Wonderful Words

As I read the following words this morning they burned within my heart:

Philippians 1:9-10 (MSG)

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

What's going on?

Sometimes I need to take time to reflect and see what's really important to me at a given time in my life and then prioritize and plan accordingly. To take time to see what's important so I know how to pray.

Three things I'm praying about are:

1. My relationship with my husband
I want to be more respectful and more accepting. He's a unique person and sometimes I'm way too critical.

2. My relationship with my middle son
We butt heads all the time. I want to build and encourage him in addition to holding him accountable and teaching him standards. I want to sow words of encouragement, praise, hope and love into his life.

3. My job
I want to manage the 47-bed well, bring in a new line of business to the open unit and either build the school or get rid of it and bring in a new line of business. I want to be an effective leader to my department heads; be there and give them what they need, help them stay on track and hold them accountable. I want to be a positive influence in the residents life and to pray over this facility and do my part to ensure God's spirit can be big there.

The naked soul

This book, "Anthology of Devotional Literature", that my husband found at a second hand store was an awesome find indeed!

Yesterday we read from another author that is well known to many but new to me - Jakob Bohme. We just read an excerpt entitled "The way to God's love" from his book "The Supersensual Life". Therein a wise Master is speaking to his Disciple. It's as if the Disciple's heart is mine when he laments:

"The entrance of the soul naked into the will of God, shutting out all imaginations and desires, and breaking down the strong partition which you mention, is indeed somewhat very terrible and shocking to human nature, as in the present state. Oh what shall I do, that I may reach this which I so much long for?"

I'm reminded of Jesus' words recorded in Luke 9:23-24 (MSG):

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?

Come to us like Rain

This morning I was totally captivated as the pastor read the following words from Hosea 6:3 (NASB):

"So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD
His going forth is as certain as the dawn;
And He will come to us like the rain,
Like the spring rain watering the earth."

Oh that I may press on to know God, that He would come to me like the rain with it's nourishment and refreshing!

I'm so acutely aware of my need of God.

My job is so much bigger than I can possibly do. If I let myself I'll be totally overwhelmed at work; or I could work way too many hrs at the expense of the rest of my life. I continue to fail with my middle son; it seems like I constantly bicker with him. The grace, mercy, forgiveness and love that is so essential for marriage to work does not at all come naturally or easily to me; I'm constantly struggling (and often fail). I'm coming up on 2yrs in this new town and still haven't made any close friends (but I'm grateful that I do have a few acquaintances who may yet grow into friends).

My point here is that I SO NEED GOD.

So my heart is encouraged to keep pressing God. To keep seeking to know Him more. To put aside my will and selfishness and be more about Him.

On their side

I delight in the Philippians 4:4-5 (MSG):

4-5 Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Two short verses packed with so much!

Celebrate - may my life be a celebration. May I never cease to see all that is good around me, all that is worthy of enjoyment. May I celebrate the gifts of life and health.

God is so good, so great , so mighty, so awesome. May I truly revel in Him. May I adore and keep His presence in my conscious throughout the day.

What an awesome concept - make it clear to all that you meet that you're on their side. May I not let my ego get in my way, may I not be so full of myself and my agenda that I miss out on the opportunity to truly see others. May I see opportunities to make others important, to give. May my attitude be one of collaboration.

Oh Heavenly Father, I'm so incapable of these things on my own. I fall so horribly short. Please work in my life and empower me to live this way...

Exhaustion

It seems like there are different seasons in my life which have a theme.

Right now the theme seems to be learning how to rely on God's strength and energy. The challenges at work and with my 15yr old son can leave me totally depleted and feeling like I've nothing left....

So I decided to turn to Philippians for my daily time in the word. It's been called the book of Joy and I figured I need joy right now especially. I keep returning to some verses I read there a few days ago; Philippians 2:12B - 13 (MSG):

Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.

Here I am again at that same point - it's got to be God's energy not mine!

I know I don't have what it takes to do all that's in front of me. I want to consciously grow in my ability to experience God's energy.