In John 10:10 Jesus promises His followers abundant life. This blog is about my life as His follower.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Terrific Tuesday with Dave from Fire and Grace

Today's Terrific Tuesday guest is David who writes at Fire and Grace.

Have you ever noted that you frequently relate to someone's comments when you're commenting on blogs? Well that's how it was for me with David's comments. So I went on over to check out his blog, Fire and Grace, and was delighted with what I found.

Here's a post from David written just for today:

On the steps of St. John's Episcopal Church in Essex, Father Thomas told one of his parishioners that I was his friend and resident smart-alec (he actually used another word - but this is a nice blog - Tracy is a nice person). Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to thank Tracy for inviting me to share some drivel on her dime.

I have been around the Christian church for a long time - heard all the blasphemies and heresies you can imagine. IMHO, I may have created a few myself. I have written about the Top 10 Stupidest Things Christians Do, Things I Hate About Christianity, the 10 Commandments for Facebook, and my most popular blogs are about Poor Folks, and The Cost of Following Jesus.

In my most sarcastic style (which my wife won't let me use at home), I thought I would debut with the 10 most popular hot-button issues in church today. If I go down in flames, it's Tracy's blog not mine. ;o)


When church folk bring up one of the following topics, it can be like a space shuttle launch with Scriptures flying everywhere - sure to call for a secret elders rendezvous, a deacon's vote - or at least, a line item on this years "business meeting" agenda.

1 Worship Volume - too loud, to soft, can't hear the guitar, can you turn off Squeakly's mic? - "I'm a sound engineer, let me set the board up." "Don't touch anything, it's set to record the sermon!" There aren't too many solutions here. You can worship Jesus, or pop in a couple of ear-buds to listen to August Burns Red on your iPod like the teenagers do.

I rate this 1 devil as a hot-button issue in church.

1 Devil

Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.


2 Kids Church - why are we always looking for Sunday School teachers? Because the trouble makers that make this such a fun job to volunteer for, are probably our kids. One of the reasons we are at church is that we need some rest, right? Sometimes the need for teachers is so urgent, we have a pulpit prayer announcement. "Lord we pray for teachers with a heart for the children... snot wipers and diaper changers. And bless our week Lord, in Jesus' name." Can't we suffer our kids to someone else?

2 Devils

Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

3 Coffee - you would think that Starbuck's just found out their coffee was being picked by study abroad students in chain gangs. The very moment someone in the church finds a coffee pot that was not plugged in, pouring out the first cup of lukewarm tap water, the whole church comes to a screeching halt like cars on a foggy freeway in Southern California. Sunday is ruined, sermons are forgotten and there is hell to pay.

3 Devils

Acts 20:19 I served the Lord with great humility and with tears, although I was severely tested . .
.

4 Singles Group - how is it that the person that hasn't had a date in 3.5 hours could think that God called them to lead this group? A replay of the Fellowship Hall surveillance camera reveals the motives of the heart. And for the pot-luck mixer, I suggest casting lots for the seating arrangement.

2 Devils

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


5 Pastor's Salary - why should a pastor with a masters degree make more than someone stocking shelves at the local supermarket - after all he only works nights and weekends? And whose idea was it to take away his double-time pay on holidays? That's just not right.

3 Devils

1 Timothy 5:18 For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer is worthy of his wages."


6 Giving - from pledges to tithes, building funds to love offerings - the all mighty dollar will produce impassioned Christians in a heartbeat. To get brethren to be real about Christianity, I suggest passing the offering basket 2 or 3 times during a service, have an appeal for earthquake relief, followed up by a youth group bake sale in the lobby to benefit missions to Guatemala.

3 Devils

2 Corinthians 9 Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.


7 End Times - how is it that everyone seems to have a theory on what day Jesus is coming back? Each one with their own little piece of private insight. As Christian I think that we will know the seasons, not the day and the hour.

Matthew 24:36 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

Matthew 24:5 For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. 6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.


4 Devils

8 Sex
- from the prudish to the "it's okay if you're in love" gang, nothing stirs up the church like the topic of sex in its various forms and perversions. You would think that with all the verses describing what godly sex is not, that we'd have a lot less debate about sex education, teen pregnancies and church discipline for the fallen.

Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders,drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

5 Devils

9 Spiritual Gifts - nothing divides a church like the issue of speaking or praying in tongues. Is it God, is it the devil, should we do it unless there is an interpretation? What about prophecy and casting out demons, apostles and woman in ministry?

1 Corinthians 14:1 Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy.

9 Devils

10 God's Will for the Church - like rams during mating season, there is no equal to church members butting heads like the topic of God's will for the church. Bible verses and opinions scatter like feathers in a fan. I read a blog recently that said that church is an archive for old ideas. With dozens of denominations, I am beginning to wonder if anyone has read the whole book?

Romans 8:14 because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.


Galatians 5:18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

10 Devils

How about you, do you have any Hot-Button issues in church? What are they, and how would you rate them?

6 comments:

Deborah Ann said...

Oohhh...I don't think you're going down in flames anytime soon! I LOVE your writing style. Gonna stalk you...

~*Michelle*~ said...

Add my to the stalkers list.....

Great stuff!

Thanks Tracy for sharing Dave. :)

dsjohndrow said...

Thanks Tracy, for having me onboard. Blessings, David

Tony C said...

How about using technology in ministries? This coming from the guy who tweeted last Sunday's sermon...

5 demons- unless over 60 years old then it doubles to 10 demons

Tracy must live on the edge more than I thought...

photogr said...

I am afraid David has got me thinking about things.

dsjohndrow said...

Yes Tony, Tracy threw her religious sensibilities to the wind.

If I catch ya Tweeting in church, I'm going to flick you in the head. :o)

@Larry - yeah, like what?

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