A look at reputable

Photo from http://coltharppianoworld.com/

Since I'm memorizing Philippians 4:4-8 I'm seeking to deepen my understanding of the passage.

Right now I'm unpacking the 8th verse:

Summing it all up friends, I'd say you'd do best by filling your minds with and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling and gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

Today I want to think about what it means to think on that which is reputable.

I looked in other translations and versions to see what they did with this same word and found the following:

•  whatever is right (NIV)
• whatever is worthy of respect (NET)
• right (NLT)
• whatever is right (NASB)
• whatever is just (AMP)
• whatsoever things are just (KJV)
• whatever [hosos] is just [dikaios] (MOUNCE)

So I'm seeing this flavor of what is right, just, and worthy of respect.  God is telling me that it is to my good to spend my time thinking about right, just and respectful things.

According to Word Hippo the opposite of just is: Imprecise, inaccurate, inappropriate, inequitable, partial, unfair, unjustified, unsuitable, unsuited, unjust

Word Hippo shows the opposite of right to be: wrong, disadvantage, disfavor, corruption, immorality, injustice, unfairness, subordination, dishonesty, dishonor, evil, impropriety, unsuitableness, wickedness


Word Hippo shows the opposite of respect to be: disrespect, criticism, disdain, dishonor, disregard, ignorance, bad manners, disfavor.

When situations come up in daily life that involve these opposites, I find that myself and most other people keep mentally thinking about these things.  It is natural.  I've been listening to an audio book lately by Joel Osteen that's entitled You Can, You Will. Osteen relates how researchers have found that negative memories take up more space in the brain because the person has to process the event.  There's an interesting article about how people tend to remember the negative more than the positive in March 23, 2013 issue of the New York Times. The Times article quotes psychology professor Roy F. Baumeister from Florida State who says: “Bad emotions, bad parents and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones.”

God warns me against this natural tendency in his Word.  He tells me I'll do better if I fill my mind with and think on what is right, just, and worthy of respect.

So what does that look like in daily life?  Here's some "down and dirty" examples from my daily life:

• I can be irritated that my husband yet again forgot to put sweetener in my Chai tea. Or I can be thankful that I have a husband who is willing to make tea for me weekend mornings.
• When I sit out on our deck I can be filled with sadness about the pine trees adjacent to our deck that are disease riddled with a problem rampant in Wrightwood currently. Or, I can be thankful for the delightful sound of our little fountain, the stirring breeze, and the fact that our next door neighbor doesn't have any windows facing our deck.
• I can continue to re-hash that fact that my DON at work called my boss when she was on vacation (so of course I was not in communication) and claimed all the credit for our successful annual department of public health (DPH) nursing PPD survey - when in fact it was the DSD and I who did everything for that outcome while the DON was not even involved. Or, I can praise God for His favor and blessings (of the DSD, the DPH surveyor and the outcome) and know that I work unto God not for the favor of my boss. I can think on how trustworthy God is and that He will promote me, and build my reputation, in His way and timing.

This list could just go on and on.  It comes down to disciplining my mind like  God says to in Romans 12:1-2.

 

Noble???

As I noted yesterday, I'm working on memorizing Philippians 4:4-8 out of the Message paraphrase. Right

Photo from http://www.kenlauher.com

now I'm seeking to unpack verse 8:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. 

Yesterday I looked at meditating on things that are true.

Today I want to tackle noble.

First off, what does noble even mean?

According to the Free dictionary by Farlex, noble means:

a. Having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor: a noble spirit.

b. Proceeding from or indicative of such a character; showing magnanimity: "What poor an instrument / May do a noble deed!" (Shakespeare).

I see a lot of decidedly un-noble acting people every day. I see them at work, in my neighborhood, at church, sometimes in my family, in the news, and when I look in the mirror.   

This 8th verse of the 4th chapter of Philippians is telling me that I'd be better off not filling my mind with, or meditating on, those un-nobel acting folks.  I don't believe that it's telling me to stick my head in the sand and not see what's going on. I also don't believe that it's telling me to not be alert, observant and wise and see who people really are and respond accordingly.  I think it's telling me to just not park my mind there.

I have a DON at work who's the best and the worst.  The part in which she's the worst includes almost always lying, manipulating, and back stabbing. It would be oh so easy for me to get caught up in thinking on how terrible she is and how sometimes she makes my job seem impossible.  Instead I'm learning that I need to recognize what she's doing and pray.  I need to be wise and have the Holy Spirit help me know how to act strategically in light of the facts about this person.  But it is counterproductive for me to dwell on her "badness".  It's of no value for me to play over and over in my mind how she drives me crazy or that she calls my boss and bad talks me. Instead, I need to fill my mind and think on what is noble.

I'll benefit most from looking around me at work, home, church, my neighborhood, and in the media and thinking about who is showing courage, generosity, honor, or magnanimity.  Those are the people who's actions I should be considering. Those are the people who will help me see what I want to be. 

One of the things I really appreciate about the Word is how practical it can be!

Why Truth?

Photo from http://www.insearchofthetruth.net

I've been working on memorizing Philippians 4:4-8 out of the Message paraphrase.

Today I want to think a bit more on that 8th verse:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. 

So what's true?Why should I fill my mind with it and meditate on it?

One reason is because truth sets me free.

John 8:31-32 (MSG) says:
^31-32 Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in him. “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.”

This leads me to the question, how does truth set me free?

The first thing that comes to my mind is 2 Bible passages. The first is found in 1 Peter 5:8-9 (NASB):
⁸ Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. ⁹ But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.

The second is when Jesus is talking and He says (found in John 10:10 (NET):
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. 

One of the things that I've found in my life is that the enemy whispers, or nudges me toward, lies in my mind. Things like oh I'm too overwhelmed and can't do this. Or I'll never be free from this addiction to food. Or it won't hurt if I just go with the flow today, I'm tired, I don't have to give my all every day - that's too much. Another one is I can't get up in front of this group and talk, I just feel too ashamed. Similarly, I don't want to be friendly and talk to them, it's just too much effort. Or I know I should be less selfish toward John, but it's just so easy to act naturally. Why bother? Or Oh I don't want to get out of bed, I have to go to work and there's this problem and that, etc. I just don't want to deal with it all. Another way this can work is when some of the people at work start gossiping or talking about others; instead of getting into all that negativity I can walk away or just simply say I don't want to be talking about that person.


Choosing to let my mind fill with this kind of garbage will end up with me being right down in the pit.  For me that looks like me going through the motions in life but not really living. It looks like me using food, day dreams, or any other passing distraction to numb out.

Instead of living like that, I can choose to actively put God's truth into my mind.  I'm reminded of Romans 12:1-2, especially that second verse (NET):
 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.

Deliberately choosing to think on the truth is one way to renew my mind. There are three practical ways I've found helpful in this quest recently:

Hearing positive, true encouraging words on the way to work.
Recently a brother in Christ at work and I have been trading books on CD.  We're both into listening to books on our way to work. He'd loaned me one that is by a pastor who I find so encouraging that I went out and bought it for myself and keep listening to it over and over.  I want it down in my spirit.  It's super positive and my job puts me around sick, unhappy patients and their unhappy families every day.  Staff, patients, and family all come to me with their complaints and problems.  I have such an opportunity to minister God's truth and love. I can really make a difference. But it can also be draining. Sometimes the negativity feels like it's going to engulf me.  Letting super positive, encouraging, hope-filled words be read over me as I drive to work is one way to counteract all that negativity. 

Memorizing Bible verses and passages.
Memorizing has never been easy for me. Back when I was in college the first time I went through the Navigators scripture memory program.  I still remember those same verses today. I still find that they minister to me and help form the way I think and look at the world.  So I've taken the plunge and am working to memorize verses and passages again. I pray that God enable my brain to remember and use His words to change the way I think, to align me with His thoughts. 

Prayer.
I'm praying that God would help me recognize and catch the lies. That He would bring His truth to my mind. That He would empower me to replace lies with truth in my thought life.  That He would build truth upon truth in my innermost being.

One of the reasons I adore this 8th verse in Philippians 4 is that it's so practical.  It just comes out and explains that I'll do best if I fill my mind with, and meditate on, truth.

 

Prayer "experiment" with receiving vrs achieving-Day 2

I want to look again at all the verses I've already come up with regarding my struggle with being tired all the time.  I want to see if any of these verses have any conditions, anything I must do in order to receive the energy/strength/power that God says is available to me as His follower.

Isaiah 40:30-31(NIV)
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall; 
 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.
Condition: Hope in the Lord 

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Condition: Get away with Jesus. Watch how He does thinks. Learn from him the "unforced rhythms of grace".

Matthew 26:41 (NIV)
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Condition: Watch and pray so you don't fall into temptation 

Romans 8:22-28 (MSG)
^22-25 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
Condition: Look to God's spirit to help me and give me strength. Cry out to Him, even when I don't know how to say it.

Romans 15:13 (MSG)
Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!
Condition: Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 


1 Corinthians 2:2-4 (NIV)
² For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³ I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. ⁴ My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,
Condition: Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 

1 Corinthians 15:10-11 (MSG)
^10-11 But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am. And I’m not about to let his grace go to waste. Haven’t I worked hard trying to do more than any of the others? Even then, my work didn’t amount to all that much. It was God giving me the work to do, God giving me the energy to do it. So whether you heard it from me or from those others, it’s all the same: We spoke God’s truth and you entrusted your lives.
Condition: Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10  (MSG)
^7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
Condition: Quit focusing on my problem with being tired and without energy. Thank God that He is strong in my weakness and look to Him for His supernatural energy.

Ephesians 1:15-23 (MSG)
^15-19 That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
^20-23 All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule. And not just for the time being, but forever. He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ’s body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.
Condition: Pray. Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 

Philippians 2:12-13 (MSG)
What I’m getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you’ve done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience. Now that I’m separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God’s energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.
Condition: Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Condition: Acknowledge the truth that God is my source of strength. 

Colossians 1:9-12 (MSG)
Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. 
Condition: Learn more and more about how God works. Learn how to do what He's called me to - my work. Pray for His strength.  Look to God to give me strength through His Spirit. Thank God for His strength. 

Colossians 1:28-29 (NLT)
²⁸ So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ. ²⁹ That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.
Condition: Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. 

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (MSG)
 Because we know that this extraordinary day is just ahead, we pray for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he’s called you to be, pray that he’ll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jesus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely. 
Condition: Pray. Look to God as my source of energy.  See the Holy Spirit as my source. Be engaged in the activities that He wants me to do and ask for His strength.
 
 I want to start looking at these verses, one at a time or in groups.  I want to think more deeply on them.  Studying them and these conditions more.

Prayer "experiment" with receiving vrs achieving-Day 1

If I were to pick my toughest challenge right now it would be that I'm tired.  I feel like I don't have enough energy to do all that is before me in my life with the excellence that is necessary.  The issue is not that I'm over committed either.  The issue is me and how I'm dragging.

So I've come up with these verses that relate:

Isaiah 40:30-31(NIV)
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall; 
 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 26:41 (NIV)
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Romans 8:22-28 (MSG)
^22-25 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Romans 15:13 (MSG)
Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!


1 Corinthians 2:2-4 (NIV)
² For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³ I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. ⁴ My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,

1 Corinthians 15:10-11 (MSG)
^10-11 But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am. And I’m not about to let his grace go to waste. Haven’t I worked hard trying to do more than any of the others? Even then, my work didn’t amount to all that much. It was God giving me the work to do, God giving me the energy to do it. So whether you heard it from me or from those others, it’s all the same: We spoke God’s truth and you entrusted your lives.

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10  (MSG)
^7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Ephesians 1:15-23 (MSG)
^15-19 That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
^20-23 All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule. And not just for the time being, but forever. He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ’s body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.

Philippians 2:12-13 (MSG)
What I’m getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you’ve done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience. Now that I’m separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God’s energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Colossians 1:9-12 (MSG)
Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. 

Colossians 1:28-29 (NLT)
²⁸ So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ. ²⁹ That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (MSG)
 Because we know that this extraordinary day is just ahead, we pray for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he’s called you to be, pray that he’ll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jesus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely. 
 
 So if the idea is that I can benefit from praying with confidence that I will receive what God wants for me, then I need to change the way I think.  I need to meditate on these verses.  I don't know if my brain is capable of memorizing all of them, but I can certainly meditate on them and memorize at least some.  Who knows, maybe I can memorize them all.  We'll see.

One thing for certain is that I'm tired of being so tired.

So I'm gonna fill my mind with what God says, and then try to pray with confidence to receive what He says is already mine.

I'm also gonna look to the conditions in these scriptures and ensure that, by His power, I do my part so that I can receive what He wants to give me.  Sometimes I think the conditions are the way God will give me what He wants to give. 

Receiving prayer versus Achieving

A group of women and I are studying through 1 & 2 Thessalonians together.   We're utilizing a workbook to assist us in our study.

As I was studying in the workbook and the Bible this morning I became confused. The workbook author was discussing how frequently Paul asked the Thessalonians in these books to pray for himself, Silas, & Timothy.  She then related  the concept of shifting out prayers from achieving to receiving.  At first I thought she meant it the other way around and I totally got that concept.  I thought to myself that yep I'm constantly praying that God will empower me to perform that required activities in my family, work, and community effectively.  But then as I continued I realized that I'd reversed what the author was saying. She talked about how we trust God to receive and then have His peace.

The author pointed out verses such as Matthew 7:7-8, Luke 11:10-13, Ephesians 1:3, 2 Peter 1:2-3, and 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. All of these verses point to the idea that God wants to give us what we need.  They all could be interpreted to say that we can confidently ask from God because He wants to give to us.

Sure I've read and heard these thoughts many times before.

But, today, something different stirs inside me.  Today I'm asking - what will that look like?  How will this change my prayers?

If I'm totally candid, my prayer life has been quite small lately. I've thought about God plenty. Read the Word. Sometimes sang praise songs to Him.  Occasionally confessed something.  But spent very little time actually talking to God, and even less being open and trying to listen.

So I'm thinking - OK. I want to pray more.  I'm being stirred inside about this idea of receiving versus achieving.  I don't exactly get the concept but I'm going try a bit. I just read an encouragement from a brother in Christ to memorize the Word. So I'll start with a Word about something that's heavy on my heart right now, the get some verses regarding that and meditate on those verses and work toward memorizing them. Then I'll try to see how I can pray with confidence regarding that area. 

I want to be more grateful

Sometimes when good comes your way you just have to hold onto it.

Lately I've been so very very tired. I went to the doctor about this once before and she ran labs and prescribed a medication for my thyroid that really helped.  When I changed jobs this last August I had to wait 30 days and then change insurance.  The short of the story is that I last took that medicine in November and it is now March and I am tired. I did labs a couple of weeks ago and have a follow up appointment with my new insurance NP this coming Thursday.  Hopefully I'll get the medicine and feel better again.

Anyway. So I'm tired.  And I work with my specific DON who is both the best and the worst.  She's charismatic, funny, brilliant, capable.  She lies, manipulates, procrastinates and is always trying to maneuver to get herself more money. She makes me tired.

Lately I'm struggling to drag myself out of bed in the morning to get to work.  I'm struggling to not have a bad attitude toward my work.  I'm forcing myself to look at all the good things and choose to put my focus there instead of on the bad things.

Recently I read the following oh so appropriate words in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 (ESV):

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing,18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies, 21 but test everything; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

This is how I want to live my life!

I want to constantly think and verbalize words of gratitude rather than discontent.

Oh Father God, You've got to change me on the inside.  Because who I am is a person who wants things my way and who is too easily displeased. I recognize that Your ways are not my ways and that You use every circumstance and situation to my good. Help me remember that and live my life grateful. Thanks for all the good things in my life. Thank You that I have a job and I can make a difference.

In light of this I want to reflect on some good stuff that happened at my job just this past week:

• The housekeeping supervisor, who is an ESL person, told me that she prays for me every day. She told me that she knows my job is hard.  She said that she thinks I'm just the right person for this job and that she's happy I'm her boss.
• My boss understood and supported me when I requested that she not send a specific regional type person into my building any more.  I explained that she is too critical and mean to my people and that I'll discipline them if that's needed.  I need consultants who help, not who criticize. I'm grateful that I have a boss who really understands what I'm talking about.
• Our rehab coordinator just told me that I'm the first administrator who she's worked with in this building that is so involved.  That felt so good to hear because I feel like such a failure sometimes.  I feel like I'm not involved enough. I feel like I end up spending way more time in my office than I want. I feel like I'm not changing things fast enough.  I'm not having the impact that I want to have. 
• There's a long term patient who always asks for me.  She's kind of a drain because she just wants to hang out with me and I have so much to do.  But she's precious and I'm glad that maybe I can make life just a little bit better for her.
• The new young man I hired as maintenance director.  He allows me to speak truth into his life.  He is trying to do a really good job and is working hard.

Good things from the past week in my personal life:

• My youngest son.  He is such a godly young man that I'm amazed.  How did I get a son like this?! He calls me once a week and just shares what's going on in his life and asks what's up with me.  He works super hard in college and has all As while following a very difficult course of study (chemical engineering). He consistently is drawn to international students and forms friendships with them. Because his faith is such a part of his life, he's frequently discussing what he believes and how his faith affects his daily life, with his friends at school.  
• My daughter in law Rachel emailed me this week.  She shared details about what's happening in her life.  I live for this type of sharing!
• My husband.  He's constantly supportive.  He BBQs meat and makes salad so we can have healthy dinners.

Gosh, when I think on all of this, how can I be discouraged and frustrated.  I am so blessed.