In John 10:10 Jesus promises His followers abundant life. This blog is about my life as His follower.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Adrift

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Right now I'm a bit lost.

I'm jobless and looking.  I've applied to 150 positions, engaged in phone interviews for 9 jobs, made it to face to face interviews for 3 jobs, and mentally tried-on-and-got-excited about 4 positions that never panned out.

During this time I:
  • Completed 2 required courses for the MA program I'm working on
  • Came upon a free treadmill and started walking 4 - 5 miles daily while watching TV (mostly Taiwanese dramas)
  • Spent bunches of time cooking for, and visiting with, my 92-year old mother
  • Hosted all 3 of my sons + girlfriend + wife + girlfriend's daughter + grand daughter for the Christmas and New Year holidays
  • Been blessed to make numerous beach trips to HB that included long walks at low tide with John at Bolsa Chica or Sunset beaches
  • Read numerous fun, fiction, books
  • Visited my oldest son, wife, & granddaughter in Texas
  • Engaged in numerous discussions with my youngest son regarding his dreams, goals and future
  • Prayerfully tried to provide requested advice to my middle son regarding his relationship with his girlfriend and his finances 
  • Started learning Spanish using a free phone app (Duolingo)
  • Prepared to help facilitate the new women's Bible study at church
  • Engaged in lengthy theology and/or political discussions with John

I know that God has a plan and I choose to trust Him.  Sometimes my emotions are right there with me, and sometimes I struggle with feeling like a failure.  One thing I have noticed is that my job and my identity and way too strongly linked together.

Right now I'm especially feeling adrift because I only need 3 more courses to complete this MA program and none of them are offered right now. I feel as if I've applied for every possible job for which I can think of and am a bit lost as to what to do next.  I'm grateful that John's income makes it so that all our needs are met so I don't have a lot of financial pressure.

But I want more.......

I want to do more
be more
experience more
help other people more
and I'm unclear where to start

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