Abundant Living

What do you think?

2012-01-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

My oldest son Devon facebooked me these two youtubes:

http://youtu.be/1IAhDGYlpqY

http://youtu.be/Ru_tC4fv6FE

He suggested that I first view the first and then the second.

What are your thoughts on these?

Since Devon sent them, added to fact that Devon converted to Catholicism a couple of years ago, makes it apparant that he agrees with the second video.

I love my son more than words can express. I respect the man he's become.

But I can't really agree with the second video. I do not think the rock upon which Christ proclaimed He'd build His church was referring to the local church or religion; I think it was referring to faith in Christ.

If you know me at all you know that I love the local body. I participate faithfully in my local church and raised all three of my sons in church. So I appreciate Devon's love for the church as well. I know that God wants to work through His local body of Belivers in all the locations at which they meet, and I think He ordained the local church to teach and encourage in the faith. But, since the local church and religion are made up of people - it is indeed imperfect at best. Religion and church membership can not make you right with God - only Jesus can!

I'd be very interested in your responses to these two videos.

Gotta love Chuck Norris

2012-01-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

As a mother of three sons, one of whom studied Tang Soo Do karate for awhile, I've heard bits and pieces about Chuck Norris through the years. Perhaps what I've heard most are the Chuck Norris one liner macho quips. For some reason my youngest son adores these jokes. You know, the ones that go something like When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris or Some people wear superman pajamas, but superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. I'm sure that you've heard them too. I've also watched some of his movies with my sons or husband, it seems that something about him calls out to male psyche. Although my 86-year old mother still faithfully watches re-runs of Chuck Norris' TV series Walker, Texas Ranger; in her estimation, one of the best shows ever made.

But I've never really known anything much about the man. Perhaps that's why, when I was browsing through books to check out from the library and I happened upon his book entitled Against All odds, I decided to check out the CD version.

This weekend, while I've been cooking and cleaning, I've been listening to the book. I was so captivated that I even continued listening one evening after my work was completed. I sat and did my nails while listening, and then just sat and listened.

It's a wonderful book! Perhaps just a bit slow in the beginning with that predictable my life began this way kind of feel. But the book gets better and better as you progress. I also can't say that the transitions in the book are always smooth, but this man's life has just been so incredible that I was mesmerized. He really does have one of those larger than life stories.

He's a hero in a time and place when we desperately need male heroes.

One of the aspects of the book that endeared it to my heart was Norris' honesty. He's an open born again Christian but he, like myself, has failed many times in life. I so appreciated when he was transparent about his failures and called them exactly what they were - sin. I can relate to a Christian who has sinned, because I'm a sinner too. I always have a hard time with the people who have it all together (perhaps that's why I enjoy reading the Old Testament Bible accounts so much, these folks were just like me and really blew it sometimes but God chose to use them anyway!) I also adored hearing about how God in His goodness and grace took even Norris failures and used them, ultimately, for good. Norris shared about what he'd learned in life and about God's goodness, grace, and mercy. I found this book extremely inspiring.

Definitely a worthwhile read.

Praise and soaring with Eagles

2012-01-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been super tired? So exhausted that all you longed for was to just crawl into bed and forget the whole world?

I know I have been.

Lately I feel that way by 8PM at night! So weird for me since I've lived most of my life being a night owl. But this job and opening up a whole new operation with another new opening next door in July has me really whipped!

But you know what I've noticed? That sometimes, when I'm super tired and am certain that I have absolutely no energy left and there's nothing left to give, that something can come along to change it all. Maybe an opportunity to go do something really special that I never get to do (like spend time with Devon when he was home, or go to a concert with my old boss), or when I learn that a problem over which I've been trying not to stress (in Christian-ese we call this a "burden") has been solved (Christian-ese: "burden lifted"), or something super encouraging happens. Then all of the sudden my heart is light and my energy is renewed!

Have you ever had that happen?

Reminds me of Proverbs 13:12 (NIV): Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

This morning during my time with God I caught an insight into this rejuvenating, or renewing, experience in a different way.

To put this into context I'll mention that the work weeks have been brutal for me. There have been times during the past few months when I've planned a Friday night outing with John or friends, but have ended up so frazzled and exhausted by Friday night that I've ended up cancelling; so I've stopped planning Friday night activities. Last night found me crashed in bed, sound asleep, by 9:30PM (quite the exciting girl I must say-ha!). But I woke up at 1:30AM and my mind started looking at my upcoming staffing situation at work from every angle, I kept turning it over in my mind trying to make it work; finally I just got up and spent some time on the computer configuring some things and praying.

This morning when I came to my time with God I found myself singing songs of praise and worship. In my head I thought about how I could be singing all those I-need-You songs cuz I do so need Him. But all my heart could sing was worship of His greatness and thankfulness. Then my reading today was in Psalm 103 and the 5th verse (NLT) hit me in a new way: He fills my years with good things and I am made young again like the eagle. What's being described here is just like those rejuvenating experiences that I'm talking about above!

Praising God can have a rejuvinating effect. Praise can be how we receive these becoming "young", or renewed again, experiences that we read about in the Bible ( Isaiah 40:30-31). Just as an eagle is renewed when it allows the jut stream to carry it higher until it soars, as I rally all of my faculties to praise the Lord, I am renewed!

What about you, have you ever experienced God's renewing though Praise?

Healthier, Qieter, Connected

2011-12-31T08:04:00.000-08:00

Healtier, Qieter, Connected - those are my three focus words for the upcoming year.

Healthier
I don't want to set specific goals about how many pounds I'll lose or all the things I'll do but I want to focus on making some lifestyle changes. Just a few at a time. Lasting changes. I'm starting by actually going to the Doctor; something I never do. I'm going to find out my weight by their scales (always a few more pounds than our bathroom scale), cholestrol, and BMI. My work has a personal coach available via phone for a few sessions this upcoming year to set some goals and begin to make changes with an online tracking guide, so I'm going to take advanatage of it.

Quieter
I've become convicted that in the stress of the workplace and life that I've started to get into a pattern of thinking I'm "venting", but what I'm really doing is talking bad of others. I don't want to be that way and, by God's grace and power, I'm going to stop. May He put a guard on my lips. May I come to Him with my grief, anxiety, and frustration; find my peace and solace in Him so that I can give to others.

Connected
Sometimes it's easy for me to go through spiritual motions as it were. I want to have more quality time with God, be more connected. I desperately need Him to become the wife, mother, employee and friend that my heart longs to me. I need His vision and inspiration and direction. Not to metion that He is so great, so awesome, so WORTHY that I want to be connected to Him.

A few choice Words

2011-12-29T06:51:00.000-08:00

As I was driving to work yesterday the morning show radio host was talking about new year's resolutions. He said that he doesn't make them. He explained that for him that approach represents a pass or fail situation and he likes a more progress-oriented position. He said that a preacher years ago suggested an approach that he's been using ever since he heard about it. The idea is to pick a word for the year, a focus. His example was that last year he picked "deeper"; he wanted more in his relationships.

This approach appeals to me because I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person. I can get bogged down and discouraged by resolutions. I'm trying to change and to approach life more in terms of the 12-step slogan It's about Progress, not Perfection.

So this concept has been on the back burner of mind, simmering, since I heard it. I'm thinking that maybe I'll pick 1 - 3 words. I'm praying about it.

If you were to do this, what word(s) would you pick?

Who's teaching Who?

2011-12-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

There's this woman at work who used to drive me crazy. Then I grew fond of her and thought I could maybe help her in her faith. Now I realize that I'm learning from her.

Our work is a brand new thing, a facility just opening. Unfortunately the large company that owns us did next to nothing to train or provide for my department, which is medical. The week before we opened up I was trying to both orient my employees (when I myself had not been oriented) as well as scurry around trying to figure out what we were exactly going to be doing and how to get prepared for it. To say that it wasn't the best of times would be an understatement.

Enter into this situation Meg. She's a nurse practitioner, extremely bright, and a natural born leader. She's also rather pushy and tends to look out for number one.

Once before we opened, when I was out ordering supplies and dealing with vendors and construction guys, she told the rest of the medical staff that the problem was me. That things were chaotic because I'm not a nurse. But if she was in charge things would be much better. I wasn't sure how to deal with it so I just got them all together and told them that I knew things were crazy but that when times get tough we've got to stick together. We've got to commit to refrain from attacking one another or speaking bad of anyone in the group. I told them that if they have concerns they need to come to me, but that we are to support one another and not attack one another.

Later I confronted Meg in private and she denied the whole thing.

Then the facility opened and that week was terrible. Next to no systems were in place and we didn't know what we were doing. I was working 16-hour days and on the weekends trying to figure this out and make it right. My boss' boss, the VP of the healthcare company that is a subsidiary of the company that owns this facility, was there from day one until the middle of our second week. At first she acted like I was an idiot, but then she realized what was going on; that I had not been trained or given any tools. So she set about trying to give me a 9 day straight crash course in the midst of everything. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least, but at least it helped some. She also told me that Meg had came to her and tried to get my job. But when she found out that I made less money than her, she decided it was better that I have the job. Plus Meg always leaves at the end of 8 hours and saw that I put in long hours.

Since that time she's been supportive of me being in my position.

But I held a grudge.

It was also weird to me because Meg is a very vocal Christian. I've come to see it as just part of her general pushiness. Yet, during all of this, the Holy Spirit began to speak to me. I felt that gnawing of my conscious about my bad attitude toward Meg. So, truly spiritual person that I am, I started thinking that maybe I could be an encouragement to Meg in her faith.

When she told me (now that she's decided to like me) that I shouldn't work so hard because companies just use you and take advantage of you; I very piously told her that I wasn't working for the company but that, as it says in Colossians 3:23, I was working for God. When she saw the warden really giving it to me and later she and I talked about it, I admitted that he was right. I said I was going to go to him; she asked why, he wouldn't come to you, and I said that what others did to me didn't matter it's how I act that I'm accountable for. When Meg and the physician and I were talking one day and we'd all been kind of trashing someone else I finally stopped talking and said how ashamed I was of myself, that I was talking about about another person. Meg said but it's true; to which I replied that not every true thing needed to be spoken. Oh yeah, I was thinking I could be such a great example to her.

Then the Holy Spirit finally got through to me and I realized that it's me who needs to get a grip. It's me who needs God. I'm way too big of a mess up to be an example to anyone. Anything good in me is only by God's grace; and it's His grace that I needed to be extending to Meg. Not His judgement or my self righteousness.

Then I started realizing that Meg's like me; she's an imperfect sinner saved by the grace of God. Like me, she's got strengths and weaknesses. I adored the way she responded when the dental assistant came and told me that her grandfather had died and she would have to miss some days of work; I sat there listening to the girl but Meg got right up and gave her a great big hug. I watched the girl melt into that hug-she needed that. Or when the warden was being grouchy and complaining, Meg comforted him in a bold way that I never could have. Yep, the truth is that I am learning from Meg.

Has that every happened to you, have you ever thought you were so much better than someone else and then God turned it all around and you realized that you could learn from them?

Grateful for His grace

2011-12-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

As I was reading in Jonah this morning these words of Jonah's about God delighted me:

I knew this was going to happen! That's why I ran off to Tarshish! I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness! (Jonah 4:1B-2, MSG)

Isn't that just like God?!

And isn't that just human to sometimes be upset when we feel someone else isn't getting punished the way we think they should?

This morning I'm just plain grateful. Grateful for His grace and mercy. I mess up constantly and I need him.

What about you?

When the going gets tough I need to be grateful

2011-12-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

Times have been just plain tough for me these past few months. I’ve battled frustration and exhaustion. Due to work and life demands I’ve often not even gotten enough sleep. But I know that when life gets tough I need God. Need to do things His way. That my hope is in Him. So I’m trying to choose to note, and reflect on, the blessings that come my way every day.

Colossians 3:15 directs the followers of God to:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

With this in mind I want to spend time today in gratitude and reflecting on recent blessings:

My niece has been studying some and says she’s actually starting to understand her math class sometimes. (She came to live with us this past August and her last progress report had 3 Fs and 1 D)

This same niece came to church today with her boyfriend.

The above mentioned boyfriend claims to be a Christian. I think they’re kind of the same type of Christians; she and he both have heard the Word and responded but are enticed by the world and are following after those things right now. But at least he’s open to the gospel and truth.

My middle son is open and honest with me. Even if right now he’s not sharing the things I wish he would; he’s into drinking alcohol and partying.

This same middle son is getting decent grades in college and has started a part time job now that football season is over. I’m also grateful that he’s in college on a football scholarship. Mostly grateful that God does have His hand on this young man's life and that my prayers for him are not in vain.

Friday afternoon the assistant warden at work came and sat in my office. He told me that the warden asked him to come talk with me. They wanted to let me know that they recognize that there’s no one in the facility that works harder or more hours than me. That they realize that I am getting nothing from anyone in the company and am on my own. They recognize that they had been beating me up all week and been so hard on me, because the customer ICE has been hard on them. They understand that many of the problems are not anything I can do anything about, and those that are, they see that I am working to resolve.

Oldest son Devon will be home for Christmas (I haven’t seen him since his college graduation in May 2010).

My husband John is encouraging, supportive, and loves me. That we we get to have time alone together.

That a friend took me to a thoroughly enjoyable Christmas home and quilt tour yesterday put on by the local quilt guild.

It’s beautiful and I live in Wrightwood with the clear skies and majestic tall pines.

Even though I’m tired and have so many challenges before me, I have so much to be thankful for. May I choose to think on these things.

Blessings keep coming

2011-11-29T19:00:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking about how blessings seem to follow the really tough times if you persevere, and about choosing to look for, acknowledge, and enjoy the blessings –and boy are those thoughts still relevant!

Yesterday was a really bad awful terrible day.

I worked 13 long hours and it seemed like nothing could go right. I had an hour meeting with the warden and assistant warden that turned out to be what I think of as an ambush meeting. The warden had emailed me over the weekend when I’d emailed updates to him regarding various detainee specific events, that he wanted to meet with me. I assumed it would be regarding all these events and came to the meeting prepared with a print out about detainee specific events and system issues. However, as the meeting progressed, it became apparent the topic of the meeting was how-medical-keeps-messing-up-and-had-better-stop-it. At the very end of the meeting the warden asked, so do you have anything for us? By that time I was exhausted and spent . He also said he’d like to do this every Monday and Friday and include the Chief of Security in our meetings; you can bet I’ll be ready to speak to their issues next time.

Because I did know about the meeting I got to work early; around 5:30AM. Since it was early I did not eat prior to work. The day was hectic, just one thing after another, so I didn’t get a chance to take a lunch break or eat. By the time I went to leave at the end of the day I was so exhausted that I absolutely could not remember by ID number to put my key back into the key watcher. I had to embarrassedly call the assistant warden on his cell, explain the situation, and request direction – I was mortified! Fortunately he was really kind to me and, after telling me what I needed to do, he told me to go home and get some rest.

So this morning I got to work early again and I prayed the whole way there. Today was another tough day but I had a strategy. I’ve started my campaign to train and delegate. We hired on some more staff so now there are enough people to do the work and I can get some of this way too much work off of my shoulders.

Sometimes it’s the little things that really get to me. That’s how it was today; it was those few small bright rays of blessing that made it all worthwhile. The staff who must have noticed that I often miss out on lunch and saved me a plate and brought it to me. Those staff who came to me requesting training and duties that I could delegate to them. It was as if some of my staff were actually looking out for me – and I don’t take that for granted. I’m grateful.

What are some of the little blessings that have come your way lately?

Unexpected blessings from unexpected places

2011-11-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

You many have caught on by now that I work in an immigration detention center. I'm the health services administrator.

This means that I work around a bunch of alpha male macho men all the time. Not any of my staff, because in medical we're just a bit different than the rest of the facility, but the rest of the building are pretty much that way.

Sometimes they drive me nuts.

My experience is that many immigration agents really do think they're all that. That male wardens really are, when you're blessed to get a good one like I have, great leaders but really intense. Sometimes I find the intensity draining.

Recently I was talking with my oldest son Devon on the phone. We were sharing about what's going in our lives. At one point I was talking about how frustrated I am with how these guys all treat me sometimes at work. He commented that "you know it's because you're so nice all the time and they can treat you that way". (Devon works in the macho world of the US Army.) To which I replied that I think nice is grossly under rated in our society. That nice people make the world better.

I've thought about it since then, and even through sometimes people may mistake my kindness for weakness, I still believe I'm who God made me to be and that the world needs kind people. People who actually care about how others feel.

But sometimes the Holy Spirit in me prompts me to stand up for myself.

Just such an incident occurred recently during a department director's meeting with the warden. There are about 15 people in this meeting, most of them men. The warden started saying stuff about "not to be disrespectful" and talking trash about my psychiatrist in medical. Specifically in terms of his management of this one specific detainee. Without thinking about it, I heard myself utter the words: "but you are being disrespectful sir". I then explained that that our psychiatrist, psychologist, NP who has a specialty in psych, and myself who ran secured psych facilities for 10 years all see the situation the same way and it's him who has the outlier opinion.

The room was silent for that second after I spoke. I felt uncomfortable.

Then the warden started laughing. Possibly because I'm always so nice and put up with so much stuff from these guys all the time and here I was, in a public venue, calling him out, and it was just so unusual that it struck him as funny. He was very tickled and laughed quite a bit and even made a comment to the effect that the two guys (himself and the head ICE man on site) were the only two who thought this detainee was crazy and that they were the two crazy men. Then the meeting continued.

Afterward, I caught the female administrative lieutenant who was in the meeting and asked if she thought I'd been disrespectful. She smiled hugely and said no, that she wanted to cheer for me.

A day later I received an email from the warden wishing me a happy Thanksgiving and these words:

"I appreciate your hard work, integrity, and honesty. You have a difficult, lonely, and thankless job. We will keep making progress. I do hope you know I am joking about making diagnosis. I don't have a clue and I definitely respect and trust you"

Words can't express what a blessing this email was to me!

How about you, have you had any unexpected blessings lately?

The blessing always seems to come after

2011-11-26T09:45:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but for me I've repeatedly noticed this pattern in life. The pattern is that I get discouraged and tired and life gets really hard, so hard that I've just about given up. After things have gotten so bad that I feel like I just can't keep going, and by His grace and power I keep on, it's then that I see the blessings flow one after another.

For the last couple of days I've been thinking about these words from James 5:10-11, I adore the way Peterson has paraphrased them in The Message:

"Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail."

Mentors are people who invest into your life. So I've decided I'm going to read anew the minor prophets so that their stories can affect my thoughts and perspectives. I also want to take some time to think on all the blessings that God's been bringing my way lately because sometimes I can get so busy looking at the tough stuff that I fail to enjoy all the good stuff that's right there.

How about you, have you noticed recently in your life that it's only after you've persevered that you've experienced His blessings?

Most excellent harmonies

2011-11-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

Peterson, in The Message paraphrase, says Philippians 4:9 this way:

God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies

I want his most excellent harmonies in me and my life!

But I've had attitude problems lately. Attitude toward my boss on the GEO care side who gives me little to nothing in the way of instruction, training, or anything else I need, but garners up any good results to be attributed to himself. Of course he insures that any blame there may be to be had comes my way.

Yet I know in my head that I only need to run my race; to do that which God has set before me. I don't need to concern myself with what he does...yet I struggle in my emotions.

Hate to say it, but it doesn't end there. I've had attitude about my niece who came to live with us in August and who is basically failing in all her classes. Of course she was failing before she came to live with us too; but I'd thought we might be able to make a difference. We sure haven't yet. So I've let myself get out of sorts regarding this as well.

So it was with these struggles that I came to God today. Came and forced myself to praise Him (but have you ever noticed that once you make yourself start praising God; joy, reverence, and awe just take over?!) Chose to read aloud Philippians 4:4-9.

As I read the words there I felt impressed to spend some time this week looking at the topics listed in verse 8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

To spend time in prayer, meditation, the Word, and where ever else the Spirit takes me, on each of these topics. That these thoughts would be more prevalent in my heart and mind. That God will use these thoughts to bring His peace to me and make me an excellent harmony.

Confused and Tired

2011-10-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit confused right now.

I started a new job in August that I thought was what God had for me. Now I'm beginning to wonder....

We opened up on August 29 and since then my life has been working 12-16hr days 6 days a week, being on the phone with work frequently when I'm not there, being awakened during the night due to work calls, learning by constantly messing up (verses being trained), stress, constantly hearing from the warden how I've messed up. Add to that that we had 2 physicians who were over the top horrible (one was a princess who lasted 4 days and was very mean to the staff and the other was an unmedicated Bi-Polar who yelled and talked incessantly - honestly, I'm not making this stuff up!) that did not work out; so I've been without for much of this time. A nurse practitioner who loves God and is really skilled but who has missed 1/3 of the work days due to various reasons. Also we've been down an RN for 2 weeks. Maybe I'm dramatic but I feel like the children of Israel when Pharaoh had them continue to make bricks but did not give them the needed materials (Exodus 5:6-9). Also, I am willing to work really hard but I HATE when I can not do things well. I desire excellence; and right now I can not say that anything in my department is totally together. Even though it's not all my fault because I was not given what I need, I'm still here and it's me who's going to have to make it right.

On the other hand I've got some incredible, hard working, gifted, smart, likeable, and dedicated people working for me. I find my heart very attached to them; part of it is because we're going through so much together. We all love what we do and we're getting better every day. It's just that we were all thrown in here and told to do it from the ground up and we've been figuring out what it is and how to do it (such a ridiculous way for a large company to do things!) So I'm tired, and often feel like I could perform better if I could get some real rest.

I'm just sustaining in the rest of life so I know I've been a total wash out where a lot of things are concerned such as my husband, youngest son still at home, niece who came to live with us, Kingdom Bloggers, Women's ministry with our church, etc. I have been able to continue to have the very small group Bible study that meets at my home twice a month and it was like a steam of goodness washing over me this past week! The Word is good and I take time for God each morning....yet I feel guilty for struggling so.

I'm just kind of trying to figure out if I'm doing something wrong here and I'm not where I'm supposed to be, or if this is just a difficult time. Or am I where I'm supposed to be but I'm stupid or something? Am I doing something all wrong and not seeing it and that's what the problem is? Am I perhaps defective? I'm so physically tired that it makes it difficult to know for sure. I feel like this job is my responsibility so, until I know differently, I must do it to the best that I possibly can. I just can't tell if God is just using this to grow me and make me better, or if I really missed it and shouldn't be here at all.

Have you ever gone through a time in your life where it seemed like nothing was working right no matter how hard you tried? What helped you during that time?

Inward Reservoirs

2011-10-07T06:39:00.000-07:00

I'm overly sensitive.

Sometimes I get caught up in trying to defend myself when I perceive criticism. My frequent prayer is that God would free me from these patterns of mine.

This morning I was reading in Luke 16, and this part of the 15th verse caught my eye:

You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others

Yep - sounds just like me sometimes. Initially as I read this I felt conviction and prayed for forgiveness.

But then as I was praying and meditating on this I was reminded about how I have freedom in the Spirit through grace and justification by faith alone. My security and peace in the face of my own failures, or even the false criticisms of othes, is not in my ability to explain why I messed up or explain how I did not. My security and peace flows out of drawing on the inward reserviors of God's assurance.

I needed this today. I love my job but one of the things I find frusterating is that frequently I am in situations where no matter what I do, I'm going to hear about it from the Warden. Fortunately the Warden is someone who I respect, admire and like. He's someone who is very respectful in his demeanor; it's just that this is a difficult environment to navigate and is extremely political. I've been praying about this a lot lately, and here this morning the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart!

What greater joy can I have than knowing that I am loved by God and acceptable in His sight because of the grace that's mine through Jesus?! These truths really put it all in perspective for me.

What's happened to you lately that's put things into perspective for you?

The gift of an open heart

2011-10-01T08:57:00.001-07:00

This morning I was gripped, as usual, by the drama in the story as I read from Acts 16:11-40. But what really hit was these words from the second half of the 14th verse:

"As she listed to us, the Lord opened her heart"

I was struck anew with how it is God who opens our hearts; for salvation, for His presence, for His power, for understanding and wisdom. I was struck anew with my intense need for Him.

I'm so prone to wander over to the natural, to live by what I see in front of me. Lately, with all the challenges of opening up a new facility (long hours, calls from work during the night that interrupt my sleep, training staff and not always being successful, learning how things work, etc.), I've been tired. I've struggled with discouragement.

These words bring me back to God. May He open my heart up to Him.

I don't understand it all or have it all together, but somehow, I do know that it is in Him, in His presence and by His power in me, that life begins to work. It is in Him that I find beauty and joy.

This morning, as I sat out on our deck in the quiet of morning solitude, with the beauty of a blue sky above me and pine trees around me, I could experience His peace and refreshing well up within me. I had that sense that everything will be all right. I experienced the pleasure of being able to absorb the beauty around me.

How's God opened your heart up lately?

The blessing of a godly husband

2011-09-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

One of God's greatest blessings to me is my husband John.

I'm feeling rather bad because I've been either at work (12-16 hour days) or on the phone to work, a LOT of time during the past 3 weeks. I've barely cooked for the family, haven't been there to enjoy time with John, and haven't been as affectionate as would be normal. Most men would probably complain and encourage me to get a different job!

But John knows my heart. He knows my passion for this work and how I want to get this operation up and going and for it to be successful.

So, instead of complaining, he encourages.

This morning he came to me and shared a devotional that he'd read and had caused him to think of me. The devotion was out of Exodus 16:1-12 ; about when the nation of Israel left captivity in Egypt. How easy it was to look back, when current hardships came instead of trusting God and moving forward. He told me that he's impressed that he sees me doing that very thing; he doesn't hear the words "I want to quit" out of my mouth, that he keeps hearing me speak words of hope for the future.

So I confessed the truth to him that I've thought about quitting plenty of times. But my spirit is never at peace when I think of that. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be. No matter how hard it is.

I did not receive adequate training to prepare me for anything (nor did my poor staff since I was the one who was supposed to have trained them!) But with each mistake made, with each situation that goes poorly, I am learning a better way to do things. Certainly this is not the best way for things to be handled but it's what I've got and, by God's grace and power, I'm going to make it work.

But what a bonus that I get John!

That, when I'm home from a terrible, discouraging day, I can get words of strength, hope, and encouragement from him.

What about you, has God blessed you with a partner or friend who's there for you? What kind of difference does that make in your life?

Battling Giants

2011-09-11T09:28:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been in a situation that you felt was impossible?

I've been in such a situation lately. I was supposed to start a new job on August 1. I'd been given the final you're hired (conditionally to passing an Immigration customs enforcement background check) near the middle of July. They called me in 4 days before I was to start to help them prepare for an audit. So I juggled the job I was still working, while coming in as many hours as possible to help out. I was given a bunch of polices all printed and in disarray and a CD and told to put all the policies, with the corresponding forms, into a binder. I finally set aside the printed papers because they were a mess (missing pages, in no kind of order, etc.) and just printed everything out and organized into a large binder. I'd also been given some standards on which we were going to be judged so I went through those and wrote down corresponding policies that we had, and well as ones we did not have and questions.

Then I went through a one week general orientation that everyone who will be working there went through. This orientation was a welcome-to-working-in-a-correctional-setting kind of training. Then I went through 2 days of learning an over view of each department in the facility. Then I was handed that binder that I'd put together (only it was about half the size of what I'd put together because someone had taken out a LOT of the policies and forms) and told that supplies had been ordered so myself and my team needed to figure out how we wanted to set things up as they came in and to get ready and train my team and set it all up. I kept asking for a list of what was ordered and finally got one 2 days before we opened (all in all we had 4 weeks prior to opening; 1 of which was spent in that general orientation, 2 days on site and then I had 13 days with my team; half of which came in a week later then the initial group). The list I was given did not include but half of what myself, an ER RN and a wound care LVN could figure we'd need. So I set about trying to get the other needful items ordered. I kept asking the man who hired me questions since I really didn't understand the set up but he was vague and never really told me anything.

Then we opened on August 29.

Fortunately my boss' boss came in on August 29 and began showing me the company systems. The problem was that at that point I was both doing the job and learning the job along with my entire staff who were in the same situation. Also, this woman had her own job she was doing while giving some time to me. To say that it's been crazy would be an understatement. I worked all of Labor Day weekend because my thought was that if my boss' boss was there and willing to teach me, I'd take all I could get from her. She left on Wednesday the 7th. I still do not know all the systems, am not sure if we have all the supplies we need, am still learning the policies (a 4-inch binder of them), and have found that many policies simply say that the H.S.A. (who is me) will make the site specific procedures. Add to this that the physician is over the top difficult to work with and talks a LOT so it's difficult to get work accomplished, plus he orders a bunch of unnecessary tests and sends people out inappropriately, all of which makes a lot more work for the rest of the medical team. In the midst of this our nurse practitioner went off on sick leave for 8 days.

Basically, it all just feels like too much. As if I'm under a pile from which I do not see myself (or really anyone else if they were given the exact same circumstances) having the ability to create order and stability.

So I'm meditating on Jesus' words from Matthew 18:27:

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

Sure I know that he was specifically referring to salvation in this passage. But I think there's a principle that can be lifted out here about how our God can do what we can not. So, since I know that God gave me this job, and that He desires me to bring Him glory, then I'm choosing to believe that He will give me the abilities beyond what I have in the natural to bring this all together. I'm counting on Him for stamina and endurance, mental ability and wisdom, and for me to get things done no matter how many new obstacles keep coming my way.

My husband John keeps reminding me that Joshua and Caleb had to take the promised land; they didn't just get to walk into it, they had battle giants to enter into what God had for them. Perhaps all these problems are my giants to battle.

What about you, do you have any giants in your life right now that you're looking to God to do the impossible regarding?

Be very careful when you turn down a Facebook Friend Request...

2011-09-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

My names Tony C and...okay...I'm a social media geek.

Now I'm not saying I need a 12-step program or anything like that...just yet...but there are few days that go by that I'm not in touch with someone via one or several social media tools.

Come to think of it...I'm using one now.

Where I attend church, I've been adopted as the social media dude. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, YouVersion and Blogger are all in my arsenal to decimate information about the love of Christ and demonstrate that love firsthand. I've seen my share of skeptics that believe the internet in good for nothing but evil. Quickly I always counter with- If Satan's there, then Christian need to bring Jesus to the fight. In my opinion, nothing ticks off the Master of Lies more than Christians parading Jesus on his claimed turf.

So what does this have to do with how God communicates with me? Is He one of your Facebook Friends or something? Where's the connection?

As I stated, Facebook is nearly a daily ritual for me. I pull it up on a tab and leave it open most of the day at work taking time to occasionally venture over and see what's happening on my News Feed. At lunch, I often shut my office door and spend a little one-on-one with Abba Father in the name of the Son. Before doing so, I check the continuously updated prayer request list on my desktop and glance at my Facebook profile page where the sidebar list of ten friends is always rotating new smiling faces into view. I pray a general prayer for them too.

Here's where my story gets interesting. Since the beginning of the year, I've tried focusing a bit more on that revolving friend list. On many occasions, a particular person will stand out to me. Not long after implementing this exercise, I felt a surge leading to contact one of the friends about church. I was by no means more than an acquaintance to this person, but I stepped at on faith that the Spirit was drawing me to this person. So, I sent a Facebook message...

The very next day this person contacted me back enthusiastic about my message. Within a month, he was coming to church. Add another month, and he was attending my Sunday School class. Since starting, he has been faithful in attendance going on several months. Praise God!

I don't believe in coincidence, so I opened up to more leads under the assumption these were people God was directing me to contact. Invites, words of encouragement, offers of support and prayer have all been on the table so far, and without fail, the response from each has been met with genuine warmth and appreciation. To God goes the glory always!

Honestly, if someone had come to me just a few short years back and proclaimed God was communicating with them through Facebook or MySpace, I would have smiled politely and probably eye rolled when they walked away. The very thought shames me today (as it should) for a number of reasons. None probably more shameful than I'm the very guy that has the following as the signature for all my emails:

For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37

Practice what you preach Tony C...practice what you preach.

Thanks Tracy for having me on board. I write not only for Kingdom Bloggers each Friday but also on my personal blog at Tony C Today. Love to have you come be a part!

Hearing God Isn't Only For the Holiest People

2011-09-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

I used to think hearing God speak was a mystical experience, made available only to the holiest of holy people. And at best, it was a one-off – kind of like Abraham. He heard God say, “Go,” and then nothing for the next 20 years. Let me say for the record, I’ve been a Christian since I was 6 and I’ve had direction and leading from the Lord, but I never heard his voice. I didn’t know I could hear it and so I didn’t pursue it.

In 2003, I moved to a new community. My Man, my Boy and I changed from urbanites to suburbanites. It had been years and years since I had to choose a church and even then, I usually followed a friend. I didn’t know anyone in my new community so I made a very logical plan to choose a church: I picked 3 churches and I was going to make a visit to each of them 3 times and then I was going to make a decision.

Some time, during the first 3 weeks, I saw another church closest to my home that I thought I would add to my choices. Initially it wasn’t on the list because it was a Mennonite Brethren church and I had been trying to distance myself from the culture since leaving home after high school; I certainly didn’t want to be part of the faith.

On the 4^th Sunday in my new community, I walked into the MB community church for the first time. As I walked into the foyer, I heard a voice – it seemed audible in my head, but it wasn’t. The voice said, “This is where you are going to serve.” Um, excuse me? That certainly wasn’t my voice. I wasn’t looking for a place to serve; I was looking for a place to meet my needs. It wasn’t Satan either because that would be sending me to work for the other team. That left only God.

I didn’t return to any of the previous 3 churches. I had found my church because God spoke to me and I heard it.

It’s been seasons of ups and downs at that church and throughout it all, I heard God speak. (You can read about it some of the recent changes in a post I wrote, here). Over the past 8 years, I’ve had other conversations with God. I’ve seen friends leave and I wandered whether it was my turn to leave but God always reminded me about what he said to me the first time.

Epilogue: God is always speaking but men haven’t perceived it (Job 33:14); once I learned the truth, I’ve been actively pursuing conversation with the Lord. Holiness is desired but isn’t required to hear God.

My name is Andrea York and I want to be a trophy wife. Every Wednesday, I join Tracy and the other Kingdom Bloggers for a weekly commentary of various topics and I write regularly about kingdom living on my own blog, Write Down the Revelation.

Was That You?

2011-09-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

By David of Fire Grace
Thanks Tracy, for hosting this week's round of Kingdom Bloggers! I love your blog, and enjoyed my last guest post quite some time ago - like 2010!

This week you'll be hearing personal stories from the Kingdom Bloggers about how God speaks to us. They are personal as our relationship with the Lord; no pattern, no formula, no cut and dried, sure fire way to know that it is God. However; as His sheep, we grow accustom to hearing his voice.

Here is what happened to me:

Many years ago, sometime in the early 1980s I got fired up about Jesus. Some how I was set on fire in my spirit and started to devour the Word of God. I bought a set of Moody Bible Institute study guides, along with Unger's Bible Handbook, a Concordance and a Lexicon. I set to work to learn all there was to know about God! Although I had a genuine conversion experience and would close my eyes and feel the presence of God, I hadn't really heard his voice - yet!

My relationship with Jesus was using him as a spiritual bellhop, asking, asking, asking, but never expecting to hear him. I did all sorts of Bible stuff, went t seminary, and then Bible School. Still, asking, asking, asking, and not hearing. I have a relationship with the book, and I could one-up most folks in Greek, Hebrew and traditional Christian Doctrine; and I had a bad case of spiritual smugness along with a dose of intellectual elitism.

Growing up was tough, because the church never really discipled anyone. They just rammed Bible down our throats and asked us to work our way into a personal ministry which was mostly setting up chairs, or making coffee. The praying and preaching was done by the professionals.

There was one man who believed in me. He invited me to do a talk about study on a men's retreat. he knew that I had read hundreds of Christian books, and watched me go through the Bible studies and school. All of the talks were reviewed by a peer group. It was tough going for me and my feelings were easily hurt, but I persisted.

After months of prayer and preparation for the retreat, there I stood with 60 men in front of podium. They had an intercessor in the chapel praying for me, for the talk, and for the me to receive it. I started - and some where about 3/4 the way through I felt inspired to talk about my conversion, the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and my comical view of the woman taken in adultery.

It was all unscripted, but God moved in a way I had never seen Him.

When it was all over, one of the priests gave me a hug, and then I heard the voice of the Lord. "I am calling you to ministry." Simple, clear, and certain, that I was heard. It is pretty cool that God speaks Anglican, because I thought it would be in the Episcopal Church. I was wrong, and God was right. I would be over 10 years before I really heard God on a regular basis in so many situations I can't name them all. It is common place for this Christian, and the key to fulfilling my destiny!

How about you, can you look back see that God was in control of your destiny?

I feel strongly both ways

2011-08-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

In the last post I was thinking about how I, wrongly, let my bad experiences affect my participation in Christian gatherings where Believers participate in all the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Today I want to look a bit closer at my experiences, what the Word says, and what that means.

In that last post I said that I'd been in a church for three years where things ranged from well meaning Believers who, simply because of that charismatic culture, made "power of the Spirit" things happen, to downright misuse of situations to manipulate people. I want to look a bit closer at this because writing helps me process my thoughts, because I hope that some may be able to relate to my experiences, and because thinking about concrete situations helps make conceptual ideas real.

An example of a well meaning cultural make-happen was this couple that I knew. These were wonderful people who really loved God and desired to minister His love, grace, forgiveness, salvation, and power to people. This couple ministered in jails, prisons, hospitals and homes. They truly were good people. But one day I was watching them pray for people. Each person that they prayed for was "slain in the Spirit" and fell over. But there was one young woman who was very new to the church and the culture and they prayed for her; she obviously did not know she was supposed to fall over, and she did not. But the funny thing was that the wife in this couple had her hand on the woman's head as they prayed and kept firmly pressing. So what ended up happening was the young woman being prayed for would keep stepping back and the woman doing the praying would keep pressing forward; it ended up that they were practically doing a walk-back around the room. I quickly realized what was happening and, for some reason, caught the husband's eye (he had been praying with his wife for the young woman). He and I shared one of those super brief moments when you realize what the other is thinking and we were both amused.

An example of a manipulation was a specific prophecy over the church janitor by the Sr pastor's wife. This was a large church that had their own 2 year school of ministry that was attended by people wanting to become ordained and go into full time Christian work. The janitor attended this school. One morning the Sr pastor's wife called the janitor up in front of the church for a "word from God". I don't remember all of it but it was very encouraging to the man; all about how he had the cleanest hands in the church and how God has new, big things for him right around the corner. Two weeks later the Sr. Pastor and his wife had a supposed revelation from God that the three other pastors were meant to "leave the nest" and no longer be pastors at that church any more. Again, because I was privy to much of the happenings behind the scenes and knew all three of those pastors who received that word that day, I knew that none of them had felt that they were meant to leave that specific local church. But all three of them had been asking questions about some financial situations that just didn't seem right. It sure looked to me as if they were getting rid of the "trouble makers" and paving the road for the janitor to become a new pastor. The janitor had no idea about any financial misdeeds. I also happened to know that the janitor was a good guy who was in severe denial and struggling intensely with an alcohol addiction that would have prevented him from being able to minister until he dealt with that and experienced some time of sobriety.

When I look at these situations now, in light of what I've read in Chan's book Forgotten God, I see things a bit differently then I did at the time. At the time I figured that this church represented most charismatic churches and decided to attend a non-charismatic church. But now, as I'm looking at 1 Thessalonians 5:19-24, I see that God calls me to test the spirits. This scripture does not say to just believe whatever you hear as long as it's said in a church; it calls Believers to specifically test prophecy and to hold onto what is good. I did the opposite. In a sense I did test the spirit and see that it was wrong, but I held onto what was wrong and let it prevent me from continuing to participate with other Believers in prophecy in the context of community and accountability as God had intended. What I should have done was let go of that one bad prophecy, perhaps even that one corrupted church, but continue to have my heart open to God speaking to His people through prophecy.

I find today that I really am open to doing that, but continue to have difficulty finding a group of Christians that participate in all the gifts of the spirit in a healthy manner. It seems as if the pendulum swings from one end of the continuum to the other. My experience with local churches is that they either over emphasize the gifts and abuse prophecy or on the other end of the continuum they ignore it all together.

Am I the only one with this experience? Do you see a polarity in the local church with regard to practice of all the gifts of the Spirit?

In light of this challenge, I'm sure grateful for the 23rd and 24th verses in this Thessalonians passage:

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. "

These words remind me that I don't have to sweat it because it's not all up to me - it's up to God. He is faithful and He will bring me to where He wants me to be.

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch

2011-08-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'll let you in on a truth of which my kids are very
much aware - I'm old.

I can still remember how excited we were at my school when I was in 6th grade; the administration had let us bring a turn table out beside the building at recess a couple of days a week and play records. We thought we were so cool out there grooving to the music. Some of the stuff we listened to was really cheesy. One such group was the Osmund Brothers. They had a hit song entitled One bad apple. The basic premise of this song was that one bad experience in a situation (in the case of the song the situation was being "in love") does not mean that the entire situation is bad.

I was reminded of that song this week as I was thinking about the second chapter of Chan's book Forgotten God. He points to the passage in 1 Thessalonians 5:19-20 that commands Believers to not quench the Spirit and to not treat prophecies with contempt. The questions and thoughts that he brought up in that second chapter have been bouncing around in the back of my mind for the past week.

One experience that Chan relates in his book is similar to my own; he talks about how, when he read those words in 1 Thessalonians 5:19, he basically assumed he wasn't quenching the Spirit and moved on. That's been me; since I love God and want to live for Him I kind of assumed that of course I wasn't quenching the Spirit. Yet I've been extremely closed off toward most prophecies.

You see the problem is experience. When you have good experiences that sets you up toward something favorably, but when you have bad experiences it has the opposite effect. I spent 3 years in a charismatic church where I observed and experienced many abuses of prophesy and the supposed power of the Holy Spirit. Initially attending that church had been fun and exciting. Every week we believed we'd hear from God. There was always something fresh and new. Unfortunately as I got more involved, and because I was privy to many behind the scenes happenings, I began to realize that much of what was going on had nothing to do with God. Things ranged from well meaning Believers who, simply because of that charismatic culture, made "power of the Spirit" things happen, to downright misuse of situations to manipulate people.

So I took that one "bad apple"/bad experience and let it make me, to quite an extent, give up on participating with other Believers in settings where they practiced all the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

What about you, have you ever let one bad experience sour you on experiencing all God has for you?

Looking at the whole

2011-07-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

It's always seemed to me that I should emphasize the things that God does. We all know that there are some things talked about repeatedly in the Bible; like God's love for us, our sin, and His provision of Jesus - it's in there from Genesis through Revelation.

One of the thing that Chan does in his companion workbook to Forgotten God, is have you look up 15 different Scripture passages about the Holy Spirit (I've linked those passages here to each of these 4 blue words.) As I've spent time thinking on these scriptures during the last 3 mornings, I've noticed that only a few of these are about the miraculous. There's more emphasis on the change the Holy Spirit brings in us and the power.

There's one Christian woman at work who's always talking about the miraculous and God's power. But I've noticed that people don't tend to like her over much; she's sort of self-absorbed and difficult. It's almost like who cares if you've seen God grow back a leg, do you love me, the person right in front of you kind of thing. Makes me think. I still don't have answers, just more questions.

When I wrote about my investigation into the Holy Spirit the other day, I mentioned wanting to experience more of Him in my life. Well isn't it just like God to give me so many opportunities this week to do just that?!

I've had more stuff heaped on me than seems even possible for any one human to do. There's a lot going on at my current job that I need to get finished out, and I've been surprised by the emotional response I've received as I've let people know that I'm leaving (I've only been there 10 months). I'm the type to quickly love people and become attached, but haven't seen those kinds of feelings returned (or haven't recognized in the past if it's been there). So there are opportunities for God to love these folks through me; at the same time as needing to get lots of work completed. To be candid, I don't really know how to respond to my co-workers (one of my managers, interestingly enough the one I've found the most difficult to work with, got tears in her eyes); but I know that it's God giving me an opportunity to....what? So I'm praying and asking Him to show me; in the Word He talks about opening our mouths and He'll fill them; so maybe He'll do that for me right now, I don't know. It's definitely one of those ok God You're gonna have to take this one - use me.

Then my new job calls and wants me there right away due to some audit - so now I'm balancing two jobs. I have an intense desire for God to show Himself mighty through me at my new job; I want to be like Joseph and do things well and be able to give God glory through my performance.

Then my 16year old niece, who my husband John & I have been praying for consistently during the past few years, and have offered her to come live with us, suddenly decides to take us up on the offer. The fact that my sister is allowing it is nothing short of miraculous. My niece has been through so much and I so desire to love her and have God use me in her life. School for her and my youngest son starts August 11 and I've got to get her registered and the whole thing about me being guardian regarding educational matters worked out.

Did I mention that my middle son leaves August 8 for college in Nebraska? I want to make a few special times with Him. I'm praying that God would work through me however God chooses to in my son's life; but I definitely just want to love on him and let him have security in the knowledge of his value to me.

Fortunately both my sons who are still at home are on vacation with their dad this week, and John's out doing his wild-man-in-the-outback-at-Yosemite thing. So I can work really long days and get a lot of work done.

I don't think it's by mistake that I've embarked on this quest to see the Holy Spirit more in my life right now. I NEED Him. I'm excited about His empowering me to not only accomplish all these tasks but to minister to these people in my life through Him.

I'll keep you updated.

Can we get enough?

2011-07-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

As Christians we can never "get enough" of God. I think we want to grow and learn and see more evidence of the Holy Spirit's power and leading in our lives. I know I sure do.

I appreciate something I read recently by FB Meyer recounting an experience he had when he was crossing the Irish channel on a dark, starless, night:

"I stood on the deck by the captain and asked him, 'How do you know Holyhead Harbor on so dark a night as this?' He said, 'You see those three lights? Those three lights must line up behind each other as one, and when we see them so united, we know the exact position of the harbor's mouth'"

Meyers explains the implications he drew from this experience, "When we want to know God's will, there are three things which always concur - the inward impulse, The Word of God, and the trend of circumstances. God in the heart, impelling you forward; God in the Book, collaborating whatever He says in the heart;God in circumstances. Never start until all three agree".

Lately I've had the inward impulse to learn more about the Holy Spirit. Not so much on an intellectual level as on an experiential level. I want to see more of the fruits of the Spirit manifest in my life, I want to be used more to bring people to God and help them grow in Him, I want to have greater impact on the lives of my sons and the people with whom I work.

Recently I had the experience of looking through the CBD (Christian book distributors) website and saw a book by Francis Chan entitled "Remembering the Forgotten God Revising our tragic neglect of the Holy Spirit." I ordered both the book and the workbook. I've decided to read 1 to 2 chapters each week during the evening, and work through parts of the workbook during my morning times with God (there are sections in the workbook where you're looking up scriptures so those portions would work perfectly for my morning times with God).

Most likely I'm the same as you and have met many wonderful, and many struggling, Christians during my life. For myself, I've often fallen into the struggling camp and it's only by God's grace and goodness that I don't stay there.

I've unfortunately had the experience of encounters with some people in my life who talk the most about the Holy Spirit, yet seem to evidence the least of His fruit. These people seem so caught up in going on about the miraculous, to think that the sensational proves who God is....yet, is that really what the Holy Spirit within us is about?

I do know that God's heart is one of compassion. Over and over in the gospels I read about God in the flesh-Jesus-and how he was moved with compassion for people. He was also constantly healing people. I'm also impressed by what I read in Acts 4:13; that the world saw a difference in the followers of Christ. Being around Jesus, having His Holy Spirit within them, made them different from the rest of the world. I want to be like that; for people to see Him in me.

I grew up in a Baptist tradition and have many people who I respect greatly who are into dispensationalism. While I agree with lots of that thought process because I see much of it clearly in the Bible, I'm not sure about all of it. Some I know would go as far as to say that while Jesus walked the earth, and for His first followers to be authenticated, it was a time for the miraculous, but that God does not really work that way today.

While I can not see that, on the other hand I do not see people doing miracles to the extent that we see the disciples doing them in the gospels or the early church leaders in the book of Acts. I don't see the Christian groups I hear talk a lot about the miraculous, as a whole, living any differently than those who are not of faith. Or any differently from the Christian groups that are not into the miraculous. Is this an example of the fact that, although God's character, Word, and purposes do not change, His methods do? Or is it for some other reason? Should the miraculous even be where I'm looking; should I instead look to see His fruit manifest in me and then He'll show me what I'm to do?

These are just questions that I have and things I've been pondering.

I'm certainly not looking to Chan's book to provide me with the answers. But I see it as an aide in this process; I don't think it matters if I end up agreeing with Chan's conclusions or not, it's the process of examining the subject that interests me.

What about you, do you ever have encounters with Christians who talk a lot about the Holy Spirit but don't seem to manifest His fruit? Do you wonder why we see so little of the miraculous in the western world? Do you ever question the place of the miraculous in our lives? Do you have questions about the Holy Spirit and His place in your life?

Getting to enjoy some good stuff

2011-07-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

I've shared plenty in the past here about the hard times I've gone through these last couple of years with parenting challenges/frustrations and my job loss and job interviewing. Perhaps even because of all this, I find myself giving thanks to God and appreciating some good things that have happened lately.

On the parenting front I'm grateful to be able to say that my middle son did finish high school and keep his football scholarship. It's a division 2 school and he'll be red shirting his first year so it's only a partial scholarship, yet God blessed and we've got this first year covered so he won't have to take out any loans. The first week in August he'll be heading off to Nebraska (Chadron state college). He's driving with a friend of his who also has a football scholarship there; so I see another opportunity to trust God in my near future. This son is a good person but really impulsive; interesting is one word I could use to describe the thought of him driving that far with another 18-year old (anxiety could be another word but I'm choosing to trust God instead).

My youngest son has actually said the words I love you, and thanked me for stuff I've done for him, a few times in the last couple of weeks. I handled this matter of factly on the outside but boy was I shouting praise to Jesus on the inside! My husband John and I have both prayed our thank yous for what we believe to be the turning of the tide of this son's heart with regard to me. All I can say is that what is impossible with man is possible with God!

On the job front, God has blessed me with a job!!!

Of course I've had a job for the past 10 months and I do admit that I've enjoyed it. It's just that it pays 57% less than I used to make and was what I did 16 years ago for another company. This new job pays decent, uses more of my skills, has some exciting new challenges, and appears to have potential growth opportunity. Is God good or what?!

My new position will be Health Services Administrator (HSA) for an immigration detainment and processing center that is opening up not too far away. I'm excited about it being a new program and the opportunity I'll have to make a difference where that's concerned and to build a team. Health services are one of the most humane aspects of any detention center, so I'm looking forward to being part of a department that can make a positive difference in the detainees lives during what will be a super hard time for them. It's a bit different than what I've done in the past so I'm looking forward to trusting God to help me be "smarter than I am" (a phrase I learned from Beth Moore) so I can learn a lot of new stuff and still be effective.

What about you, what's some of the good stuff you've been enjoying lately?

What are your convictions?

2011-07-17T13:33:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday the pastor spoke about convictions and since then I've been mulling over that sermon in the back of my mind. I'm always curious about that subject, and interested in hearing what different people see to be their convictions.

It was suggested last week, and then again this week, that we actually take the time to write out our convictions. So I decided to take some time and write out my convictions, linked to why these are important to me.

So I want to share my convictions and then I'd like to hear yours.

The over arching principle, or conviction, in my life is that I want my life to be about Loving God and Loving People. I'm convinced that, for myself, there are some ways that can happen and I'm committed to the following convictions of seeing that love for God and love for people lived out:

Love for God

I'm committed to daily spending time in His presence. Praising and worshiping Him, Reading His Word and thinking about it throughout my day, Praying, and listening for His Voice.
I'm committed to a life of gratitude. God has done so much for me, and I want to live my life in thankfulness and enjoying all the good gifts He's constantly giving me.
My life is not my own any more, I chose to live it following after God. There's a few ways that impacts daily life: A.Money and stuff is not the goal so I'm very careful with my money so that I can use it as I feel God wants me to. I don't want to be in debt so that I'm all tied up. B.I want to keep myself available body, mind and spirit to God. Because of this I need to take care of my body (practical things like sleep, exercise, nutrition). C.I want to keep myself available body, mind, and spirit to God. Because of this I am committed to keeping myself free from things that will pull me away from my major focus (this could be TV, music that promotes lifestyles and attitudes that I don't believe are the ones God wants for me, or even some movies or books). This is a difficult one because it's so specific and it means that I just need to pray about things and evaluate them in light of this commitment. I do not always have to read, watch and listen to things that I agree with. Contrary ideas and thoughts can be helpful and growth producing.

Love for People

Because I love the husband with whom God has blessed me I protect this relationship and refrain from contacts and relationships that could impede this relationship. For me that means I never go out alone with another man. I don't look at things that involve looking at what could be considered "sexy" men's bodies (in clubs, magazines, movies, etc.). I am committed to never allowing my mind to wander to what it might be like to be in a relationship with anyone other than my husband.
Because I love my sons with whom God has blessed me I consider how any decisions I make in life will affect them, and make decisions accordingly. I choose to invest time into doing things with them. I make praying for them regularly a priority (2Xs a week are set aside for just that purpose).
I don't want anyone to die without God. So I've spent time praying and thinking about how to share the gospel; I try to live my life open each day to opportunities to share as situations arise.
I choose to live simply and without debt so that I am free to give money to others as God leads.
I want to be open to helping the people God's put into my life - however that may look. Be it being helpful to a co-worker even if it means taking on more work, or listening to someone who I get the feeling needs to unload, or making food for someone, or being friendly to someone in a social situation who seems left out. These are not things I can know in advance, it's about having an open attitude and trying to look for ways to extend love. (This is the opposite of getting caught up in my own agenda and living with blinders on)
I'm committed to humility. To not thinking I'm better than anyone, to listening to what others have to say, to not having to always have my own way. Another part of humility is being honest; not needing to make things better or worse than they are, just being true.

So what about you, what are some of your major life convictions? What made these important to you? How have these convictions impacted your life?

At least it was better this time!

2011-07-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who've borne with me in my rants about losing a job and let me drone on about the trials of job interviewing - THANKS!

And so the saga continues....

The last time I talked with my oldest son on the phone, he'd asked about my job interviewing experiences. When I told him about the last fiasco (the one where the CEO I'd driven two hours to meet with walked out during the interview) he asked me questions that caused me to think. He asked why I was interviewing for geriatric nursing home administrator positions when, in the entire time I've had this nursing home administrator's license, I've never worked in a geriatric setting. I stumbled as I replied; speaking of how noble it was to provide care for the elderly and what a wonderful ministry. Then I honestly explained that I need a good paying job and that could be one. I also sheepishly admitted to him that I have no idea why, but that, if I'm really candid, while I find working with the elderly to be admirable, what really does it for me is working with psych patients, or substance abusers, or criminals. But then I asked - what does this say about me, as I laughed. To which my son replied - that it's a vocation for you.

I thought about that and realized he was right. Working with those populations is where my heart is at. So I prayed about it some more and went back through all my avenues of job searching again. I again came to a position for a health services administrator with a private company that sub-contracts with the state and federal government to provide correctional type facilities; it was at a relatively close (when you live in a small, mountain resort, town anything within 50 miles is considered local. Especially if you don't have to drive all the way down the mountain) location. I applied for this job a while back, but I sent them my resume, with a cover letter that I spent some more time on, again.

Within a week I heard from a man named Ted who's the regional director for this company's health services operations in the western US. He asked me to come over to a local hotel where the company was interviewing people and meet with him. This interview wasn't at all like my recent experiences, this guy was a type B personality just like me. I was relaxed and asked him all kinds of questions about the position. We just talked. He didn't feel like he had some set agenda and I felt like I could just be myself and find out about the job and discover if it was something I wanted to do. I didn't feel like I had to sell myself (something I can't stand about the typical job interview). When we were finished he gave me a very lengthy application and explained that, since this new location that they are opening is sub-contracted with the federal immigration department, all applicants have to complete the federal application.

This was on a Thursday, and Ted said to take the application home, that he would be back at the hotel doing more interviews the following Tuesday-Thursday and, if I wanted I could give him and call and he'd sit down and go through my application with me. I thought that was so considerate and helpful of him.

The application turned out to be a real pain so I was grateful of his offer. Plus I figured that more face time with him would be a good thing. So Monday evening I called Ted and we set up to meet Tuesday (which was yesterday). We went through my application and he didn't have anything that he thought I needed to fix. When we finished he told me that I'm his first choice for this position so far but that he did have a few more interviews to complete. Then Ted said he wanted me to meet with the warden of the facility since he would be my actual boss in terms of day to day life. I said I'd like that too so he called me back yesterday and invited me to meet at the actual facility this morning with himself and the warden.

Well, when I go to the facility there was another man there as well, another applicant for the same position. I thought to myself - oh no, not this again (that last time, when the CEO walked out on me, the operations manager I'd been interviewing with told me that I was his favorite but the lady who would've been my boss liked another candidate best. It was such a NOT fun situation). My "competition" had not been interviewed yet by Ted. The competition looked sharp and had corrections experience (I don't have corrections experience). But, as I waited while Ted and my "competition" interviewed, I didn't get anxious. I just figured - if this is where God wants me, I'll get the job. If not, then I don't want to be here anyway. So the warden finally finished giving a tour to some judges who wanted to see the facility and my competition and I were introduced to him. Then the warden, Ted and I sat down and talked (followed by the warden, Ted, and the competition having a private chat). The warden made me more nervous than Ted, but he's a good guy. Ted was going to give the competition and I a tour of the facility after we'd each met with the warden and the warden asked Ted, so when are you going to let them know who gets the job? Then he turns to both of us and says how we're both good people and the hardest part of the whole interview process is the not knowing, and that it's better to know as soon as possible if you don't get a job because then you can just move on. I appreciated his considerate attitude.

So Ted took us on the tour and then my competition and I awkwardly said our good byes. Within 10 minutes of being on the road Ted called me and said I'm still his top candidate. So I said great and how much I appreciate him letting me know right away. Then I asked - what does this mean? Do I have the job? He said it's not a formal offer yet and that he wants me to meet with the immigration department HR people and go over my application. We discussed times that I could make such a meeting and then he said he'd talk to the HR folks and get back to me. Ted called me back later and gave me a time to meet with a representative from the Immigration department HR, at that same local hotel tomorrow.

So we'll see what happens.

You mean it's not all about me?

2011-07-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

This week over at Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about our Identity in Christ. Today I'm sharing about how understanding my identity in Christ helps me see others as important.

How does understanding your identity in Christ affect your relationship with others?

July 4th Thoughts

2011-07-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

I once heard it said that as Americans, every time we hear the song God Bless America we should change it up to think about it this way: "God bless America through me".

Sometimes it's easy for me to get caught up in attitudes that are like two sides of the same bad coin. On the one side I can be so critical of those who are in power in our nation, or the sliding condition of morality and values. On the other side I can think that loyalty to my country is about proving that we're bigger and better. Both are unhealthy.

I believe that God calls every person to be a loyal citizen to where ever they live. It seems fitting, as an American, to spend some time thinking and praying today for guidance. To ask God to show me a need in our country, and how He wants to use me to help fill.

Failure is Part of the Plan

2011-06-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

Emotions can be tricky things. I've learned to refrain from depending on them, to choose to base my life and actions on what I believe to be the truth. Even so, I'm still affected by emotions.

A couple of years ago I was fired from a job after working for a company for 7 years straight, and then on and off (as they called me to come help them out in situations) for another 3 years. The termination was really about politics; some regional consultants has changed and those new to position people did things differently than I. I do not know another way to describe these folks than to say that many people would consider them low class - extremely crude and foul mouthed (I'm not talking about the occasional cuss word here, I'm referring to explicit sexual talk and intense swearing), and into drama, gossip, and vendettas. Unfortunately, I got on the wrong side of them and a couple of them basically set out to get rid of me. Since I was the one who lost her job, it could look like they were successful.

But I knew that I was in the palm of God's hand and nothing happened in my life that He did not allow. I chose to trust Him.

Initially I was bewildered, hurting, and devastated. Then I got past all of that and was hopeful; I believed that God would bring me another, better, job. Then after completing countless job applications, going to many job interviews, and dealing with rejection upon rejection, I finally had an interview with some people who I really liked. They offered me a job, but it was doing something I'm overqualified for; it's something I did for another company 16 years ago, pays 57% less than I'd been making, and did not allow me to utilize the skills I'd worked so hard to acquire. After much prayer I decided to take the job until I could get a better job.

Through all of this God has been faithful and we have always had all our needs met, although I have had to utilize a large chunk of my savings. I started this other job with high spirits, still believing God would bring something better my way.

It's been 8 months now and I'm still at that job. They're super happy with me and I enjoy the day to day work and people. But I still long for more, and continue to apply and interview for other work. I've even studied and added a certification onto my credentials during this time.

Lately I find myself struggling with discontentment, feeling disconnected and sad. It's not because I've stopped loving or trusting God (I mean, God could never allow me to get another job and I'd still choose to love Him and believe that He's got my best in His plan), and I'm still actively involved in service to others. It's just that my emotions have been having a hard time lately.

It is in the midst of this situation that I came across these words from Micah 7:7-8 during my devotions this morning:

As for me, I will look to the Lord for his help. I wait confidently for God to save me and my God shall certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord himself will be my light.

So today I've been thinking about how failure shouldn't be a surprise in life; it should be, in a certain way, expected. Expected in terms of the fact that if you try challenging things, failure is a definite possibility. Logically, if you try often enough, the probability of failure increases. I'm thinking that somehow failure needs to be part of the plan, looked at as a step in route to achievement.

I know that I've learned a lot from my failures in life. Failures in marriage, with my children, in jobs, in interviews - in every situation when I have not seen the goal met, I've learned in the process. This doesn't negate the fact that failure is painful, just accepts the truth that it is inevitable. I adore the simplicity of that line in Micah: "though I fall, I will rise again".

I'm also thinking today about how failure does not have to equal defeat. God is not just the God of second chances, he's the God of countless new beginnings! That both my own mistakes and misdeeds, as well as that of others, will not keep me from His plan.

What about you, how does failure figure into your plans?

Vent, Grumble, and Ramble

2011-06-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

So I'm here ranting about interviewing again today. As mentioned previously, writing helps me process my thoughts and feelings.

In a prior post I talked about the first two interviews for this job. Since then I had an approximately 20 minute phone interview with the boss of the lady who would be my boss; his name is Kevin and her's is Sheila. Kevin scheduled me for another interview in person with himself, Sheila, their corporate HR person, and the DON at the facility where I would be working should I get the job. Near the end of that interview this past Wednesday, Kevin mentioned that he may ask me to come down to their corporate offices in downtown LA on Friday. After 5PM yesterday (Thursday) Sheila called me and left a message about going to LA on Friday; when I called her back she sounded in a hurry but she did tell me the address in LA and that I'd be meeting with the CEO, Mr. F.

My experience in LA today has left a bad taste in my mouth.

It all started out fine, I made the long trek into downtown LA, found parking, and made it into the company's building. But then when I told the receptionist that I was there for an 11:30 apt with Mr. F., he said there were 3 Mr. F.s (why didn't Sheila mention which one?) The receptionist proved competent and called around and found out who I should meet with, but told me that they were in with another applicant and could I please wait. I waited close to 20 minutes. Then the receptionist got a call to send me down and I walked to the next floor down, located the suite, and was met by a young woman who led me into an office. To my surprise Kevin was sitting at the desk in the office, but then I noticed another man who was standing to the side and wearing a yamaka. Apparently he'd politely stood up when I entered the office; Kevin introduced him as Mr. F.

We all sat down and then Kevin began to ask me the same questions that he and I had already discussed. Since I assumed he was asking these questions for Mr. F. I mostly directed my responses to him. I made lots of eye contact and, although the man did not seem the type to ever be rude, he also did NOT engage with me. He looked totally uninterested. He honestly did not strike me as actively disliking me, just as not wanting to be there. After perhaps 15 minutes, when I looked at Kevin because he was speaking, Mr. F. stood up, politely told me that he had a meeting he needed to be at, and left. I was flabbergasted; I came at 11:30AM as scheduled, Mr. F. had been told where I lived (about a 2 hour drive away) and that I had come expressly to meet with him, and then got up and left during the meeting.

As soon as the door closed behind Mr. F. Kevin told me that now he could stop asking these questions, since he already knew the answers himself. I asked where Kevin and this Mr. F. fit into the company set up. Kevin explained that the company was family owned and run by three Mr. F.s; the 86 yr old father who was the CEO, and then the son I'd met who ran the 33 SNF and sub-acute facilities, and his brother who ran the assisted living and hospice facilities. Kevin said there were also two brother-in-laws employed in the business. (I was guessing that these were the 4 other men I'd observed as I waited who were wearing yamakas.) Kevin went on to say that the orignal plan was that, since they always had this meeting every Friday (apparently the one our Mr. F. had so abruptly rushed off to), each of the two final canidates for this position were to have gone to that meeting to meet with the 3 Mr. F.s and himself. But that the 86 year old Mr. F. didn't seem so well today, and was falling asleep during the meeting, so they changed the plan to Kevin and our Mr F. doing the interviewing in Kevin's office.

Kevin couldn't help but see how wrong this was of Mr. F. to have left as he did and so he told me that you know it was Friday, Sabbath would be starting soon (my understanding was that it didn't start until 6PM, but I kept quiet), Mr. F. was probably tired, and they always left early on Fridays so he most likely just wanted to get to that meeting and finish it and go home. He also commented on how people asked him why he'd work for a family run business instead of running his own but that he really did run the operations. Then, perhaps because he was feeling bad for me, or maybe because he just has inappropriate boundaries, Kevin told me that it was down to myself and another candidate and that the Mr. F. I'd just met always gets the last say. Especially since he wanted me for the job and Sheila wanted the other candidate. He went on to explain that typically Mr. F. would go with whatever he says but that it's up to him and he could surprise Kevin.

The whole series of events had me off balance. I felt uncomfortable with this revelation as well; I mean, if I got the job, Sheila would be my boss and how would I feel knowing I was not her favorite candidate. Also, even though I felt like Kevin and I clicked and he'd said some really nice things to me during our phone interview, I was thinking that his primary reasons for wanting me were that this facility is not too far from my home and he noticed that I worked for 10 years for my last company (in a field where lots of administrators stay 18 months at each job). So I think he correctly judged me to be a stable person in a world of flakes. Then there's the rude way Mr. F. just walked out on me; did I judge wrong and he really didn't like me, was he concerned over his father, is he a drone? I mean, what's going on?

Anyway, is it just me or does this situation with how Mr. F. walked out on me, and Kevin told me about he and Sheila's disagreement over myself, seem like a crummy way to do business? Am I being overly sensitive, or am I justified in feeling disgruntled? Should I even want to work for them after that? Granted, even if I get offered the job and take it, I'll most likely never see the Mr. F.s again. I'll probably only see Kevin once a month at a regional meeting and Sheila twice a month at most. That's part of why I understand them wanting so many interviews in different settings; because if they hire me I'll be on my own running their business for them in that location. What do you think?

Is there a "Kindness Balance"?

2011-06-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this for a while.

Inge's post Cruel to be Kind got my thoughts going in this direction. Then yesterday I read the following words from Ogilvie:

"Kindness is the steadfast love of the Lord in action toward those who fail".

What a powerful statement! I can't even begin to express my gratitude for God's kindness toward me; I've failed miserably and repeatedly (and in things that matter).

But even as I read those words yesterday morning during my quiet time with God, I had in the back of my mind a problem situation with 3 employees, two of which I feel are trying to play me. One of which I'm beginning to think has been leaving work while still on the clock. This is a huge problem for more than the obvious reasons. I run small homes in the community where severely disabled adults live and we only staff 2 or 3 employees with the 6 individuals who reside in the home. So one staff less can mean safety issues (not to mention the fact that we have a regulatory requirement of 1 staff for every three individuals). Plus, due to the nature of the situation, I really have to be able to trust the staff. It's my responsibility to make sure the individuals who live in our homes are well cared for and enjoy a good environment.

So I found myself asking that age old question - how can I be kind, yet still hold people accountable for their actions and implement consequences?

I don't know a single parent who hasn't struggled with this same issue at some point or another. It's the idea of always wanting to be kind, yet needing to be effective. I frequently find that balance a challenge to achieve. I've always tried to establish a system for both employees and my sons where the boundaries are clear. The boundaries in terms of expectations as well as what is unacceptable. Then have consequences to unacceptable choices clearly delineated from the start.

But life just isn't always so cut and dried. In fact, I've always been annoyed by those "perfect parents" who seem to claim that it is. Life is full of gray.

Guess that's where my need of Christ and His discernment comes in. Repeatedly I have to call out to Him for wisdom in how to handle specific situations.

What about you, do you ever struggle with implementing the balance between kindness and justice?

Gratitude Changed Me

2011-06-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

All week over at Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about Gratitude. Today I'm posting about how Gratitude changed me.

What about you, what's your experience been with gratitude?

The agony of Interviewing

2011-06-04T08:42:00.001-07:00

Before you read another word you need to know that this is a post for me to process. I'll most likely ramble and vent.

I'm tired of interviewing for jobs!

Interviewing sucks!

I've never been much of a self salesperson. I basically try to just give the interviewer and accurate picture of who I am, strengths and weaknesses. I figure that then they know exactly who they will be getting if they hire me, and they will never be disappointed.

I will grudgingly admit that I learn something from each interview. So in that sense I was OK with yesterday's interview; I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. But the set up had me off balance; it was my second interview for this job and it was with the boss of the first interviewer, who was the director of operations. I didn't really catch her boss' name or position. The interview was in a coffee house and between the music being piped in over head (I think it was right above my chair) and the noise of the place, it was a bit difficult for me to hear clearly and to fully focus.

He was on the phone when I came in because, apparently my predecessor had a short interview so he'd made some calls while waiting for me. He caught my attention, I wasn't looking at him since I didn't want to seem like I was listening in, and made an apologetic gesture to which I made the oh-it's-all-right sign back (although this was not any where close to the location I was applying for and a long drive for me to get there and find the place. But that's what you get with these management companies that manage facilities in the greater, and I mean much greater, LA area). My problem is that, although I have the required state license to be a nursing home administrator, I've only ever ran psychiatric facilities, so I'm really weak on the AR side. He started out the interview by bringing this up and I didn't try to tell him any different. By the end of the interview he told me that it was obvious I could do the job, that he just needed to figure out if I was their best applicant for the position.

My friend told me when I talked with her about the interview as I drove home (a long drive home) that perhaps that was my opportunity to state why I'm the best. But I didn't, I basically just made some sort of gesture that indicated that yep that's what he needed to do. I'm just not gonna try to sell me; I'm really good at what I do, I'm conscientious and hardworking, have integrity, and am all heart for the patients, staff, and families. I figure that either he picks up on that through our conversation or he doesn't, it's really not something you can tell someone.

Today I'm just mulling over how difficult and intrinsically disgruntling the whole interviewing process can be. I mean, I am happy at my current job because I enjoy the clients, super like my boss and her boss, and like the people with whom I work. I'm trying to keep it positive there and do my very best. Yet...the bottom line is that I'm over qualified, can do more, and it pays really low compared to what I've made for the past ten years. Interviewing makes it difficult to stay focused where I'm at and to consistently choose to dwell on the good things about the job and be creative and do more where I'm at. Yet if I don't keep trying for a better job I feel like I'm not being true to myself.

OK, so I'm being a whiner. I know it. I don't like to whine in my daily life so I'm here doing it.

This isn't a terrible interview story but I've certainly got some from this past year. What about you, do you have any awful interview stories?

Happy Birthday Daniel!

2011-05-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Since Daniel is 17 years old tomorrow, here I am thinking about him.

There are four words that come to my mind whenever I think of Daniel: meticulous, hard-working, deep, and faithful.

Daniel pays attention to detail, every detail. Whether it's paying attention to ensuring that all the punctuation is correct for an essay he's writing, or correcting some not-exactly-correct method to my driving, life is about the details for Daniel.

Daniel is the epitome of hard-working. I've seen him come home after school sports practice bone weary and just eat dinner and fall into bed, only to set his alarm for 3AM so he can get up and complete all his homework for the up-coming day. I've watched him work hard every single day of football practice, sometimes even staying after practice to work more on some specific thing on his own, only to sit almost all of every game out on the bench; but no matter what the outcome, he gives each practice his all. He understands the worth of the process, the by-product of excellence in general.

When I think of what a deep thinker and feel-er Daniel is I'm reminded of a passage from Psalm 42:6-8:

⁶ My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

Have you ever noticed that the deep people struggle more with the "dark side" of life than the happy, care-free, type personalities? I think the word melancholy was coined with these kind of folks in mind. King David was certainly such a person; a man who experienced deep relationship with God, the joy of God, and the depths of sadness. Such is Daniel.

The definition of faithful from dictionary.com is "Loyal, constant, and steadfast: "remain faithful to the principles". That's a rather apt description of Daniel. I know that sometimes it makes life more difficult for him as a young man of faith in Christ in a secular high school. But I also know that he will continue to reap the benefit of his faithfulness.

So I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my meticulous, hard-working, deep, and faithful son!

In the Irons

2011-05-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today I learned a new term, "Irons". It's a sailing term for a windless time of drifting. I kind of feel like that's what it's like in my life right now.

I don't feel close to God.

There are tough situations either with those I love, or that those I love are going through - either way it hurts.

I'm grateful for the knowledge that even when I do not feel close to God, He is still here. Grateful that the truth is that God loves me (and everyone else) and has I plan for my life; even when I can not see it, and don't feel particularly enthused.

I'd mentioned before that my husband John had recommended a simple devotional, Silent Strength for my life, by Lloyd John Ogilvie. Repeatedly through my life I've found devotionals helpful when I'm in those dry times. It only requires a ten minute commitment on my part so I can always make myself do it. I've found that devotionals allow me to maintain the discipline of daily time in the Word, while also giving me someone else's thoughts on the Word to contemplate when I'm feeling disconnected and depleted. They kind of help jump-start my own thoughts. I appreciate this type of devotional because it has a portion of the Bible that you look up on your own and read, and then one or two verses from that portion are printed with the author's thoughts. I can say that Ogilvie's thoughts are worth reading. Yesterday Ogilvie ended with a quote from Francois de Fenelon that I'm still pondering:

"Should we feel at times disheartened and discouraged, a simple movement toward God will renew our powers. Whatever He may demand of us, He will give us at the moment the strength and courage that we need."

I'm sure counting on this truth!

What about you, what helps you when you're going through dry times?

Church

2011-05-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week over Kingdom Bloggers we're sharing favorite childhood church memories.

What about you, what are some of the seeds that were planted during your childhood church experiences that you see the fruit of in your life today?

Pockets filled with holes

2011-05-14T11:57:00.001-07:00

I was reading during my morning devotions in Haggai and came across these verses in Haggai 1:5-6 (NLT) :

⁵ This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you! ⁶ You have planted much but harvest little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty. You put on clothes but cannot keep warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes!

Who does this sound like to you?

I don't know about you, but I was struck with how much this sounds like a large portion of Americans.

Now I recognize that, in context, this scripture is about when God spoke through His prophet Haggai to Israel because the people were free and out of captivity, but had ceased to re-build the temple of God. In verse 4 He's even explaining that the people are living in luxurious homes while the temple lies in ruins. But I also believe that a principle can be lifted out of this situation.

Neglecting to re-build the temple is an awful lot like neglecting God. It just really hit me this morning as I was reading what a prevalent the situation is described in these 5-6th verses; how many people do you know who could say that they feel like they put their wages into pockets with holes in them?

As I read this I'm filled with gratitude that I don't have to live that way. I can honestly say that my family is never without all our needs met. By God's grace and direction in the Bible concerning money and possessions, giving, and debt I never feel this way. I'm always able to save and give.

Having said that however, there are also tons of things we don't buy or do that I see the people around me (the ones who would say yes they've got the holes in their pockets) buying and doing. There are also things we do with our money that the holes-in-their-pockets folks don't do.

The relevancy and usefulness of the Bible never ceases to amaze me!

Happy Birthday Devon!

2011-05-13T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today is the Birthday of my oldest son, Devon; today he is 23 years old.

Like every parent, I’m painfully aware of how fast the time goes by. It seems that just yesterday I was walking him to school for his first day of kindergarten. Feeling bereft as we crossed the street to the far corner of the school and he quietly told me that I could leave him now, because he would walk the rest of the way by himself.

He’s never stopped being so independent.

Just last year at this time I was thinking on Devon’s future and how full of promise it seemed. He was graduating from West Point and getting married. Now here we are a year later in what may very well have been one of the toughest years of his life.

But I think I admire and respect Devon more than ever. He inspires me.

This has been a year when it seems as if his dreams have been smashed. A year when people and situations have kept him from obtaining what he wanted, what seemed right, what must have felt needed. Yet he was doing the right thing.

What’s really inspired me is watching Devon go through all of this and not back down from who he is or what he believes. He’s not the type to proclaim statements such as I’m standing on the promises of God. Instead he just quietly tells me about how he’s currently reading The Great Divorce by CS Lewis. He tells me about how sometimes at the end of his 12-hr work day he all he wants to do is go home and crawl into bed, but that he makes himself something healthy to eat and goes out for a walk around the block or even just to Wal-Mart to walk around. It never appears to enter his mind to be upset at God or even think about denying his faith; that’s not an option in his mind. He doesn’t deny his feelings, he just chooses to base his life on what he believes to be the truth in spite of what is happening to him or how he feels. He chooses to be as happy as possible and chooses to continue to do the right thing.

As I’m here thinking about Devon’s 23rd Birthday I’m amazed at what a man of faith and character he is at such a young age. I’m grateful that God’s blessed me with being Devon’s mother.

A secret place

2011-05-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been struggling.

So I'd asked John if he could recommend a good read; something that might be of help to me. He actually gave me a stack of books from which to choose. One of which was a super simple devotional entitled Silent Strength for my Life written by Lloyd John Ogilvie.

This morning's texts were Philippians 4:6-7 and Psalm 91:1-2. Ogilvie made this comment that really caught my attention:

"There's a secret place in all of us and there's a secret place of the Most High. When the two meet, profound prayer takes place."

I'd be interested in your thoughts, what do you think that means? What have you experienced with regard to this?

What does the Resurrection mean to you?

2011-04-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

All week over at Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about what the Resurrection means to us.

What does the Resurrection mean to you?

Faith is a choice

2011-04-25T21:16:00.001-07:00

My husband John and I watched a movie entitled The exorcism of Emily Rose tonight.

If anyone besides us two had been watching it with us, they would have been seriously annoyed. We both kept periodically stopping the movie to discuss various concepts or thoughts that it brought up. John and I enjoyed our conversations every bit as much as the movie. The movie is a cinema-tized version of the real life story of Anneliese Michel.

One of the many themes that the movie brought out for John and I was that every miracle of God can be explained away if that's what we choose to do. The majority of this movie takes place in a courtroom where the priest who performed an exorcism is on trial for negligent manslaughter. One of the interesting things is that no one claims the priest is lying; the prosecution does however, provide scientific facts that provide an alternate explanation for every supernatural event that the priest recounts, or for what he has on tape recording.

Isn't this just so in life???

John and I talked a lot with each other about specific events or situations in our world that he and I see as truly demonstrating the reality that there is a God; yet we've repeatedly seen other people give scientific facts for these same situations and events. The truth is that we see things how we choose to see them.

Faith by it's very essence is a choice. Faith also can not be proven via the concrete, measurable, verifiable methods that our society holds in such high esteem. I see the merit in using objective, verifiable, data, to analyze situations. I use this approach frequently in my job. But I do not think this is the only approach to truth.

There's a common expression, leap of faith. I think we use this term because at some point, if one is to have faith, one has to step out beyond what one can "fact-ualize" and simply make a choice to believe.

I've never regretted any of the choices of faith that I've made in my life that relate to God and what He's spoke to my heart through the Bible.

What about you, have your leaps of faith produced good things in your life? Or have they produced regrets?

He has risen

2011-04-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

John 20
The Empty Tomb
1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. 9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) 10 Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.
Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene
11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.
Jesus Appears to His Disciples
19 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”
Jesus Appears to Thomas
24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
The Purpose of John’s Gospel
30 Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31 But these are written that you may believe[b] that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Good Friday

2011-04-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

I could barely force myself to read the account of Jesus crucifixion in John 18:1-19:42 this morning. It's so painful, even to read. Although his faults and wrong actions are plentiful, I'll still forever be grateful to Mel Gibson for producing the movie The Passion. Because floggings and crucifixions are so far removed from my cultural context, it wasn't until I watched that movie that what Jesus suffered for me became more real; I had a mental picture.

I don't think I'll ever get past being totally blown away that Jesus, the God of the Hosts of the Armies of Heaven, was first of all willing to take on human form and come live among us, then was willing to suffer and die on the cross, to take on the sin of the world, for us, for me.

To say that I'm grateful is an understatement.

As I think on Jesus' death on my behalf on this Good Friday the question comes to me about how Jesus' death on the cross affects my life. With this question in mind, I wanted to share a prayer that I came across:

"Jesus, you were taken prisoner in the darkness of night and all your friends abandoned you. Be with all who are abducted and strengthen all who mourn those who are missing. You were crowned with thorns and beaten by soldiers. Help us to end torture throughout the world and have pity on those so afflicted. Your face was covered with spittle and you wore a robe of shame. Heal the wounds that make us act less than human and remind us that we are made in the image of God. You accepted the help of Simon and Veronica. And awaken us to the ways that we can help those who are suffering and be grateful to those who minister to us. Amen."

Maundy Thursday

2011-04-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week over at Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about Holy Week.

Since today is Maundy Thursday I want to know what comes to your mind as you reflect on the new commandment that Jesus gave to His followers?

Never Alone

2011-04-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

As I read the words from Matthew 26:36-46
I am again faced with both Jesus' deity and His humanity.

His humanity is right there as I read His words of dread and anguish in the 38th & 39th verses (MSG):

Then he said, "This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me."

³⁹ Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?"

Have you ever dreaded anything?

Although I certainly try not to live that way, sometimes yucky stuff just happens. Worse than that, sometimes I know in advance when something really bad is coming my way, and that's when those feelings of dread rise up within me.

You know what I really don't appreciate when I'm struggling with dread? Someone coming along and blithely telling me "God's got it all in control sister". Even though it's true, I feel even more alone when I'm given a quick fix like that. What I really long for is for someone to come alongside me, to wait with me, to just be with me through the tough times.

Somehow I just can't see Jesus trivializing someone's pain and dread. I'm reminded of how in Hebrews 2:17-18 and in Hebrews 4:14-16 I'm told that Jesus can understand and help me because He has gone through suffering and testing, and because He knows what it's like to be in weak human form. As I look at Gethsemane I can see that He understands what it's like to dread something.

As I look at Gethsemane I'm grateful. Grateful that Jesus went ahead and went to the cross and suffered so that I can come before the Father due to Jesus' shed blood on my behalf. Grateful that I don't have to be alone in life because, just as He promised , He has given me His Spirit to live inside me. Grateful that He understands me and is with me through all of life.

What are you grateful for on this Wednesday of Holy Week?

Can you really ever count on people?

2011-04-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of Holy Week brings me to reading John 13:21-38. Jesus picked Judas as one of His inner circle, the men in whom He chose to invest His life while on this earth. As we know, Judas betrayed Jesus. I've read that the word traitor means someone who hands another over to suffering.

Guess by that definition, I've been a traitor before in my life - just ask my husband or sons, the ones who know me best. I really think that each of us hands over another to suffering somehow, somewhere, often without meaning to or even being aware that we're doing it; it seems to be part of the human condition.

Yes it hurts really bad when someone I love betrays me. But somehow, I think that in recognizing that I'm not without the same sin in myself, I can move past the pain and into forgiveness. Without recognizing my own need to come to God and seek His forgiveness for my betrayal of my loved ones, or even of my faith, then I'm both without the need or ability to extend forgiveness to others. Without forgiveness from God and to others, I'll stay bound in the pain.

I don't want to live that way!

Oh Father, thank You for Your forgiveness! Please make me aware today. Aware of the suffering that I may be causing others, and if I am, help me, by your grace and power, to change. Aware of any unforgiveness that I may be harboring in my heart; if unforgiveness is there, may I choose, by Your power, to forgive.

Holy Week Monday

2011-04-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

As I began Holy Week this morning, I spent some time thinking on John 12:1-11. I prayed that, just as this passage depicts Mary symbolically preparing Jesus for His burial, that the Holy Spirit would use this passage to prepare my heart for greater revelation of Him during this Holy Week. Greater revelation that would lead to a heart transformation
that would result in a more loving life.

The two things that hit me as I thought on this passage throughout the day were how extravagant Mary's love was, and the fact that Jesus pointed out that He would not always be with them.

I prayed throughout the day that God would show me ways to show love to the people in my life. So much of my life has been spent in giving just enough to get by; but I want to become more like Mary and give lavishly. None of the things I had the opportunity to do today were big, but hopefully they made the lives of others at least a bit better.

Thinking about not always having the people I love with me,...well, I took a lunch break and called and talked with my mom.

What about you, how did your first day of Holy Week go?

Holy Week

2011-04-18T08:22:00.001-07:00

Although I guess I'm what would be considered an "evangelical" there are many things that I appreciate about traditional "high church" observances. The celebration of Holy Week is one of them.

It seems to me that the devotional times of Holy Week help me move behind the joyful celebrations of Palm Sunday and Easter and look at suffering, humiliation, and death of my savior. Perhaps by walking through the sadness and darkness of Holy Week and Good Friday, in contemplating the horror and magnitude of sin and its consequences in the world that are incarnated in Jesus on the cross, I can come to a greater understanding of the light and hope of the resurrection of Jesus that we celebrate on Easter morning.

Are there special things that you do to make holy week meaningful for you?

Starting tonight I'll be writing about my devotion times this week. I'd be interested in hearing about the experiences of others as well.

When praise isn't enough

2011-04-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Since Palm Sunday is this coming Sunday, we're posting about it this week at Kingdom Bloggers.

In my post today, I share some of the things I'm pondering as we're approaching the celebration of Palm Sunday in the Western church. What about you, what kinds of things come to your mind as you're thinking about Palm Sunday?

What's in a Name?

2011-04-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

Periodically I like to take some time to think on one of names of God.

This morning I spent some time thinking on what’s referred to as “Lord of Hosts” in the New American Standard version of the Bible, or “Lord Almighty” in the New Living Translation, or “God-of-the-Angel-Armies” in The Message paraphrase.

I spent some time reading and thinking about the following Bible verses: 1 Samuel 17:45, Isaiah 2:12 , Isaiah 5:16, Isaiah 6:3, Isaiah 37:16, Jeremiah 11:20, Jeremiah 31:35, Jeremiah 50:34, and Zechariah 7:9-10.

It’s a wonderful thing to think on a name of God. As I read scripture after scripture the Holy Spirit rose up faith within my spirit. Faith in the All Powerful God. The God Who alone created the heavens and the earth, the one who causes the moon and stars to shine and makes waves in the sea. The Holy God. The God who is just and will not let evil go unpunished forever.

As I thought on these aspects of God I was filled with both wonder, and a bit of fear. I mean, scripture is clear that He will always love me, yet He is just. I’d do best to stay on the right side of His justice, to follow His ways to begin with so that I won’t have to incur His discipline.

I was also encouraged that I have help in God, especially when there’s no other help.

I have a few situations in my life right now that don’t look so good; in the natural there’s no good end in sight. But God is the one Who created what is natural; He can choose to do whatever He wants. He is more than powerful to bring about resolution and good outcomes in these life situations.

I’m so grateful that I can trust in the All Powerful God.

What about you, what need in your life does the fact that He is the Almighty God speak to?

Honoring God in the Ordinary

2011-04-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

This week over atKingdom Bloggers we're talking about honoring God in the ordinary.

That's not always easy to do. I know that sometimes I can get bogged down in being busy. I’ve found that in the midst of the routine, in the midst of the mundane, that I can become stagnant if I’m not careful.

I’m not what people would consider a charismatic personality, nor am I super self disciplined. So staying enthused and seeking to honor God in my every day life do not come naturally to me. But there are some things that I have found helpful for me in this process; staying in the Word, keeping good role models in my eyesight, choosing to constantly and consistently speak words of thankfulness, music, and choosing excellence even in the small things.

I’ve written a lot lately about the Word and about spending time in the Word, so I won’t write a about that again. Except to say that as I spend time daily in the Word, the Holy Spirit causes the words from the Bible to become life to my spirit.

Perhaps I’ve never understood the influence of others so much as during these past couple of years as I’ve watched my teen son be influenced by the people with whom he hangs out. It’s been heart wrenching to see him turn away here and there from God to pursue worldly pleasure like his contemporaries are pursuing. But I’m not fundamentally different from him; who I surround myself with affects who I become. Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t develop relationships on varying levels with people who don’t know God, but it does mean that I purposefully pursue godly role models as well.

One of my favorite role models is a French monk named Brother Lawrence. Brother Lawrence wrote a group of letters that were later compiled into a book entitled “The practice of the presence of God”. He worked at manual labor until his death in 1691, and he wrote about how to live in God’s presence, and do everything in which you are involved, to the honor of God. Here’s an excerpt from his tenth letter:

“Let us think of Him perpetually. Let us put all our trust in Him. I doubt not but that we shall soon find the effects of it in receiving the abundance of His grace, with which we can do all things, and without which we can do nothing but sin.”

Purposefully choosing to put thoughts like these before me, puts me in a place where I’m able to receive God’s outlook on life, to experience His passion, even in the ordinary business of daily living.

If you’ve ever spent any time around a person involved in a 12-step group you’ll soon hear a popular phrase they use: “Attitude of Gratitude”. That’s what I want to have. I’ve found that a simple way to help myself have that attitude on any given day is to look for the good in every situation, to look for how God is giving good gifts to me, and then choose to speak words of thankfulness to my God. Sometimes I speak these words of gratitude aloud and other times, due to life situations, I silently contemplate them in my mind. I’ve seen over the past few years as I’ve chosen to practice this, that there are so many ways that God is blessing me. I’ve seen that there are many blessings that I’ve failed to see in the past because I was choosing to look at the things that I wanted but did not have, and failed to recognize all the good that I already had. It’s hard to not experience the presence of God and passion of the Holy Spirit when I’m thanking and praising Him.

Music is the language of heart and it lifts me to places that I can not take myself. I’ve noticed that David at Kingdom Bloggers frequently mentions this same thing, that listening to music that is uplifting for me during my commute to work, or during tasks at home, helps me remain conscious of God. Helps me stay in constant communication with Him.

Repeatedly I’ve noticed that as I perform those tasks before me to the best of my ability, that as I choose excellence, the fires of the passion in my soul are stoked. In the interest of honesty here, I need to make note that I’ve learned this truth as much from when I’ve done a half-baked job, as from when I’ve done my very best. Something about giving my best, doing my best, stirs up joy inside me. This truth is totally independent from the notice of others; there are so many things in life that we can do extremely well and no one will ever know, but we know and God knows.

So I’ve shared that staying in the Word, keeping godly role models in my eye sight, gratitude, music, and pursuing excellence, are what I’ve found assist me in staying inspired by God, and stir up His passion within me, even in the ordinary business of day to day living.

But what about you, what have you found helps you stay inspired by God in daily life?

If I were a pastor....

2011-04-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

Today as I was getting ready for church I was thinking about the sermons that I've heard about giving. For the most part, they've all been good sermons. Typically they've included Bible passages such as Malachi 3:9-11, Matthew 6:27-32, Luke 6:37-39, and Luke 18:28-30. Very good stuff!

But this morning I was thinking about the reason that compels me to give. I like who I become when I give. I become a better person when I'm giving. So I guess if I were a pastor that's what I'd preach about giving - that giving changes your heart.

I've really noticed this at my current job. I make less than half of what I made at my last job. Yet, due to the way things are, I find I'm frequently giving money for one thing or another at work; things like fund raisiers for the Special Olympics, or to do something special for my staff at a home after the DPH has left to thank them for all their hard work, etc. I'm also so inspired by the selflessness of some of the people with whom I get to work, that I find myself giving more on a personal level as well. Through all of this I just can't help but notice how generally happier I am with myself, how much more content I feel.

What compels you to give?

Supplementing with moral excellence

2011-03-30T08:14:00.001-07:00

As I was reading from 2 Peter 1:1-10 this morning these words caught my attention in the 3rd-8th verses of The Message paraphrase:

3 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

8 The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There's always been this tension for me between who the Word says that I am in Christ and who I see myself being in daily life. That same tension is here again; verse 3 says that I've been given everything I need to live a godly life. But you have just to ask my teen sons to hear how I'm not always loving, patient, and living for everyone's else's best - sometimes I'm selfish. But what caught my attention about this passage is that there's a connection between what I've been given in verse 3 to how it gets played out in my life - verses 5-7. It talks about responding to this truth by supplementing my faith with some actions. There's so much here in these verses that I'm going to need to be thinking on them for the next few days.

Today I'm starting at the beginning of that list with the middle section of verse 5:

Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence

So what's moral excellence? How do we supplement our faith with it? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

Does He really mean ALL things?

2011-03-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week over Kingdom Bloggers we're talking how God uses ALL things, our own sin included, to work together for our good.

What about you, how have you seen God use even your sin to ultimately bring good into your life?

Can you be uncompromising AND loving?

2011-03-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

Seems like I've always struggled as I try to figure out the how of loving people, but not compromising concerning sin. This morning as I read 1 I Kings 18 I thought about this again.

During this time in Israel's history, the climate was to be "open minded". The king's wife set up worship places for both Baal and Asherah. As I seek to read between the lines in I Kings 15-18, it seems like the people are trying to make life work. I Kings 18:21 records that the people were silent when Elijah challenged them about who they believed in. It was as if they were trying to assume the mediocre stance of non commitment. While it could be easy to say how wrong they were; I can also see how easy it would be to fall into that, to just want to get along.

Sometimes I struggle with the same thing. When the media, people with whom I work, everywhere around me, is pointing out how intolerant and unloving Christians are. When these same sources are indicating that things that God clearly says are sin the Bible are just "choices" and that everyone is entitled to their own choices. In this climate I struggle. I struggle to find ways to show my love for people without compromising my own knowledge and beliefs about what is right and wrong.

I try to do this by not getting caught up in debates with unbelievers about moral issues; since they do not see the Bible as truth any way. At the same time, I do not change my own beliefs and if push comes to shove I will state my own thoughts (but I've found that frequently people are much more interested in sharing their own thoughts than listening to mine). I try to let God give me His love for people and look for opportunities to reach out to the people around me. Life is tough and people hurt; I try to notice what's going on with people and offer support and encouragement in both words and thoughtful actions. Yet....is that enough?

What about you, do you struggle with being loving and not compromising the truth? What are some things that you've found helpful?

Why are we at war in Libya?

2011-03-20T14:21:00.001-07:00

Remember how President George W Bush was crucified by the left during a 9 month debate over the war in Iraq?

Well, what's the left saying now that President Obama approved the launch of Tomahawk missiles effectively engaging us in a Libyan civil war? This decision came with no debate in Congress and one UN Resolution that was only voted on 48 hours before.

While I understand the concept that America believes that we have a moral obligation to stand with those who seek freedom from oppression and who seek self-government for their people. I understand that it's terrible that Qadhafi attacks his own people. But why are we standing up with these specific people and not others around the globe with similar plights? If you're looking at any kind of humanitarian scale so to speak, Libya is small compared to Rwanda. If you're looking at our interests, Libya only represents about 2% of the world's oil. Also, there's plenty of historical information out there to suggest that intervention in a civil war only prolongs the conflict.

I agree with columnist George F. Will's comment when speaking on ABC's This Week:

“It is not worth war,” Will said, arguing that the U.S. should not become entangled in “tribal” conflicts. “We have taken sides in that civil war on behalf of people we do not know or understand, for the purpose — not avowed, but inexorably our purpose — of creating a political vacuum by decapitating the government. Into that vacuum, what will flow we do not know and cannot know.”

So why are we in Libya? Also, there are the basic questions as to what is our strategy here, our specific goals? How will the military know when they are finished in Libya?

In a three-minute statement to the media on Saturday after the first cruise missiles were launched, President Obama noted 6 times the international support for the use of force, saying the attack on Libya was an "international effort" and that the U.S. was acting with a "broad coalition" that included European and Arab partners. My concern is that, while I understand why France would want to become involved, I don't understand our involvement. For Europe it is about mass migration. They have a direct interest here that they have to protect. But just because it serves Europe's needs to be involved, does not make it good policy for America.

What are your thoughts on America becoming involved in Libya's civil war?

I don’t have to defend myself

2011-03-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today as I read 1 Kings 17:17-24 I was inspired by the actions of Elijah.

If you remember, this is the account where he had been living in Zarephath with a widow and her son. In 1 Kings 17:8-16 is the account of how he came to live with them. The account of how, in a time of drought and famine, God made this widow’s oil and flour never run out so that she could continue to feed the three of them. But then in these next verses the woman’s son becomes sick and dies.

In her grief and despair at her son’s death, the woman does as people are apt to do – she lashes out at those around her. In this case, that was Elijah. What inspired me though was Elijah’s response. What was conspicuously absent was self defense. I’ve got to tell you that when I’m attacked by someone, the first thing that I want to do is to explain myself, defend my actions. But Elijah didn’t; he was moved by her pain and went to God to intercede for her. He was more concerned about her grief than himself.

That I would be the same way.

The Battlefield of the Mind

2011-03-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week over Kingdom Bloggers we've been talking about spiritual warfare. I talked specifically about the Battlefield of the Mind.

What have been your experiences with spiritual warfare?

Is Americal Exceptional?

2011-03-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

If you’ve read more than three things I’ve written, you’ve probably noticed that I’m frequently delighted by words. Periodically something in the Bible, or a book, or that someone said, will really grab my attention and captivate my thoughts and emotions. Such was the case today when I read a quote from Shimon Peres. Peres is Israel’s former prime minister and current president. A couple of years ago someone had asked Shimon Peres what he thought of America’s ongoing conflict in Iraq and here was his response:

“First I must put something in context,” he began. “America is unique in the history of the world. In the history of the world, whenever there has been war, the nation that is victorious has taken land from the nation that has been defeated – land has always been the basis of wealth on our planet. Only one nation in history, and this during the last century, was willing to lay down hundreds of thousands of lives and take no land in its victory – no land from Germany, no land from Japan. America. America is unique in the history of the world for its willingness to sacrifice so many of its precious sons and daughters for liberty, not solely for itself but also for its friends.”

I adore this statement because I actually believe in what President Obama has referred to as “American exceptionalism” (only in his references, this is not seen as something good). Of course I don’t think that America is the only nation with anything good to offer, but I do believe in the historic American fundamental principles of economic and political freedom. I grow weary of the attitude I keep hearing that America is just one nation among many. I am saddened by the fact that not too long ago our own commander in chief president Obama went on what has since been referred to as “Obama’s American Apology Tour”. I’ve been disappointed in recent years to see us not honor our commitment to our allies, and watch as our own president has been praised by the likes of such as Hugo Chavez and Mummar Quaddafi.

Am I alone in these thoughts?

The value of the Hidden Life

2011-03-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

This morning I read from Kings 17:1-7.

So off and on today I’ve been thinking about the time Elijah spent at Cherith.

I don’t know about you, but I think that I might get frustrated by the whole Cherith experience. It was a time in history when Israel was filled with wickedness; there had been one bad king after another. Then Elijah comes along, a guy who doesn’t appear to have much of a pedigree (but whose name means “my God is Yahweh”) and he tells the evil king (who has an even more evil wife) that there is one God who is supreme, the God of Israel, and that this God will cause there to be no rain if Elijah but says the word. Then God directs Elijah to go to Cherith. At Cherith God provides food for Elijah’s needs via ravens bringing it to him, and water for him because there’s a stream there. The supernatural provision part is way cool, but I think I’d get bored after awhile. A more spiritual person might say that it was just him and God and how awesome that was; but I think I’d get bored.

Charles Swindoll, in his book about Elijah, brings out the point that Cherith was a time of being hidden. In his book he talks about how “we must be as willing to be hidden as to be out front”. Swindoll also quotes EB Meyer who said “the value of the hidden life…Every saintly soul that would wield great power with people must win it in some hidden Cherith. We cannot give out unless we have previously taken in.”

Elijah’s time at Cherith really speaks to me because of what I’ve been going through over the past several months. I’ve already talked enough here about my job loss and subsequent trials, that even I’m sick of hearing about it! Not only are there my own experiences, but I’ve had several dear ones, friends and acquaintances, who have been experiencing being “hidden” lately. People who have prepared, participated, worked, and now are having experiences that seem to put them on hold. Some of the experiences I’ve observed are: A few people I care about share how they have been diligent to prepare for ministry and then it seems that no ministry doors are opening for them. A friend who has been a wonderful children’s pastor at a church for more than 10 years was just fired. A young man whose heart has been set on being an Army Ranger and who’d worked hard for years to get to that point, recently failed the program. Maybe I’ve seen so much of this lately because the truth of life is that a time for seeming to be put on hold comes to us all.

When I’m in a Cherith time in my life, it’s easy to feel useless. But the Holy Spirit encouraged me that God uses these experiences, and this time away, to shape me for the next step in His plan.

What about you, have you experienced being “hidden” lately? How’s God used this time in your life?

Who are you hoping to see?

2011-03-06T12:21:00.000-08:00

I'd be interested to know who you'd like to see as the next Republican presidential candidate.

I don't know who I want.

I did order Mitt Romney's book No Apology: The Case for American Greatness through my local library. I've heard that this book crystallizes Romney's thinking about running for president, so I figure reading that will give me better insight into this candidate.

But what about you, who are you hoping to see on the GOPs ticket in 2012?

What's next?

2011-03-02T19:11:00.000-08:00

This week over Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about what we believe God's got next in store for us, our personal destiny.

What about you, what do you believe God's got next for you?

Spiritual Gifts

2011-02-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

This week over Kingdom Bloggers we're talking about spiritual gifts God's used through us to love others.

What about you, have you seen God bless others through His spiritual gits in you?

The Tyranny of Self

2011-02-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

This morning these words from 1 Peter 4:1 (MSG) grabbed my attention:

Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

To be candid, I’ve lived a life filled with the tyranny of self; and have a whole legacy of addictions and unhealthy relationships to show for it. However, in these last few years I’ve seen some changes in my life - I’ve simply come to the point where I see that my ways weren’t getting me where I really want to go, that God’s ways are best.

Yet, still….those of you who read my words here very often are aware of how I’ve struggled over the past couple of years with my job & career, and with my teen sons. In these two realms of my life I’ve kind of figured that since my desires are basically good and right desires, that of course it’s reasonable to seek earnestly after what I want to see happen in these areas.

I’m not saying that this verse means that it’s wrong to seek after these things, yet when I look at this verse I’m confronted with an entirely different perspective.

As I read these words from 1 Peter 4:1 it’s like my world gets turned upside down and looked at from the backside. In this world-from-the-backside, expecting to get my way is something to avoid; where as in my front-view-world the whole approach is to strategize how to achieve my way. In this world-from-the-backside, expecting to get one’s way is for babies, something to be weaned from. The weaning process is the experience of NOT getting what I want, and learning to be content in Jesus during the midst of these painful experiences.

Wow. So simple. But not at all easy.

I’d really be interested in your thoughts on this; how do you surrender your will? What does it look like in your life to be free from expecting to get your own way?

What about when you’re not sure what’s right?

2011-02-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

Alternate Title: Another vent post

Sometimes in Christian circles we spend time talking about how we just need to do the right thing. But what about situations when it’s not at all clear what is the right thing to do?

In the past those kinds of situations have come up a lot in my work, and I always just pray and “give it my best shot”. But I find it more difficult when it comes to my teen son because the situations are emotionally charged.

In short, this son is giving me much grief; he’s definitely not seeking after God, and is pursing pleasure in many of the wrong places. He went from being a basically A & B student to failing classes. He’s disrespectful, and my husband John caught him and some friends smoking Marijuana. When he went to visit a college that he ended up signing on with for a football scholarship, he called me and spoke about how much fun he was having playing “beer dice” (now why would he tell his mother such a thing?!) When I try to talk with him, he’s not interested in what I have to say. When I set limits or consequences, if at all possible, he ignores them.

This week I received a progress report from his school that showed that he’s in danger of failing one class, and as of now has an F in another class. The class where he’s at an F right now wrote in the comments section that he has too many absences and tardies. Yet I drive him to school early each and every day. So last night I called and tried to get his biological father to cancel or remove his cell phone service. I explained that this would limit his ability to text friends prior to school so that he could leave with them once I’d dropped him off. I also explained that I have told this son that he is no longer able to have friends over to our home until he gets these grades back up and that I am concerned that he will just text friends to come pick him up and leave with him. My hope was that not having his cell could assist with managing this. His father refused. His dad agreed that this son is going a bad way, and had no suggestions as to things we could do to be helpful, but was not willing to cancel the service.

The “right thing” to do is not so obvious. All I know to do is to think on what is true and act accordingly. So I spent some time today pondering truth principles and came up the following:

God loves this son more than I could ever dream of loving him, and will not stop seeking him out to bring him back to Himself.
The prodigal son’s father never held his bad behavior against him in terms of loving that son and extending him forgiveness when he tired of his sinful ways. The time will come when this son realizes that the paths he’s pursing are not leading where he wants to go (and may that time be sooner than later). May I be there loving him and accepting him when that time comes.
I can not control another person’s behavior. Not even my own son. But I can control my actions. This includes things like:

I can say that his friends are not welcome in our home right now. I can even talk to them if they do come over and politely explain.

I can choose to no longer give him money for anything since I am not certain that he’s spending it as he claims.

I can let him know that the curfew is at 10PM on week days and 12 midnight on the weekends and lock up the house at those times.

I can pray, pray, pray and pray some more.

I can choose to trust God and apply those words from Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG):

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when God displaces worry at the center of your life.

What about you, what do you do when it’s not clear what’s the right thing to do?

What's your heart full of?

2011-02-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

Since Valentine’s Day was this week, we’re celebrating Love in general, and our spouses in specific, over at Kingdom Bloggers this week. I shared a bit today of what my heart is full of when I think about my husband John.

What about you, what's your heart full of at Valentine's Day?

The Word that Conceived New Life

2011-02-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

This morning the following words from 1 Peter 1:23-25 caught my attention:

Your new life is not like your old life. Your old birth came from mortal sperm, your new birth comes from God’s living Word. Just think: a life conceived by God himself! That’s why the prophet said,

The old life is a grass life,
Its beauty as short-lived as wildflowers;
Grass dries up, flowers droop
God’s Word goes on and on forever.

This is the Word that conceived the new life in you.

It’s definitely a mystical occurrence. God’s Word in us caused us to come into the new life that’s referred to in 1 Corinthians 5:17. But that Word is not simply the words on the page of the Bible, it’s the Holy Spirit taking those words and making them a real life revelation to our hearts. I’m so grateful that He did that for me!

Countless times I’ve watched people I know read the same words from the Bible that I find breath-taking in their beauty and meaning, only to remain un-moved by them. That’s about the Spirit revealing truth to me in my inner most being, and that’s all about His grace and goodness to me, it’s nothing about me. But these thoughts do create a desire in me to pray for the people in my life who have not yet received God’s Word. To pray that the enemy be bound so that God’s Word can pierce their hearts and bring them to new life.

May I never take for granted this new life that He’s given me through His Word.

What about you, what grabs you from this passage?

How do you like to spend time with God?

2011-02-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are each sharing about creative ways to spend time with God.

What about you, how do you like to spend time with God?

Character that you can count on

2011-02-08T22:04:00.000-08:00

Last night I read the following words of Joanna Weaver’s in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World:

“God’s ways are not our ways, but His character is still dependable.”

Those words have been echoing about in my head since I read them.

As I shared here recently, I’ve been struggling with my whole work situation. I’ve been frustrated because, although I really like the people who we serve and the people with whom I work, I want to do more. I also want to make more money. Yet I continue to experience rejection as I apply for one job after another. A part of me knows that God knows best, but another part of me struggles because I want things to be different.

Even though I can not see how things will turn out, I am grateful that I know that God loves me and has good plans for my life (Romans 8:27-29, Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Peter 1:2). I’m grateful that even in the midst of uncomfortable circumstances that I do not understand, I have a glimpse of God. That bit of Him that I know, convinces me of His trustworthiness.

I am grateful that He actually wants me to get to know Him better. I’m convinced that as I come to know God better, that I will find trust easier.

What about you, have you had any experiences lately where God has shown Himself dependable in your life? Are there any scriptures that you cling to because they assure you of God’s heart and faithfulness?

What about when things just don't seem to work?

2011-02-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

God is good and I'm more than grateful for His great love for me. Grateful that Jesus took my sins on Him and has made me clean, grateful that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me and gives me hope, power, direction, conviction, and strength.

But have you ever noticed that sometimes, even though we have all these good and wondrous things as Believers in Christ, that sometimes life can sure knock you down? Sometimes it's hard to figure out why God's letting what's going on happen?

I remain ever grateful for the passage in Isaiah 55:6-12 that reminds me that His ways are not our ways, that He is God and there will always be much that I do not understand.

Now me, I struggle with being selfish (and if the truth be known, sometimes I'm a real whiner at heart).

A couple of years ago I was fired for the only time ever from a job. I'd worked for the company for close to 9 years, had an excellent track record, and had one of those 6 figure jobs. I was shocked and devastated; truly understood that phrase about feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me. Like many people in similar circumstances I felt lost for quite a while after that, had troubles sleeping and struggled to find my place in life. Then, as I began to go to job interviews and was turned down one after another, well, let's just say that, although I've never stopped loving God and choosing to speak words of gratitude for all that the blessings in my life, I was struggling deep down inside with feelings of bewilderment and discouragement.

A few months ago I was hired for a job that was basically a step down position that paid less than half what I used to make. But I believe in what we're doing at this company, adore the people whom we serve, and really like my co workers and supervisors. Each and every day that I go to work I do my absolute best and the executive director has made it a point to tell me on a few occasions how happy they are with me. I enjoy my work days. But, ...if I'm candid, I long for more. Long to be in a position where I can use more of the skills that I worked for decades to develop.

So when I'm not at work I continue to try to make myself more marketable. Undertook some intense studying and passed an exam to acquire a certification in human resources. Continue to trust God while I try to do my part by continuing to apply for other positions.

Then just this past week it looked like God was opening a door. I'd seen a job last Sunday afternoon that looked great and was even close to my home (a very rare thing given that I live in a small resort town in the mountains of southern California); so I applied. On Monday that company's recruiter called me and we played phone tag but finally caught each other on Tuesday. She basically pre-screened me then set up for me to come in to their corporate offices (a close to 3hr drive from my home) to interview with several people. Prior to the interview she wanted me to complete their application on line. Since I would be leaving work early on Wednesday, I stayed late on Tuesday. After that I went home and worked on that application. For some reason the application took a long time to complete and then I decided that my resume didn't look good enough and I wanted to put my best foot forward so I re-worked my resume and made copies for Wednesday's interviews. Needless to say, I got very little sleep that night but ran well on Wednesday utilizing adrenaline. The first two interviews went great and I was thinking that God was really opening the doors, but then came the third interview. It went terrible. I've never had such a bad interview experience. That man and I were as far from "clicking" as is humanly possible. He kept asking "what do you mean by that?" and I kept explaining, using concrete, past work experience examples, and he kept coming to conclusions that were not the ones I was trying to make. I could tell that he was really not liking me. When the interview ended he took me into a waiting area while he went and handed by file to a woman behind a desk. I don't think they realized that I could see them; he wrote something in my file. The woman called the recruiter and when the recruiter came down the woman pointed to something that the man had written in my file and laughed. The recruiter however looked frustrated. She came out and spoke extremely kindly (like she felt sorry for me) to me and sent me on my way with an I'll call you comment (which I think we both know that she won't).

So I found myself asking - hey God, why'd I have to go through all that if I'm not even gonna get the job? Then I feel guilty, because of course my problems are extremely petty compared to all the other hardships in the world - hunger, victimization, death of a child, debilitating illness, etc. I mean honestly - how can I complain?

Oh but I can, because I'm human. Because this is my experience.

Wish that I could come up with some great and profound response to all this. But I can not. Instead I continue to move forward in what truth I do have, convinced that even though I do not understand it, God is in control of all things. Convinced that while it is not within my power to control all the outcomes, it is my responsibility to do what I know to do today.

What about you, ever have those experiences when things just don't seem to work? What do you do when that happens?

Sharing the Love

2011-01-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

When Jesus stood up in the temple and proclaimed the beginning of His earthly ministry (Luke 4:17-19) He read from Isaiah and let the world know that He was here to proclaim good news to the poor, freedom to the prisoners, recovery of sight to the blind, and to set the oppressed free. While He was engaged in His earthly ministry He sent His disciples out to do similar work (Matthew 10:5-15). Before He left his disciples and ascended up into heaven (Matthew 18:18-20) He commissioned them to go make more disciples.

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are each sharing about what this process has looked like in our lives; how we've participated in this work of Christ's. An experience we've had in sharing His love.

What about you, what's an experience you've had recently in sharing Christ's love?

How do you handle change?

2011-01-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

Frequently, when I'm finding a brother or sister in Christ to be irritating, the words from Galatians 6:1-4 come to my mind. I think about how God tells me that when someone gets caught up in sin, I'm to help the person and to refrain from being prideful because I could just as easily fall into the same sin.

Sometimes in church people can be annoying. Just recently I had such a situation. A lady at my church of whom I am quite fond, a woman who has on several occassions gone out of her way to extend friendliness and welcome toward me, surprised me by her rigid attitude.

The situation was that we live in a very small town (posted population 3,500) and attend a small church. For what I'm guessing is just about forever, there have been two AM Sunday services at that church. The interim pastor decided to combine the services and have one Sunday AM service. There weren't enough child care volunteers to produce quality children's ministry during both services and the building was scantily filled at each service. By combining to one service the service is filled and there are enough workers to produce a quality children's program. But this dear one was complaining and even saying that she is going to ask people to join her in not attending that one service in protest; I was shocked. I thought to myself of how much I love this woman but how totally unyeilding she is to change and about how sometimes change can be a good thing.

But then I had to look at myself and ask - how open to change am I? Do I insist that things stay the way that is comfortable for me? I know that I want to be a person who goes with God's flow and doesn't become unyeilding - but am I?

What about you, are you flexible to change or is it difficult for you?

Do you have a favorite Bible verse or passage?

2011-01-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are each sharing about our favorite Bible verse or passage and how we've applied it in our lives.

I'd be interested to know, what's a favorite Bible verse or passage of yours?

Grateful

2011-01-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

Today as I drove to the memorial service for a friend's daughter, I was thinking about Titus 1:1-3. I'm so grateful; grateful that because of Jesus I have hope, hope that this life here on earth is not all there is. Grateful that God sought me out and gave me the faith to believe in Him.

I was blessed by the sheer simplicity of the service. Blessed by the brothers and sisters in Christ from our local church in attendance; blessed by the knowledge that we're in the business of life together and are there for one another in both good and bad times. The pastor's assurances from John 11 that there is life after our lives on this earth have ended, and that God does have a plan (even when what's happening doesn't make sense to us or even seem right) encouraged my heart.

Even when life hurts, I'm grateful that I'm never alone.

What about you, what have you been grateful for lately?

Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr Today

2011-01-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

As I think of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I think about how God has people who He uses in each generation. I'm grateful for what Dr. King gave to our nation.

What are you thinking on?

2011-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are each sharing about our favorite book in the Bible and how God's used that book in our lives.

I'd be interested to know, what's a book from the Bible that God's used in your life recently?

Not everything that our kids do wrong is our fault

2011-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

During his sermon on Sunday the pastor made a side comment with which I don't wholly agree. When we were at home later talking about all the thoughts that the sermon brought up, my husband John laughed when I mentioned this one and said he knew I'd have something to say about it.

The pastor had said that when he was a youth pastor he sometimes felt like parents brought their youth to him and had a "now you fix him" attitude. He basically said that they'd spent 12 years plus not spiritually investing in their kid and then expected him to fix the mess in just an hour or so once a week. Although I see his point, I don't think it's that simple.

First off there's not a parent out there who won't tell you that they have messed up at some point. No matter how much the parents love God and have sought to invest in their children, they are human beings and as such are prone to mess up. Secondly, I believe that parents can do a lot of things right, really love God and invest spiritually into their children, and when the child becomes a teen he may choose to follow a different path for a time. I've seen this happen repeatedly to people who I know, and have personally experienced it to some extent with one of my three sons.

What about you, do you think that if a teen is not following after God, then it must be because their parents messed up?

All this and heaven besides

2011-01-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

Today's sermon brought up a lot of thoughts for me. I'll most likely be processing and posting my thoughts stimulated by it for the next few days.

A phrase that came up during the sermon today caught my attention: all this and heaven besides. It came up in relation to Matthew 19:29; where Jesus said that anyone who has lost possessions or relationships for Jesus' sake will receive back a hundred times as much in this life, and then eternal life. The pastor talked about how what we will receive back 100 fold may, or may not, be physical blessings. He talked about the gifts of the Spirit that we see in Galatians 5:22-23, and how Ephesians 1:3-4 tell us that we've been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

As I sat there listening I thought of the many, many, blessings God has given me. In the physical realm there's my husband, children, and health. Then there's the fact that all my sins have been forgiven, that the Holy Spirit actually resides within me, God's presence and direction, His peace, His power, His Word.....so much and so good - and we get heaven too!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by God's goodness and blessing in your life?

Spiritual Snickers Bars

2010-12-31T05:16:00.000-08:00

I'm still thinking about intimacy with God and that chapter from Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver.

One of the concepts that she writes about that I'm thinking on is what she refers to as "spiritual Snickers Bars". She relates how a friend of hers once planned a small dinner party. Her friend spent the entire day cleaning the house and preparing special foods because she wanted this dinner to be a delightful experience for her guests. But around 4PM her friend realized that she'd not taken time to eat and she was ravenous. Her friend thought it was lucky that she kept a secret stash of Snickers bars and she helped herself to two bars from her stash while she took a much deserved break. But that night when her friend sat down to dinner she discovered a problem; there was the wonderful dinner she'd worked hard to prepare, but she no longer had any appetite.

Weaver relates that her friend said that God spoke to her heart that: "we often fill our lives with spiritual Snickers bars - things like friends, books, and shopping. They may be good things, completely innocent things - but not when they take the edge off our hunger for God". Weaver goes on to pose the question of what we turn to fill up our hunger for God.

I've been pondering this question the last couple of days. I see TV, food, and day dreams as my current appetite killers. In the past business was on the list too but my husband John and I have sought during these last few years to simplify and declutter our lives so that now business isn't really a problem. I'm praying for God to empower me to be aware when these innocent things in my life are killing my appetite for Him. I'm also praying that He'd help me come up with creative ways to change my lifestyle and create new habits that sustain my appetite for Him.

What about you, have you noticed any "Spiritual Snickers Bars" that you've been eating lately?

What's God up to?

2010-12-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

As I'm here for a few moment on New Year's Eve, I'm thinking about the change in perspective that has come about for me this year.

In the past I've been a person who always had a plan, really into goal setting. While I still find that there's something to be appreciated about the mentality, I've loosened up a lot. It's like I told a friend recently, I've come to the place where I'm much less invested in praying and striving for my specific outcomes. Repeatedly I've seen that God works in ways that I would have never figured, does things that surprise me. Yet His ways are always ultimately best (even though I can't always see this at the time). It's as if I've come to be more interested to trying to figure out what God is doing, and to join in with His work. I find myself asking - what's God up to?

I'm like everybody else, I've got some trying situations in my life. One of my sisters is a paranoid schizophrenic who refuses to take medication and who frequently mis perceives situtations and make corresponding bad decisions that put her in danger or make life difficult. My other sister lives with my mother and does not treat my mother right, and is extremely irresponsible with money so I'm constantly needing to help them out financially; I have concerns for my neice in that whole situation. My middle son appears spiritually uninterested. My youngest son seems to seek to spend the least amount of time possible around me, as if my very presence is a source of annoyance. I'm working at a job where I'm coming to admire, like, and appreciate the people with whom I work, but that is beneath my abilities, credentials, and training. The job also pays significantly less than I've made in any position in the past ten years and involves a long commute which I do not relish. Yet I know that God says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for my life, a plan to give me a hope and a future.

Repeatedly in the past I've seen God take situations that seemed wretched or hopeless, in my own life or in the lives of others, and bring good outcomes. I'm reminded of a verse in Ephesians 3:20 that says that God is able to do beyond what I can even imagine. So as I look at these difficult situations in my life, I approach this new year expectantly, interested to see how God is going to work in these situations. I also desire to learn to pray more (more effectively, frequently...I'm not sure exactly how to say it...only just that I want more in my life with regard to prayer). I want to be able to hear His voice better and to have my way of thinking to change to come more into line with His way of thinking. I want to see more of His power manifest in my life. These are the things I'm looking to for this upcoming year.

What about you, what's on your heart as you approach 2011?

What was one of your favorite things this Christmas?

2010-12-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are sharing about something we enjoyed most this Christmas. I'm sharing a bit today about my family's great experience with our advent wreath devotions.

What was one of your favorite things this Christmas?

How comfortable are you with intimacy?

2010-12-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday I look forward to our small group. We've been reading a chapter from a book entitled Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver prior to each meeting and then going through a corresponding Bible study at the back of the book when we meet.

As I'm looking forward to our time together tonight I'm reflecting on the chapter for this week; it's about intimacy with God. I approached this chapter with some trepidation because the truth of the matter is that, although I long for intimacy with God, I'm not at all good at being close to God or to people either. I'm one of those people who it takes a really long time before I'm comfortable around others. If I'm totally candid, the truth is that just as I don't know what to say when I'm around people (aside from those very few with whom I've become totally comfortable), it frequently feels awkward unless there's some specific agenda that is to take place (as in work relationships).

In the past I've frequently approached God much the same way. Comfortable to use the passage from Matthew 6:9-13 as an outline, or to work my way through a specific Bible study curriculum, or even to just read the Bible. What I'm not particularly comfortable with is being quiet, being "with" God, or to take out more than 20 minutes for prayer.

Because of this deficit in me, I approached this chapter eager to learn. I'm sure grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who accepts us as we are, yet works with us to change and grow and become better.

What about you, are you, how would you rate your intimacy with God? Do you feel close to God? Do you know you're living in connection with Him and experiencing the outgrowth of that connection in your life, work, and relationships?

Christmas time musings

2010-12-23T07:22:00.001-08:00

Everything has just seemed so extra amped up lately; all the usual PLUS kind of thing. Today I'll be attending my fourth Christmas party connected to my job; there've been so many because of the various types of staff with whom I work and there have been parties to cater to each group. So I've had that plus most of the regular duties. But I find myself continually grateful that I work with such good and kind people, I really like them.

Last night as I drove back into our mountain town I was greeted by a light dusting of snow. My heart rejoiced. Not only in the beauty of the snow, but also in the release from the downpour of rain that has been upon us this week; it's felt as if buckets of water were being continually poured. We need the water in California but the volume was more than could be absorbed.

As I'm leaving for work today I'm thinking about how grateful I am for all Christmas represents for me. Grateful that God chose to leave His glory, majesty, and power and come here to earth in human flesh - grateful for Jesus.

My prayer for myself and all of my brothers and sisters in Christ is that we would experience His great love in a fresh new way, and in doing so, be able to pass that love along today to the people in our lives this day.

A different kind of investment group

2010-12-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about a group that I belong to and how it's a different kind of investment group.

Instead of keeping each other informed about stocks and bonds and investment opportunities, we keep each other informed about our lives. Instead of investing our money, we're investing our time into one another.

Currently there are four of us women and we meet together twice each month. When we meet we talk and laugh a lot. Three of us have teenagers and we share our struggles and triumphs with our kids. We talk about the challenges in our lives. We pray for one another. We share in each other's victories. We study the Bible together. One of the ladies plays the guitar, and she always plays a few songs of praise, adoration and worship that we sing together.

We've been meeting together for close to two years. I'm so grateful that I had these friends when I went through a bunch of terrible stuff at my old job, and when I even lost my job. That was totally devasting and it made such a difference to not have to go through that alone. Sometimes when something really good happens to me, I look forward to getting to share with these ladies all about it. Mostly I just look forward to getting to "let down my hair", to talk and laugh with these ladies. My sons and husband have always been amazed in general with how much women have to talk about when they get together. To me it's just one of the things I adore about women.

I couldn't resist posting this picture because I think it depicts that type of connection that can happen among women. That silly, fun, sisterhood kind of thing.

What about you, do you have a group in your life that makes all the difference for you?

What are some of your favorite Christmas memories?

2010-12-16T14:33:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are sharing about Christmas. My post today is about some fond Christmas memories.

What are some of your favorite Christmas memories?

What new beginnings have you experienced?

2010-12-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are celebrating the the fact that Tony C and his wife just had a baby! In honor of the event we're posting about new life. My post today is about new beginnings with God.

What new beginnings have you experienced?

'Tis the Season

2010-12-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but Christmas kind of slipped up on me this year. It was as if all of the sudden I turned around and Thanksgiving was over, and I was hearing Christmas music everywhere and hadn't had any time to get going on all the Christmas stuff.

I'm sure grateful that our Tuesday small group has been doing a Bible study along with a companion book that's entitled Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. One of the points that the book's author, Joanna Weaver, makes in the book is that there are many good things that you can do, worthy and wonderful causes to which you can comit, but that you'll end up burned out if these are not the things to which God is specifically calling you. She refers to one of my favorite scriptures from Matthew 11:27-29 where Jesus asks if the people are burned out and encourages them that if they follow Him, they don't have to live that way. Weaver makes the point that sometimes we end up burned out and frustrated because we load ourselves down with good things that God isn't calling us to, and that if we'd just take the time to follow what He has for us, that we'll be able to live in His peace.

So, as this Christmas season is beginning, I've been mulling around the question of what's God calling me to this Christmas? How does He want me to lead my family?

I don't know that I have the entire answer yet, but God has spoken a few things to my heart. He's spoken to my heart the need for traditions that keep Jesus center, the need for service and giving, the need to recognize that as my children grow some of the things we've always done won't continue to be relevant, and the need to recognize that the "perfect Christmas" is NOT what it's all about.

So as we're starting the season I've been making some changes to the usual "perfect Christmas" stuff that I do that always leaves me so tired. Like decorating the house. Over the years I've collected many wonderful gifts, things my sons have made, and even some things I've purchased myself, that I use to decorate. In the past we've literally removed boxes of books, framed photos, wall art, and other home decorations to make room for all the Christmas things. All that takes a lot of work. This year we chose instead to only remove a few things and put out our two large nativity sets, put up a live tree with white lights (which we'll eventually decorate), have our advent wreath on the dining table, and a "Celebrate Jesus" banner outside. For this year, we're simplifying and doing without the rest.

As I've recognized that my 2 sons still at home are now practically adults, I realize that they have no desire to particpate in many of the things such as the Christmas chain, 7 presents for Jesus box opening, etc. that we've done in the past. So the only tradition we've kept from those is the advent wreath which we started tonight (I know, our family's time line has never followed with the rest of the liturgical world, and we've always done the dates a bit different. My sons have never noticed because we've always attended churches that have little to no liturgy). Even tonight the boys seemed a bit resistant, but I persevered to keep the priority of what really matters. For us this time of candle lighting, scripture reading, and reflection on our Hope, Joy, Love, and Peace in Christ, keeps the season in perspective. I'd mentioned earlier in the week that we'd be starting the advent wreath tonight, then today I checked with everybody to set a time to get together. But as that time advanced there were two schools friends at the house and the boys didn't want to do the advent wreath. I explained that I'm not asking a lot, but that this 15 minute time together is priority and that their friends were welcome to either join us or stay downstairs playing some Madden football video game in which I'd found them all engaged. Although I recognize that a more spiritual person than I would have somehow managed to get the friends engaged too, I was simply grateful that my own boys came to the advent table; that this did not become an issue of contention. I think that keeping to just this one thing that we all do together increased their willingness (of course the fact that this is the one time in a year that I have egg nog avaible doesn't hurt either). I was grateful that as we each took turns reading the script, scriptures, and prayers, that everyone got into the message.

I'm still praying about what God would have us specifically do this year with reguard to giving and serving. There have been some awesome projects which we've been involved with in the past that we could do again,...or maybe God's calling us to a new thing this year. We'll see.

What about you, how's the Christmas season starting out for you this year? What are some things that you do to make Christmas meaningful for you?

What has God taught you this past year?

2010-12-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are celebrating the first anniversary of the Blog by each sharing about something God has taught us this past year.

I'd be interested to know, either here, or over there, what's something God's taught you this past year?

Warning: Rant Post

2010-11-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

My youngest two sons, ages 18 & 16 are driving me nuts!

OK, so I may very well have already been nuts even before they came along, or for sure by the time they became teens. But still, they really are getting to me.

Great marytr that I am, I feel like I do a lot for them. Feel like I go out of my way to pack them great lunches and ensure we have nutritious dinners together. Plan my schedule around their events. Go to any sporting event in which they particpate, even if it is a 2hr drive after a work day followed by a 1 1/2 hour drive to get home. Try to foster a home life that involves prayer and seeking after God. Anyway....you get the idea.

But their perception of me and my perception are not at all the same. According to them there seems nothing that I do right. Life is a never ending litany of hearing how I didn't do this or that, or did such and such wrong, or that I'm too negative, or that I should do this or that for them.

Agggghhhh, I'm letting these guys really get to me!

Any other parents of teenagers out there? Do your kids ever act entitled and unappreciative? (Although the Bible is clear that we're not to compare ourselves to others I'm here trying to find others who feel the same so I won't feel like quite such a failure. So I can say, see so and so is someone who I really like and he has the same challenges that I do with my teens)

It's not easy forgiveness that's the problem, it's denial

2010-11-26T11:00:00.000-08:00

For my new job I have to drive quite a distance, and for some time due to traffic, so I've taken to checking books on CD out from the local county library. Recently I've been listening to a trilogy The Seasons of Grace by Beverly Lewis. These books have got me thinking on some things.

I've been thinking about various relgious groups' approach to sin in the life of their followers. I've never been comfortable with how some groups require their members to do actions, a pentance of some kind, as part of the process of forgiveness. I think of Bible passages such as Titus 3:4-6, 2 Corinthians 5:15-17, Psalm 130:3-5, 1 John 1:4-10 that show God's forgiveness. I see that God is gracious to give us forgiveness based on His character, not on the basis of our deeds or worthiness.

However, I think the concern for many is that if we offer an “easy forgiveness”, that sin and it’s results will be neglected. In retrospect I think that the Christian tradition I’ve lived much of my life around has somewhat done that very thing; or more certainly, I can see how in the past, in my eagerness to emphasize the forgiveness of God, I’ve not always fully dealt with the sin.

The problem with that is that the sin itself does have repercussions. The reason God considers some actions as sin is because they harm ourselves or others. So, even though we can live in His forgiveness and without guilt, we still need to deal with our sin so we can be healthy and mature. We need to look at what went wrong and why, at who all it affected and if there are actions we need to take to make amends to those we’ve hurt by our sin, or if there are changes we need to make in our life to avoid this sin in the future. Sometimes even though forgiveness is given instantly, it may take time for the people whom we have hurt to process through their own emotions before we can re-establish relationships.

All of this takes time and is a process. Yet we live in an instant, micro wave, society. But I can tell you that as I look back on my life and those with whom I’m close, that we never grow and have the kind of life and relationships that we want unless we go ahead and engage in this process; it’s one of those things that must happen sooner or later.

What about you, do you ever struggle with achieveing the balance between forgiveness and dealing with sin?

A special Sunday

2010-11-21T13:18:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned here before, I have to work to refrain from being negative, critical and a complainer. It is only as I spend time in the Word, letting the Holy Spirit change the way I think, that I can choose to live differently.

By Saturday night I'd just about lost my will to even try; I was feeling discouraged and negative. As I went to bed I promised myself that I would refrain from the temptation to lick my wounds in private, to isolate, and instead I would make myself go to church the following morning. I mean, after all here I was praying that God would empower me to change my attitude, who knows that He might not use the service to do that very thing?

This morning I woke up to the phone ringing, a fact which I totally ignored. Then my cell phone rang with my son's ring tone (need I mention that this was the son whose been giving me all kinds of grief lately?!) I answered the phone to find out that he was on Hwy 2 and his friend could drive him no further since his friend did not have chains for his car; my groggy, sleep laden, brain was slowly grasping that this must mean that it snowed last night. I assured him that I'd be right there to pick him up. I quickly dressed and went outside to see that beautiful sight of first snow. The world dusted with that pristine whiteness. How could even my morning crabby self not rejoice in such beauty and splendor!

Church was really something. It reminded me of why I love belonging to a local group of Believers.

Unfortunately the pastor fainted between the two services and had to leave via ambulance. A fact of which, since I arrived to the second service just a few minutes late, I was unaware. The music worship time was, as always, a time when I felt brought into the presence of God. When I felt privileged to get to praise His great and awesome name. Then one of the leaders got up and explained about the pastor and, since the pastor was not there to preach, this man shared from his own heart what God has been teaching him.

This leader who shared is not a public speaker kind of guy. He's a recently retired CPA. But he's a man who has a genuine relationship with the savior, and in whose life God is working; so of course he has something to share. He gave a good word for about 6 or 7 minutes. It blessed me to see how God works in everyone's heart and life who is open; this brother's word that God's been working in his life validated that truth. Then he said that since it's the week of Thanksgiving, he wanted to open it up for anyone to share with the group what they are thankful concerning.

As I heard my brothers and sisters share, my heart just overflowed. I felt so grateful to be part of this group, so grateful to get to have each of them in my life. There were a couple of men there who I knew had lost jobs this past year during this time of economic trouble, yet there they were expressing words of gratitude for God's goodness and faithfulness. There was a woman rejoicing in the pain she'd encountered as a youngster growing up in a home where fighting and bad feelings had existed between her parents that had made her own life troublesome, yet here she was giving thanks because she appreciated so deeply the wonderful husband, children, and family she enjoys today. A woman who I greatly admire was transparently admitting that she's sought to avoid calls from a woman who was an incredibly time demanding and difficult person, who suffers from debilitating anxiety, but that just the night before God has used her to take the woman to the ER and minister to her through prayer and His Word. Repeatedly as people shared, my heart was blessed by their humility, openness, and grateful attitudes. It is indeed wonderful to be a part of a local family in Christ!

What about you, has God blessed you recently through your church?

Choosing to Believe

2010-11-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was spending time reading the Bible the following words from 1 Peter 4:19B caught my attention:

"trust yourself to God who made you, for He will never fail you."

The context of these words was that Peter was writing to Christians who were undergoing persecution for being Christians. In the preceding verses Peter had talked about how if you suffer for doing wrong, it's not to your credit, but that you should count yourself blessed if you suffer for following Christ's ways.

I'm not being persecuted for being a Christian. But there are certainly things in my life which, through no actual fault of my own, do not go well for me. There are things with which I'm struggling. There is stuff about which I'm frustrated. There are some situations that I do not know how to make what would feel "right" to me.

So today I'm choosing to remind myself of these few words.

I think trusting myself to God means that even when I don't see what I think I should be seeing, I choose to believe good about God. Choose to believe that He really does have it all in control and is working things for my good in terms of the big picture scheme of things. Today I'm choosing to trust myself to my creator and to remind myself that no matter how things may seem, the truth is that He will never fail me.

Growing in God

2010-11-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we are each sharing about something God has changed our mind about.

I'd be interested to know, either here, or over there, what's something God's changed your mind about?

Always an Arnold fan

2010-11-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

The other night Arnold Schwarzenegger was interviewed on Jay Leno and my husband John recorded it so we could watch the interview together. While I was watching the interview, I remembered why I've always liked the man and appreciated his term as governor of California.

He wouldn't talk about who he voted for as the new governor, or how he felt about who won, but he repeatedly insisted that we've got to get past party politics, learn to compromise, and move ahead in California. As always, I appreciated both his tact and his humor. My ever frugal husband John adored when he heard that Arnold makes his family stick to 5 minute showers since we have issues with having enough water in California!

It's been hard times in both California and the rest of the country these past few years and I hate that it's all been blamed on Arnold here in California. I want to take a few moments to note some of the wonderful things Arnold did manage to do while in office:

As a person who ran a business, I was over the top delighted with the workers compensation reform that's taken place.
Then there's the endless list of environmental laws, of reducing greenhouse gases and of having our energy come from 33 percent renewables
He pushed though proposition 49, referred to as "The After School Education and Safety Program Act of 2002."
He pushed through propositions 57 & 58, both of which were not popular but were necessary. They were a valid attempt to help solve some of the state's financial problems. But, obviously, they did not solve the problems. He's had to make a lot of unpopular cuts but what else could he do given the state's economic crunch?
He's always been supportive of gay rights and civil unions but has not supported same sex marriages. A fact that I've appreciated and for which he's been highly criticized.
I don't know that it has helped California per say, but I've always appreciated his wife and his involvement to the Special Olympics which are a cause near and dear to my heart since I've spent many years working with Developmentally Disabled adults.

I appreciated the comment he made during the Leno interview that:

"You can't go around and declare victory about all of the things we have done when, in fact, too many people are out of work, too many people suffering and too many people have no homes or losing their homes,"

There's definitely still a lot to be done in California.

Happy Birthday to Dylan

2010-11-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my middle son's 18th Birthday.

These last couple of years we've experienced some pretty intense tension between us. I think part of that has been due to the very fact that he is becoming a man and becoming his own person.

As I contemplate his step into official "adulthood" today I find myself thinking back to the child he once was, the vision God spoke to my heart about Dylan's destiny, and my gratitude for the person who is Dylan.

There are a few images that will always remain vivid for me regarding Dylan as a boy. When he was 3 & 4 yrs old and the puzzle king; he always wanted to do new and more difficult puzzles. The time after his father had taken him to the circus when he was about 7 yrs old and he was fully delighted with clowns; he wore that top part of a clown head around the house for days giggling as he thought back to the silly clowns. The time he came home from a camp where he spent a week with a counselor and other boys in a tepee; he got off the bus wearing the exact same clothes that he had worn when he left (and I later found all the clean clothes still in his suitcase), a fake coon skin cap on his head, and a huge grin on his face. When he was in 5th grade and liked some girl at school so he bought her an imitation rose at the corner 7-11 store and took it to her at school; I don't think she received it so well since I never heard another thing about it.

Several years ago God gave me a Word about Dylan's destiny and I wrote it out on paper and framed it and put it on his wall. The gist in what God showed me at that time was that God created Dylan to be someone who would make friends easily, and that God would use that to cause Dylan to have a wide sphere of influence. That God would use Dylan to impact the people around him, to lead many people into relationship with God through Christ. Also that God would develop Dylan to be a true and faithful friend.

I'm grateful that Dylan is my son. Grateful for his big heart and unashamed ability to shower affection on those around him. Grateful that he is a person who is moved with compassion for the needs of others. Grateful that he knows how to work hard when he chooses. Grateful that he wants to do something with his life and recognizes that money is not everything.

So here's to Dylan on the big 18.

Sometimes even my dog is smarter than me

2010-11-09T06:07:00.000-08:00

Our dog's name is Jake. We got him from the pound about 4ys ago, when he was close to 5 months old. He's a black, mostly lab with some pit thrown in, dog. He's a real sweet heart who adds a lot of love and joy to our family.

I've often noticed that it doesn't matter where he is, he always finds it exciting when I call to him to come with me to some new location. Even when I'm just getting him to leave the house and go into the back yard. He perks up and seems all excited about the new things to come. He always assumes some new, good, thing or experience is coming his way.

I was thinking about this today and wondering why. I think it's because he just loves and trusts me so much, he's happy and secure knowing I'll only ever do him good.

I'm a good pet owner, but certainly not a perfect one. Yet God is perfect. But I don't always show positive enthusiasm for changes that God allows in my life. It's like I say I trust Him, BUT...

What about you, do you react to change with positive expectancy?

Waiting on the blessing

2010-11-07T18:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes there are truths that I know, but about which I still need to be reminded.

Such was the case in our pastor's sermon today. He's been preaching through the book of 1 Peter on Sundays, and I especially appreciated today's message. He was looking at 1 Peter 3:13-17 and how God can bring blessing through suffering.

I've mentioned both over on Kingdom Bloggers and here about how "The plan" didn't turn out how it was supposed to with regard to my work. That after being unemployed for close to 18 months, I'm now working an hour commute from home for 58% less than I previously made at the company for which I'd worked for 9 years. In one sense of the word, I see this as suffering.

The pastor used an analogy to which I could relate. He talked about how in a kid's mind his parents are being good to him if they give the kid everything the kid wants, when he wants it. But we all know that parents who do that cause their children to become lazy, entitled, and less appealing human beings. As good parents, we don't always give our child everything he wants, but we do make sure to give him everything he needs. The pastor pointed out that this is how God is with us. That sometimes there are situations in our lives that are not what we want, but may very well be what we need.

He talked about how sometimes God will use some situations that are tough for us, to bring truth to others. Or how He will sometimes use tough times in our lives to develop us into better people. How ultimately God does want our best and how we can continue to wait on Him until we see the blessing in situations. He made a statement about how he chooses to be the kind of person who will wait on God until God either changes the circumstances, or until God changes him.

I want to be that kind of person too.

What about you, do you have any circumstances in your life right now where you're in a tough situation and waiting on God to see what He wants to do through this situation?

Praying Through

2010-11-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Over at Kingdom Bloggers this week we've been sharing something each of us is in the midst of praying through concerning.

I'd be interested to know, weather you'd like to share here or over there, what are you praying for? How long have you been praying about this? What's your experience been ?

How do you look at celebrating Halloween?

2010-10-30T12:23:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed that we're not all the same?

There really can be things that two people of Faith feel differently regarding.

The apostle Paul addressed this whole issue in
1 Corinthians 8:4-15. Specifically, in this passage Paul is referring to meal offered to idols. In that time people sacrificed animals to specific idols and people could later purchase that meat to use for eating. Some Believers felt it was wrong to eat that meat because they felt like it would be worshiping those idols. Other Believers thought that since they were not eating the meat for the purpose of anything other than food, it was fine to go ahead and eat it. Paul tells the Believers that of course the meat means nothing and pointed out in the end of verse 8 that:

"We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do."

Then Paul goes on to say that we need to be careful as people of Faith to look out not only for ourselves, but also for others. If a Believer, by eating that meat that was sacrificed to idols, would cause another Believer to stumble, even though there was really nothing wrong with doing it, than it should be avoided. In verse 9 Paul says:

"But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble."

I find similarities in this situation to many of the current festive celebrations that we have today that had pagan roots - such as Halloween.

Although Halloween's origins were pagan, just like the meat sacrificed to idols, that is not what I see being celebrated by most Americans today. For most of us, Halloween is about young children getting to wear fun costumes and get candy. I do not see celebrating Halloween as harmful to my faith. But I know some very wonderful Christian brothers and sisters that do.

In an attempt to address this issue in the same kind of spirit that Paul describes in the 1 Corinthians 8:4-15 passage, many Christian churches try to provide alternate, fun, child centered activities close to the day of Halloween. You'll see an abundance of things titled "Harvest Festival", "Fall Fun Days", etc. at this time of year at many Christian churches. The church that I attended when I used to live in a large, urban, area used to have a huge fall carnival on Halloween night every year. Children could dress up if they chose, and there were lots of fun booths that were manned by volunteers. I volunteered at that carnival, and my sons attended it, most of the years I lived in that area and it was a lot of fun. Hundreds of local people enjoyed the fun and safety for their little ones.

What about you, do you think it's OK for Christians to celebrate Halloween? Why or Why not?