  Those people would be Priscilla Schirer and Rcubes from Off the Beaten Trek .

Last night I read a scripture that I've read many times before:

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

I didn't think any new thoughts on the verse, but somehow, I felt more deeply impacted by the verse than I have previously.   Priscilla Schirer, in her book about Jonah that I've been reading, asks the question of if you have a messed up "want-to" and I've been thinking about this.  Because the truth is I do have a messed up "want-to".  I want to do what I want to do, my desires don't always line up with God's.   I've been so unhappy and frustrated in my job, I've struggled to overcome this feeling that comes to me frequently that says I hate my job.   Sure I have plenty to be unahppy about but the bottom line is that this is where I'm at for now and being a hater never helps anything, and there are some good things about my job.  So every day I've been trying and trying to remind myself that God is in control of the universe and that He has at least allowed me to be here, to remind myself of what is good about my job, and to try to see how I can be of help or encouragement to the people with whom I come in contact every day.  But it's been a huge struggle; it feels every day like I'm trying to go up a waterfall that is torrentially coming down upon me.  So last night I started praying that God would change my "want-to"; I started asking Him to teach me how to delight in Him and that the desires of my heart would come into alignment with His desires for me.

Rcubes works in a correctional institution as do I.  She's indicated previously at various times that there is more to situations than we can see in the natural, she's spoken about spiritual warfare.  I've got to tell you that spiritual warfare is not one of my favorite topics.  I've mentioned before that previously in my life I was involved in an unhealthy "charismatic" church many years ago and that I, wrongly, threw out much good theology and practice right along with all the bad.  So, due to prior abuses, I've shied away from the whole topic of spiritual warefare.  But scripture is very clear that there is an unseen realm, and that this realm affects the realm we can see.  It's also clear that Believers are involved in a spiritual battle.  In Ephesians 6:11-13 it talks about the armor of God and I felt a desire to pray through that yesterday morning and, metaphorically speaking, to put on that armor.  I prayed God's protection over me, and for Him to send his mighty warrior angels to protect me and asked that He would grant me His favor in the day.

Yesterday was a typical day at work.  One thing after another went wrong, I was pulled a bunch of different directions.  Started the day with an RN with a bad attitude who, when I pulled her aside to let her know that the attitude isn't acceptable, ended up bursting into tears and telling me about how I have it out for her.  Had auditors criticizing our paperwork.  Had a new medical records clerk actually ask me while I was training her if I expect her to remember the training I was providing to her.  Had the psychiatrist ask to speak to me due to serious meical and psychological concerns about one of our detainees, and was without any kind of guidlines on how to respond in the sitution, I had to think and pray and go with what seemed best to me.  The assistant warden came into medical records and decided that we are not organized the way he thinks best and wanted us to change everything - right them. We couldn't find the medical record for a detainee transferred over from our building next door but they said they did not have it (it was finally found that they did). The list goes on and on, but I'm sure you get the point.

But somehow, in the midst of all of this, I didn't feel all frazzeled like I usually do every day.  I didn't hear the words in my head I hate my job. I had a phone conversation with my new boss where we actually laughed and joked together and I felt like we were in it together, where I liked her. Near the end of the day when I was following up on a problem with two security lieutenants one of them commented on how I'm smiling more then I usually do and seem happier and the other emphatically affirmed the comment  (I always go out of my way to be nice to these guys and they recognize that, but I'm never personal with any of them, so it surprised me that they even think about how I feel).  When I got home last night John commented on how it's so good to have the old me back, that he's happy to see me not being so super stressed by my work.

I know this sounds so small, but this is not how I have felt for the past 14 months, and espcially not for the past 2 months since they've brought in this woman to be my boss.

Maybe it's somthing transitory, maybe not; time will tell.  Is my experience related to asking God to enable me and teach me to delight in Him and to change my "want-to?"   Is my experience related to focusing on the armor described in Ephesians 6:11-13 and praying my way though it yesterday morning and praying for His protection and favor?  Or, is it just a coincidence?

Maybe I've been asking the wrong question

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I've journaled a lot about my struggles with my job.

I'd been in charge, been the person to work tons of hours creating this program from nothing and then suddenly the company (who gave me nothing in terms of training prior to starting the endeavor and only finally provided a little bit of training after 9 months) brings in another employee over me and makes me her assistant.  To their credit, or at least my good, they kept me at the same pay.  Something that makes it even more challenging is that my new boss is sarcastic, sharp with people, and difficult to work with because she doesn't lead and is unclear about what she wants.  On the good side she's worked for this company for many years and knows their systems well, she's a competent manager, and she's an RN who has more specific medical knowledge than I.

So I've struggled with the whole situation and whined a lot here.

Recently I've started a Bible study in the book of Jonah.  I'm utilizing a companion workbook put together by Priscilla Shirer that looks at Jonah from the perspective of a life interrupted.  I can relate to that theme. I had these career plans to grow this program and, although the program is growing, I'm no longer in charge.  This wasn't how I envisioned things going.

Shirer makes these points in her book that have got me to thinking:

"A life interrupted by a holy God is a privilege"

"God doesn't need us to complete His purposes, yet He still chooses to ask us to partner with Him.  It's unfathomable.  His callinig you means that He has chosen you above anyone else to do what He is asking.  You are the one He singled out and pinpointed as His partner for a particular project."

"Believing that divine interruptions are a privilege not only will cause us to handle them differently but also to await them eagerly.  Knowing that we have an opportunity to participate in God's purposes should cause us to sit on the edge of our seats in anticipation of divine interventions disguised as life's interruptions."

So, I've been spending time looking and looking and looking for another job.  I've been asking why can't I seen to get another job?   But now I'm thinking that I need to be seeking God as to what He wants from me here at this job right now.  I need to be asking what is Your purpose in having me here at this job right now?  What is it that You want me to do?

The key of trusting God

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I've been struggling a lot at my current job.  Feel like I've been treated poorly, and then had a person brought in who is directly above me.  In all fairness this person has very different strengths and weakness than mine and between the two of us we have a lot of powerful strengths.  If I'm really honest I'm jealous; I don't feel like this person is more valuable or better but she's making 25% more money and is now my boss.  But, it's like my husband John said to me; I'm only meant to follow God's path for me, not to worry about her path or what's happening with her.     I've prayed about getting another job but so far nothing has panned out.  Not to mention that twice now during the past 6 months I've heard a voice that I think might be the Holy Spirit saying but will you trust me in this job?

So in this current set of circumstances I read the following verse this morning that spoke to my heart:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13 (NIV)

I want joy, peace, and hope.  I know from experience that it's not something I can manufacture.  I remembered anew as I read these lines that only the Holy Spirit can produce joy, peace and hope in my life.  Saw anew that the key is trust in God.

There's a line in The Cure that I read not long ago: "Where you are right now is the perfect place for you, or the God of all goodness and power would not allow you to be there".

So I'm here.  I'm seeking by His power in me to trust Him.  I'm trying to every day have an attitude that is open to how God would want me to reach out to the people with whom I work and the patients who it's our job to care for.   Because of this change in my perspective I'm finding little things each day to bring me satisfaction and joy:  When two officers commented on how happy I always seen at work and I could tell them that God is good, when a patient thanks me for caring and helping him, when this new boss looks at me in an odd way and comments on how she just doesn't understand why I'm so nice.

Bill Thrall makes the statement that the process of destiny is humility, submission, obedience, and suffering.  So obviously my current situation puts me in a great place to be part of that process. 

Being a grace giver

There's a book I've been reading, The Cure, that has been quite a journey for me.This is the line of the authors' that captivated me today:

"What if it's less important that anything ever gets fixed than that nothing has to be hidden?"

This concept reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses from Proverbs 28:13 (NASV) that says:

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.

Yet sometimes people find that the local gathering of Believers, the church, is the hardest place to be real.  Sometimes in our communities of faith there exists an unspoken message that everyone has this list of stuff wrong that they need to get their act together regarding.

I'm grateful beyond words for those very few people in my life who are not that way.  My husband John, and those few friends that I can count on one hand, with whom I can be totally honest.  Because these people in my life understand that Christ did not die on the cross so that we could get into heaven by the skin of our teeth, but while still here on earth we need to work really hard to get it right.  These people show me by their friendship toward me that they know that Christ's work is already completed, and that our life here on earth is about loving each other as we mature into that completed work He has already accomplished in us.  And along the way we, as John would say, give each other a lot of grace.