I'm jobless and looking. I've applied to 150 positions, engaged in phone interviews for 9 jobs, made it to face to face interviews for 3 jobs, and mentally tried-on-and-got-excited about 4 positions that never panned out.
During this time I:
- Completed 2 required courses for the MA program I'm working on
- Came upon a free treadmill and started walking 4 - 5 miles daily while watching TV (mostly Taiwanese dramas)
- Spent bunches of time cooking for, and visiting with, my 92-year old mother
- Hosted all 3 of my sons + girlfriend + wife + girlfriend's daughter + grand daughter for the Christmas and New Year holidays
- Been blessed to make numerous beach trips to HB that included long walks at low tide with John at Bolsa Chica or Sunset beaches
- Read numerous fun, fiction, books
- Visited my oldest son, wife, & granddaughter in Texas
- Engaged in numerous discussions with my youngest son regarding his dreams, goals and future
- Prayerfully tried to provide requested advice to my middle son regarding his relationship with his girlfriend and his finances
- Started learning Spanish using a free phone app (Duolingo)
- Prepared to help facilitate the new women's Bible study at church
- Engaged in lengthy theology and/or political discussions with John
I know that God has a plan and I choose to trust Him. Sometimes my emotions are right there with me, and sometimes I struggle with feeling like a failure. One thing I have noticed is that my job and my identity and way too strongly linked together.
Right now I'm especially feeling adrift because I only need 3 more courses to complete this MA program and none of them are offered right now. I feel as if I've applied for every possible job for which I can think of and am a bit lost as to what to do next. I'm grateful that John's income makes it so that all our needs are met so I don't have a lot of financial pressure.
But I want more.......
I want to do more
help other people more
and I'm unclear where to start