A letter to my son's girlfriend

Last Sunday the Pastor's sermon was finishing the last part of the last chapter in 1 Thessalonians.  As I listened I was caught by that phrase in 1 Thessalonians 5:14; to "encourage the disheartened".  Gosh, the disheartened are everywhere I look: where I work and where I live.  I felt impressed to make that my mission each day.

Surprisingly, what I saw happen was how truly crabby I can be!

But I also got a specific impression to write an actual letter on paper to mail with a stamp to my

Photo from Zazzle

middle son's girlfriend.  She functions like a wife; they've lived together for 3 years and have been engaged for 2 years.   There are things about her that make her not the person I would have chosen for my son, yet, she has a lot of great qualities.  I also know from what my son and she have told me that her mother has made some positive changes in her life and is a good person today but was an over the top critical person when the girlfriend was growing up.  I think that because of this she has a hole her soul that craves affirmation.

So this is what I wrote in the letter to the girlfriend:

"I want you to know how much I appreciate you.

Sometimes in life I find that I think good things about people in my head, but fail to ever communicate those thoughts.  I want to make sure I explicitly let you know how much I appreciate these specific things about you:

• How you love my son Dylan
• How you sincerely love Lilly and Lincoln
• The way you inspired Dylan to get involved with Altig; the career he’s come to value
• Your creativity that expresses itself through * Doing all kinds of things that make every Birthday special,  * Coming up with so many fun ideas that make every holiday and special event wonderful and memorable, * Bringing joy into every day life
• The way you look at each child and see their gifts and leanings and seek to involve him/her in classes or events that nourish those parts of them
• The value you place on being a mother and wife
• The fact that you accept, (and model that acceptance for those around you), everyone for who they are and don’t require them to be who you want or think is “right”
• What a great home decorator you are
• Your sensitive heart that is moved by the pain of others
• Your willingness to run point on dealing with crazy (Dylan's ex's name was here; she's the biological mother of Lilly & Lincoln)
• All the extra work you do because of the split custody situation
• Your willingness to forgive others when they wrong you
• Your willingness to engage in self awareness efforts and your heart to want to constantly grow, change and improve
• Your desire for connection with the spiritual part of life
• Your appreciation of beauty

I love you (girlfriend's name) and just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re in all of our lives,"

May God use this letter to encourage her.